aibu to not breastfeed just beacuse i dont want to?

[lunalovegrooove]

I understand breast is best, but I don't want to do it.
I feel pressure and the implication that I am a bad mother. I think I have the right to choose, and that the medical establishment doesn't expect something this taxing from men in society.

Am I a bad mother?

I didn’t want to breast feed any of my four. Do what feels right for you op

We did this. The extra pump during the day was absolutely worth a full night's sleep. X

I feel and think that way about elective C sections for cosmetic or convenience reasons, surrogacy, and sex work. Sorry, I wasn't being anti modern. I was trying to make the point that we are interdependent beings. I stand by wanting to use reason and responsibility as well as personal comfort when considering big commitments to a little human!

I hate to say this but I would do a least a week ... colostrum is so important, if you've got a medical reason then obviously it's fine but I don't understand why you wouldn't want to try and do the best for your baby and formula really isn't the best , I worked in the NHS as a breastfeeding support & with nicu babies especially it can make all the difference and it can lessen the chances of breast cancer so I really don't understand why you wouldnt want to .. sorry but its just my very informed opinion .

Ur absolutely not a bad mother. A bad mother wouldn’t even think about whether they r a bad mother.

I have 2 DS one of which is a newborn.
I haven’t breast fed either of them. I simply didn’t want to. End of story. I didn’t justify my choice to any healthcare professionals. They asked if I was going to breastfeed and I just said a firm no. Never had any issues. Only one midwife made a slight comment so ur not even going to try I just said no: conversation ended !

do not take any nonsense from anyone. It’s ur body, ur choice, ur children. Fed is best. In. 20 years no one will be asking if they were breast or bottle fed x

It’s your choice as mum at the end of the day. I work in infant feeding and always say to pregnant mums keep an open mind regardless of you inclination at present. When baby is born they have an instinct to find and latch to the breast, you may find in the moment it feels lovely and natural, you may not. You may the decide to try afew days for the colostrum (1ml contains tens of thousands of antibodies) and then stop. But I always say decide when baby comes, keep and open mind

Only if you want to express, which I also had no interest in.

Sharing the feeds with formula is easier because it doesn't involve having to express missed feeds when someone else is feeding baby.

More judgemental opinion? If someone chooses not to breastfeed that’s fine. My midwife accused me of not caring about my unborn baby when I was pregnant because I said I just didn’t like the idea. When my baby was born I breastfed. It wasn’t the midwife with her vile comment it was a natural decision I made. Please try and promote breastfeeding without resorting to awful comments like “why you wouldn’t try your best.” It doesn’t help.

I didnt breastfeed any of my 3. All fit, strong and healthy children. I hate the thought of it.

I had no pressure from anyone, thankfully.

Oh what ace support you are 🙄

Actually it is factual and informative. It’s called ‘formula’ for a reason.

I had an elective c-section and FF from birth by choice.
Purely based on what I knew I could mentally cope with better, I chose the 1/100 but more serious risks of infection etc over the 5/10 but less serious risk of tearing and incontinence.
I also chose sleep and some degree of independence over breastfeeding.
I’ve had an extremely easy birth, feeding incl. weaning and sleep journey and I have an incredibly easy, chilled and joyful baby - yes some of this is down to pure luck but I do genuinely believe the most important factor for a happy health baby is a happy healthy parent. Good luck!

I do genuinely believe the most important factor for a happy health baby is a happy healthy parent. Good luck!

@Cluelessbeetroot Agreed!! 100% agreed! Putting things in place to protect themselves going forward doesn't make one a bad mother. Parenting is hard. We all need to figure out ways to cope with it. If it's FF or BF that works best for the mother everyone's concern should really only be that of the happiness and health of the mother and baby!

Exactly.

Yes, breast milk has some benefits but I can't imagine how beneficial it would be to my baby to have an uncomfortable, miserable mum who hates feeding time because she has forced herself to breastfeed.

My son did. I did it from day 1. Will be doing the same with my daughter. I love pumping

Oh yes isn't it 😊 x

No YANBU, no-one asks a grown adult if they were breast or bottle fed. Do what works for you lovely. I did and have no regrets! X

Personally I'd rather pump than faff on with making bottles of formula. It's not that hard once get in to a routine.

@justanothermummma thats actually so true. I would even say once they've weaned onto solids people don't ask. It's usually only a question to make bloody convo anyway, along with "what weight was she" "does she sleep well" and "is she good" 😂😂😂 My DD is 1 and nobody asks me whether she was BF or FF. And now that I think of it, I don't know if I was BF or FF as a baby 😅

I have a perfect prep machine. Making bottles couldn't be easier.

I don't find it to be a faff at all.

Why don't you want to?

When I was pregnant I didn't want to either, I felt a bit weird about it, I now realise that my issue was cultural. It's because in our society sexualises breasts for the male gaze. My mother kept telling me I should at least do it in the beginning and it was the best thing, I was bf for 4 weeks before my mum introduced formula before she went back to work when I was 6 weeks. I literally knew nothing about breastfeeding and started asking women if they bf and how long for, one of the first women I asked said she "only" bf her son for 6 months. I was so shocked, I recall saying "wow that's a really long time!" Thinking she was a bit of a weirdo if you can believe that

I decided I should try really, but wasn't particularly concerned about it. I was more consumed with the birth. But I did start having dreams about breastfeeding my baby, perhaps my subconscious trying to help me find it normal?

One thing that really shocked me was when she was born, how much I desperately wanted to breastfeed her. I was very fortunate that with help from my midwife (who very luckily was trained in breastfeeding, most aren't!) and my DP (he helped so much with the positioning) we got the hang of it. actually went to give her formula in the middle of the night on her second day and the smell was horrible to me and I couldn't give it to her. I hope that last comment doesn't upset anyone, I'm just sharing my thoughts and feelings at the time, I was formula fed myself and I'm very healthy adult.

Anyway, I share this with you because IMO it is worth learning more and considering breastfeeding more, you don't need to make your mind up until baby has arrived. A choice is only really a choice when you are fully informed and really it's worth considering carefully the reasons why you don't want to.

It's not that hard once get in to a routine.

@Cowlover89 I'm pretty sure some breast feeding parents, pumping parents, combi feeding parents and and formula feeding parents have all used this phrase at some point. People consider different things an effort or a faff. Once a routine is established with any method of feeding it becomes easier on the parents.