aibu to not breastfeed just beacuse i dont want to?

[lunalovegrooove]

I understand breast is best, but I don't want to do it.
I feel pressure and the implication that I am a bad mother. I think I have the right to choose, and that the medical establishment doesn't expect something this taxing from men in society.

Am I a bad mother?

I find it bizarre that someone could be so lacking in imagination, or so willing to dismiss a large section of the population’s choice, particularly on a thread that was started by and will be read by a lot of women who are worried about it for whatever reason.

I don’t know about embarrassing, but you are certainly unpleasant.

I found breastfeeding rather cheap. Didn't spend that much money like say breast pads. In the long rung it is much cheaper.

And like too add I love sleep and from 11 weeks and still now my son sleeps through the night. And will be sharing feeds this time with the dad. It is possible you know and to still get sleep.

Your body, your choice. YANBU.

My mum was the same (a long time ago now). Had absolutely no desire to bf and didn't entertain the idea.

If you wanted baby to have breastmilk but not bf you could express and bottle feed but I'm sure you've considered that as an idea anyway. It's certainly not an easy option.

If you're sure you don't want to, stand firm with your dh and MIL. Tell them to stop pressuring you. Pregnancy and labour is hard enough.

Cluster feeding doesn't last forever and tbf you don't even have to get out of bed. Can feed on your side and fall back to sleep. Again it doesn't have to be alone. I loved breastfeeding and those sleepy cuddles afterwards. Baba would fall asleep straight away.

I didn’t do it & my DD is absolutely fine! Your body, your choice.

I've done both so no disgust here. Just can't be doing with all the head tilty "wheres the extra work in FF" comments.
Run the dishwasher once a day when full so no good for round the clock feeding.
My friend recently got the shock of her life when her baby turned out to be a cluster feeding FF baby. She doesn't even know it was a thing. At least baby can be handed to her dad though.
We had a perfect prep but pretty sure it was behind some issues with DS tummy that went away when we ditched it. I know lots of people who have used it with no issues though, great gadget only invented to take away some of the faff.

I’m not sure that pointing out that something needs doing is slinging anything in disgust. I can imagine that once you start formula feeding you get into a routine and it becomes straightforward, but surely you can see that to someone who’s never done it it might look like a lot of work?

As I pointed out earlier, the downsides of breastfeeding do get understated when touting how “convenient” it is, but someone pointing out that they personally would find an aspect of formula feeding a bit of a hassle isn’t really slinging anything in disgust (any more than those who are pointing out the disadvantages of breastfeeding).

Rubbish. One of mine slept 7 hours at 9 weeks and was breastfed. Touched a nerve did they?

YANBU
You'll teach your child their body; their choice - lead by example!

Or not
Maybe they will bully and berate and shame their own dds and dils if they dont breastfeed.
Cos that never happens....

@theduchessofspork Not unpleasant at all. Just stating facts. 😀

If you don't want to, don't do it. However its actually easier, cheaper and helps you relax. So maybe try it? But it's up to you. A happy mother is what baby most needs.

Why haven’t you Googled it? Since you can’t seem to even though it takes 30 seconds, here are the basics. And this really is a basic list, there are lots more benefits to it not mentioned:

https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/baby/breastfeeding-and-bottle-feeding/breastfeeding/benefits/

Formula is fantastic, but it doesn’t change and develop in the same way breastmilk does. Breast milk changes throughout the day, as the child changes with age and with the child’s health. Formula sadly cannot do that.

@Housesellingnightmare So if someone who formula fed says that not being able to share feeds is a disadvantage of breastfeeding, is that being slung in disgust or is it just someone saying they’d find that difficult?

I guess because a BF baby feeds little and often (or a lot)! you’ve no choice but to “relax”and feed. Natures way of ensuring mum is recovering PP.

@Housesellingnightmare I found it relaxing as for me it was easy. For my first I spent most days watching the last series of desperate housewives with my daughter on my boob dozing.

My 2nd not so easy but the ability to shut her up at any point by feeding was great. In the night I could just shove her on in the dark and put her back down.

I realise this isn't the way for many but for me it was so straightforward I'm glad I didn't have the faff of bottles.

This said OP do what you need to do.

When I was pregnant, I was 100% on the fence on the bottle v breast thing. My son was born 4 weeks prematurely and when he was finally given to me to attempt BF (with no prior warning) he couldn't latch on so was given formula, which I was fine with; I just wanted to know that my son was satiated. We were in hospital for 2 days after his birth, during which time, I was given at least 3 BF "sessions", but my son would latch on for 3-4 sucks, then lost interest; with a bottle, he was the complete opposite.

I spent the first few days at home with him, determined to BF, but despite spending at least 8 hours a day expressing, my supply wasn't enough, and he refused to latch on; he definitely preferred teat to tit!
My advice, for what it's worth, would be don't do anything you're uncomfortable with. If you're willing to try it, then maybe think about expressing, but don't be surprised or disappointed if your supply isn't enough to solely sustain baby.
If even the thought of expressing sets you on edge, then just do formula. For the love of Tom Hardy, don't fall for the whole "follow on milk" marketing thing though......!

My bf baby slept through at 10 weeks.
Always been grateful that we were bloody lucky though.
I can't say it's a bf vs formula thing. I think some babies just sleep well and others don't.

Mine hated naps but slept at night.