aibu to not breastfeed just beacuse i dont want to?

[lunalovegrooove]

I understand breast is best, but I don't want to do it.
I feel pressure and the implication that I am a bad mother. I think I have the right to choose, and that the medical establishment doesn't expect something this taxing from men in society.

Am I a bad mother?

Oh dear, you've clearly got selective reading/interpretation.

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Housesellingnightmare · Today 09:26

MrsSkylerWhite · Today 09:25

Housesellingnightmare · Today 09:21
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Have they? I'm not sure anyone has been called a bad parent or selfish for breastfeeding have they? Several times by several posters

Yes they have. hoven , for example, in just the last couple of pages.

@MrsSkylerWhite noooo I saw that, she's calling ff feeders bad. I meant nobody is calling bf feeders bad

Apologies, my mistake.

To use your phrase, oh dear, it's not me who is struggling. Read the whole thread.

@Housesellingnightmare

1. I don't claim to be lovely or above others - just a normal person

1. Unfortunately babies can't advocate for themselves so I speak on behalf of them.

hoven · Today 09:29

MrsSkylerWhite · Today 09:23

Yes, hoven, I am lovely. You on the other hand are a judgemental arse who ought to be ashamed of (her, presumably?) self.

Your posts are disgraceful.

Wow you sound like a saint let's all follow you
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Lovely people don't call people rude names due to a difference in viewpoint

So, an hypocrite as well as nasty and judgemental. Not acceptable to call people “rude names” but perfectly acceptable to spout the poisonous nonsense you have about ff mothers being bad parents, as long as you don’t use “rude” words?

Unbelievable.

Hey OP. Good news is in real life nobody will talk to you like this. Make the decision that feels best for you.
There is a lot of hyperbole from both sides here. Loving the idea that breastfed kids will grow up to be more condescending. And that every formula fed child is the tallest in their class while all BF kids are snivelling allergic weaklings.

Just to give my share of anecdotes to counter some of the stories here that may be putting people off.
I breastfed 2 children for over 18 months. It was easy for me, I didn't spend any money on lactation consultants, I had 2 c sections which didn't affect my milk, I never pumped (you don't have to) my toddler wasn't impacted by me breastfeeding a baby, I have a job and returned to work full time. I was never shamed for feeding and found it easy to do out and about.
It worked for me, the milk was just there, kids dropped night feeds at a reasonable time, I was happy to chill on the sofa and wasn't fussed about being away from baby. Very personal reasons to me that wouldn't work for others. I have friends who used formula who are also really happy with their choice. And we manage to share our experiences without trying to say ours was better than the other.
Please don't take this thread as representative of real life! Do what feels best for you.
And for people who are hoping to breastfeed, again, please don't be put off. I have a lot of friends who've done it with minimal issues, you are not guaranteed for PND and insanity. Just take it a day at a time and see how it goes.

Is it? I’ve seen mums defending their choice to FF against much criticism. I’ve not seen anyone criticise anyone else’s choice to BF. The fervency has definitely escaped me.

When you create a post on an internet forum asking for opinions you will get exactly that.

If you don't want strangers options don't ask on a forum.

I'm not calling random people arseholes like you

No, you’re calling them bad mothers. Which is far, far worse.

There's another advantage to breastfeeding: babies who are exclusively breastfed for the first three months have a lesser chance of becoming obese in childhood/adulthood.

This thread is so sad now, women and mothers arguing like this when it’s clear we all love our children and do the best we can at the time, depending on circumstances.

Motherhood is such a complex and difficult role, and I for one would certainly do some things differently if I had the chance again, but that’s it isn’t it, we can’t turn back time.

You may have breastfed but other things go on behind closed doors which some may say make you a bad mother, whatever that is. You may formula feed and be the best mother in the world, if that exists. Or vice versa of course.

We honestly can’t hand on heart call anyone a bad mother based solely on this subject alone, and the phrase ‘bad mother’ is so loaded and judgmental when we are none of us perfect.

Ladies, keep on doing well by your lovely kids as I know you all do, you will always make mistakes but you can only do what you can at any moment in time. If you’re kind and thoughtful and lead by example your kids will learn from you and hopefully be better people for it (however they were fed)

I understood it was meaningless.

Considering there is a 95% increased risk of SIDS when formula fed I think they would prefer to be breastfed

The point stands that both FF and BF are throwing mud and have mud thrown at them.

The point stands that your comment was meaningless.

But yes, let's leave it there.

www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2812877/#:~:text=in%20these%20studies.-,SIDS,maternal%20smoking%2C%20and%20socioeconomic%20status.

@Housesellingnightmare 95% increases risk of sudden infant death

www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2812877/#:~:text=in%20these%20studies.-,SIDS,maternal%20smoking%2C%20and%20socioeconomic%20status.

It doesn't matter. But the fact you are CHOOSING to increase their risk significantly does