aibu to not breastfeed just beacuse i dont want to?

[lunalovegrooove]

I understand breast is best, but I don't want to do it.
I feel pressure and the implication that I am a bad mother. I think I have the right to choose, and that the medical establishment doesn't expect something this taxing from men in society.

Am I a bad mother?

No but listen to midwives unless you think you are better than them? Isnt it easier to just have them in with you in easy reach for a feed?

But you're going to do it this time? 😂 I'm walking away from this before I start throwing things at my phone.

I wasn't doing it much after 11 weeks. Only when he was teething in pain. Wasn't very often @Coffeerum

Yep and have my partners help 😊my son is an easy child. We will manage and don't need anyone telling me otherwise.

My midwife knew and didn't judge 😌 he slept right through at 11 weeks. I went to him in the morning when he woke up.

"If you enjoy bf, bloody fantastic for you. But ffs, keep your opinions about the choices of other women to yourselves. It’s none of your damned business." THIS!

Your body, your choice.

If you wanted to BF but DH didn't want you to would you agree?

Again, your body, your choice. Your DC won't suffer whatever you decide.

Thank you for this. You get judged for everything you do and they go on at you like you are not going to cope or mange. I did my absolute best with my son and I did a fantastic job. And will do it again with my daughter. They will be so loved and cherished. I will take no shit from anyone. Everyone's journey is different. And I will not let any of the negative comments bring me down! Positivity all the way

I FF both mine. Weight still fell off easily. Probably just genetics!

You do realise babies are different don't you? Not trying to wish you to fail but you don't seem to be thinking of the possibility it might be different with your next baby.

Yanbu or a bad mother. Your body, your choice. If you don't want to breastfeed nobody should pressure you.

@Cowlover89 All I'll say is - consider the alternatives for others.

I love your pride and confidence in your soon to be daughter - but what if she doesn't latch? What if she has colic and doesn't sleep for longer than 30 mins at a time?

I guess we can all agree that every baby is different and it's worth considering that at one point you might need the support from those who exclusively formula feed or refuse to co-sleep.

I believe any mother to be a hero, it's fucking hard. But no baby is the same, and sometimes you will need an outlet that reaches further than your partner or family.

I am not attacking you - I never will, I just want you to appreciate a different perspective. Because expectations vs reality are soooo different! My two DDs were entirely different as newborns but at 3 and 5 you wouldn't know.

At the end of the day, we all have the 9 month battle (RIP body) but after that - holy hell, we are TESTED.

So in supporting all Mumma's being different - accept different opinions, voices, books and studies. Be a sounding board for any Mum who needs to vent. Don't judge. Don'y force opinions.

Listen, learn and appreciate - always.

NEVER, ignore, belittle and undermine.

Because as a hormonal/exhausted new Mum, one little comment can cause a lifetime of anxiety and guilt.

Ignore my spelling faux pas.

I used the cold water sterilisers. Took sterilised bottles, flask of hot water that had been cooled a bit and tubs of formula powder in compartments. Not a faff at all if you are organised.

If it does I still wont be adding formula. Plus I'll be pumping.

If she doesn't latch. I'll express 😊 but I'll be putting her straight on the boob once she's out. Will be putting that on my birthing plan.

I'm not at all. If that's how you want to take it than that's your issue not mine

Yes I do. No reason I won't be able to pump. And we shall see.

Since neither of them would be having to deal with the potential downsides if it. ... Which are significant, both physically and mentally, if it doesn't go well (and even if it does, cluster feeding and being the only person feeding the baby (unless you express, which is a while other issue) can still be v challenging).

They are not the ones affected by it, you are.

So it's your decision.

They sound rather simple minded and high handed.

Wit your h, some of it may be naivety. Your mil doesn't even have that excuse.

Even if she exc bf, different women have diametrically different experiences.

@Cowlover89 Good for you confidence-wise!

I hope you get your desired outcome with your birth plan!

My birth plan lacked imagination it was 'have a baby' 😂 My DDs were of their own opinion from the get-go so no plan of mine stood a chance! 😂

I didnt breastfeed my two. The mere thought of it repulsed me.

They both turned out just fine

my SIL laboured for 14 hours and then needed an emergency C-Section and family made comment on how 'un-natural' it was and how she didn't 'do it properly' - as if she didn't try?!

Aren't they lucky she and the baby had modern medicine/medical intervention then, or they'd have been holding funerals for one or both of them.

Some people really are beyond dumb.

So pro "natural" birth; not realising that natural birth used to leave mothers and babies dead on a not irregular basis before skilled medical intervention.

There's a US midwife with a YouTube channel who relayed that an v old midwifery manual she saw advised (re. a non progressing birth scenario) "comfort mother until she passes". That meant passes away.

Even miscarriages had a significant risk.

I became enormously fat breastfeeding- constantly starving and exhausted so sitting about either feeding for hours or too knackered to exercise 🤷‍♀️.

I wish someone had told my baby that bf should have made him sleepy- he fed 5/6 times a night until he was just shy of 2 years old. Sleep is for wimps don’t you know.