aibu to not breastfeed just beacuse i dont want to?

[lunalovegrooove]

I understand breast is best, but I don't want to do it.
I feel pressure and the implication that I am a bad mother. I think I have the right to choose, and that the medical establishment doesn't expect something this taxing from men in society.

Am I a bad mother?

Yes breast is best, that’s a scientific fact BUT formula is such a close second there’s really not much in it at all, it’s not like the choice is breastmilk or sewer water !! Theres not some huge gap between breastmilk and formula it’s just that breastfeeding offers a few more protective health and immunity factors but not anything that significant that would mean anyone would know who has been breastfed and who had been formula fed.

Peak Mumsnet martyr 🤣🤣🤣

Sethos

But breast feeding isn’t best for so many babies and how far are you going to push that logic?Mothers working/ not working can be argued not in a child’s best interest. Zero access to phones is definitely best for them ditto 10 organic fruit and veg a day along with zero processed food, hearing them read daily, proper regular exercise and limited screen time, mums not sitting on phones for hours in front of them….Are you doing all that and more?

Or are you just loving your child and doing the best you can for you and your circumstances accepting that there is no such thing as perfect parenting and good enough is good enough?That is frankly all anybody should be doing.

No mumsnet is full of posters who are very blinkered
Back in the real.world however nobody cares how other women choose to.fed their kids

@MumblesParty not sure what that has to do with my response to that particular post? Unless you're suggesting ganging up on FF mums is acceptable as some kind of retribution for the way you were treated?

People on both sides should just mid their own business and do what works best for their family.

Have you breastfed before?

You say it's 'not comfortable.'

Is that what you mean?

Or that you are not comfortable with the idea?

Sorry but although I agree you have the right not to, it's odd that you don't want to give your baby the best start. The evidence is clear on this.

i honestly didn’t care less about any pain or discomfort as I was so determined to give my baby the antibodies and inherent protection the breast milk provided. That was my prime motivator with both kids.

@PenguinRainbows so mothers who choose not to breastfeed are bad mothers?

Ffs

Back in the real.worldhowever nobody cares how other women chooseto.fedtheir kids

They do.

They really do.

The same as the long, trending thread about biscuits and cakes being given to a 2 year old as breakfast.

Breast feeding ,or not, is in the same camp.

Poor op came on here for support after her husband and MIL said what they did. Now she's had a pile on from the breastfeeders.

Mavissdaviss

And wow good luck with keeping that up each and every day for 18 years. 😂😂😂

Whispers< aren’t they supposed to do their homework themselves? >Children learn from making mistakes not mum doing their homework for them.

being a mummy martyr is not the best for the baby.

Happy mum, happy baby.

HTH.

There really is a massive gap. Not only in terms of nutrition but also in things like immunity being passed on, gut bacteria (not to mention benefits to mother's body).

Is it better to starve? Of course not. But a frozen lasagna is not the same as a home-made roast dinner. Both are 'fed', and there are legitimate reasons for both choices, but they are not the same.

It’s not ridiculous at all. MN is full of posts by people who aren’t doing what’s best for their kids, and they get rightly slated. Maybe if we all started from the position of doing what was best, as a default, the world would be a better place with fewer unhappy kids.

Maybe if we started form the position of doing what is best for the family as a whole there would be fewer unhappy kids. In the developed world the difference between BF and FF in negligible and nobody should be made to feel guilty for choosing either option.

I have 3 kids.
First breastfed. I hated it and did it because she was a preemie and the pressure was horrendous and I didn't have the wherewithal to withstand it.
Second I breastfed for 3 days and nearly ended up in the river.
Third not one second was I entertaining it.
All 3 are fine healthy young women whith zero health issues.
Not everyone likes it. I hated it.

Anyone deliberately making a choice not to even try to do the best for their child is not putting them first.

Good mothers at least try to put their baby first.

The subject is irrelevant.

If you're going to make such a batshit statement, maybe provide a reliable source to a study proving this.

I formula fed from birth and there's absolutely no way I'm attempting to breastfeed twins so will formula feed them from birth too.

No one is entitled to my body, not even my children. Bodily autonomy is important.

Actually, she asked if she was being unreasonable.
She's getting replies in relation to what she asked.

Your proving my point ,mums net isn't the real.world
Its a world where.we can 26 pages on a thread arguing about the best way to.make a cottage pie! ( True story😂)

On one thread we have people losing their minds that a two year old had cake and biscuits for breakfast. On another, we have people saying there's no difference between starting your baby off on breastmilk or this...someone make it make sense.

no one is saying you shouldn't breastfeed if it makes you happy?

No one is attacking breastfeeding mothers, not until the child is 5 years old but that's another debate entirely😂

Your choice, but your comment about men is irrelevant. There are proven benefits to BF for you and baby but that doesn’t mean formula isn’t perfectly fine. My motivation to Bf is mostly that’s it’s free and easier than prepping bottles!

Your choice how you feed, however being as you are their mother you have already granted them access to your body surely?

@dontforgetme Being a 'bad mother'.

'Bad' is maybe not the right word.

But as a parent, shouldn't they put their child's needs first as far as possible, especially when medical evidence favours something over something else?