aibu to not breastfeed just beacuse i dont want to?

[lunalovegrooove]

I understand breast is best, but I don't want to do it.
I feel pressure and the implication that I am a bad mother. I think I have the right to choose, and that the medical establishment doesn't expect something this taxing from men in society.

Am I a bad mother?

@Flimflammy my SIL laboured for 14 hours and then needed an emergency C-Section and family made comment on how 'un-natural' it was and how she didn't 'do it properly' - as if she didn't try?!

Ultimately, judging women on how they birth and feed their babies (especially when people don't always have a choice in the matter) is SO wrong and it boils my blood.

Who the hell cares how? Is the baby healthy? EXACTLY - so move on.

People obsess over anything nowadays, it's so unfair.

Again I don't get it with dogs. My mam and dad have one and obviously known since forever and don't get that same relaxing sleepy feeling. My cats however are very loving and affectionate known since they weren't even a day old and took them home at 3 weeks and 5 weeks. Got the best bond

Cowlicer89
**
Well some don't. Some do. I drifted back to sleep so easily”

Were you co-sleeping, then? Considered very unwise/dangerous by many experts. You did it though because it suited you. FF suits lots of women.

I'm just gonna keep positive and hope for the best but prepared for anything.

It’s your choice but I would say don’t rule it out completely until your babies born. Breast feeding in the abstract seems weird, but when you have your baby in your arms it’s very different.

also it’s free, easily available and no sterilising involved. Honestly once you get past the first couple of months it’s so much easier than bottle feeding (I have experience of both). But it’s not for everyone and tbh no one but you really cares how you feed your baby.

I co slept when he was teething or poorly. I wasn't going to put him back in the cot when he was in so much pain. But again when I did put him back in moses basket or cot I still manged to drift off to sleep.

That’s utterly bonkers - I think having someone cut through seven layers to get your child out and healing from that with a newborn is admirable - all births are, whether the kid falls out in 30 minutes or you have something much more serious. Your poor SIL. Such comments are so damaging as well, mum guilt is already massive for everything and mental health with all the crazy hormones and sleep loss, that’s a cruel thing to put upon someone.

The whole thing is mad, people really need to keep their noses to themselves and concentrate on their own kids because you can guarantee they are not perfect parents, because no one is.

I'll let my partner handle that but when it gets to a certain point I'll not steralise anymore. Stopped at 6 months or just before with my son. Just hand wash them

I'm sorry that happened to you but everyone's experience is different

At the beginning yes before I put him in his own room at 11 weeks. After then nope. But you know the sleepy relaxed feeling didn't disappear once I put him down. But sometimes kept him in bed with me because I loved the cuddles.

I co slept when he was teething or poorly. I wasn't going to put him back in the cot when he was in so much pain. But again when I did put him back in moses basket or cot I still manged to drift off to sleep”

Sorry but you’re justifying what other people (me included) would consider unwise because it suited you. On a thread where you’ve not understood why other people ff because it suited them.

I bf and moved into baby’s room for 6 months because expert advice told me that co-sleeping was dangerous.

Breast is not best, FED is best.

I have been very lucky and had an easy breastfeeding journey, it works for me. I know others who have tried it and couldn’t/didn’t continue for various reasons. As long as the baby is fed they will thrive, doesn’t matter if it’s breast or bottle.

I challenge anyone to look at a room for of children or adults and pick out the ones who were breast fed as babies. It’s impossible.

Morherhood is brilliant but hard. Happy mummy = happy baby. Babies are very intuitive, if you are anxious/upset/angry they will feel it too. If breast feeding is making you feel down then the baby will pick up on it. Please look after yourself, that’s what’s best for you and the baby.

Yep he'll do a lot of the feeds. So I can catch up on sleep. I'll be mostly breastfeeding during the day. Will pump every 3 or 4 hours. Will no faff for me

@Flimflammy You're so right! Honestly drives me mad! Who has time to care how the baby arrived and survived?!

It's here, it's feeding, it's going to be a walking, talking, fabulous little human. That's what matters!

You're ace!

We should be empowering women, not belittling them.

And to top it off, there's women out there desperate and unable to have children and here other women are judging others over birthing and feeding choices (if we can call it that in some cases). God how have people become so shallow?!

Bit of a snap into reality for people judging others, you have a healthy baby - that's good for you - stop judging people for how they raise theirs.

@Cowlover89 At the beginning yes before I put him in his own room at 11 weeks. After then nope. But you know the sleepy relaxed feeling didn't disappear once I put him down. But sometimes kept him in bed with me because I loved the cuddles.

What happened to him sleeping through from 11 weeks?

I'm not judging anyone. Each to their own what they do. My son was happy to go in his own room. It worked out for us.

He did sleep through the night at 11 weeks and still does.

@Housesellingnightmare "But I don't look down on people for doing it and say aww but you should do your best for your precious baby and use a basket, because I'm not a judgemental dick"

YES, THIS.

Your baby feeds, your baby sleeps - that's AWESOME. I'm the same, didn't/wouldn't co-sleep due to fearing cot death - but if it worked for anyone else, good for them.

Massive kudos to those who don't judge others.

We need more people like you, you are also ace. X

Lots of experts also recommended it. There are benefits to it. And lots of cultures around the world do it as standard.

You chose not to, that’s great. Other people finds it works for them. I wouldn’t not have survived if I didn’t end up cosleeping. That’s how we survived. Again, no one else’s business but the mother and/or father and the child/ren.

Fed is best, not breast.

So how were you feeding him and “putting him back in his cot” or keeping him with you to co sleep and getting your post BFing sleepy feeling if he wasn’t waking and therefore feeding at night?