Dinner with friends predicament...

[alwaysstrivingforinnerpeace]

Rather than asking if I'm being unreasonable, I think I'd just like some honest advice please!
For my birthday my employer gifted me a voucher for an expensive restaurant in my local town. The voucher was for £300 and to be honest, at that restaurant, you could easily spend that on dinner for two once you've had a few cocktails and a bottle of wine!
Me and my partner don't get to go out much - we rarely have a babysitter and not a lot of spare cash to be dining out together, especially somewhere like that!
We had friends round a few weeks ago and I told them about my voucher and after a few wines thought it would be a great idea to invite my friend and her girlfriend to join us. They have no kids so a lot more spare cash than us, so dining out is a weekly thing for them.
I'm a real over-thinker and as the date is approaching I'm starting to worry.
When the bill arrives how would you expect to split in? Would you put the voucher in then split the remainder between the two couples? Would you put the voucher in then expect them to pay the rest of the bill? The closer it gets the more anxious I'm getting. I don't want to upset our friends but also can't really afford to fork out loads on the night.
What do you think? What would you do? I'm regretting inviting them now but I know uninviting them isn't an option!
Please help!

Another option is to cancel, then rebook with just you and your dh for an anniversary special occasion

I still think this is rude to be honest as you’re now putting your “guests” in a position where they either have to pay more than they originally thought, or decline due to not being able to afford it/not being willing to spend that much on a meal without the voucher. Not good form.

Honestly, the implication to this invite is absolutely that the money is being shared, I couldn't bring myself to text them and say "I know I told you about the voucher and I know I implied it was for us all to enjoy but Ive changed my mind in the cold light of day so they meal I invited you to as a treat is now going to set you back £300".

Cancel, or suck it up. But having them pay full whack while you use a voucher is really cheap in the circumstances in which you invited them to join you in your gift.

Its really cringe all around. Honestly I'd just cancel, say you've been invited to something more important that day, a family birthday or something, just make sure its not a last minute "im sick" one, its really disrespectful of their time.

This.

Worst things worst, can you say you called ahead and can only use the voucher on a week day or something?! In which case you will just save it for your anniversary/cats birthday that falls on a Tuesday in January?

No, don't go giving them £100 off their bill!

That was a gift for you - you should go and have whatever you like from the menu without having to worry about sticking to a certain amount.

It was a gift to her that she seemingly offered? No one has strong armed her into it other than one too many alcoholic drinks.

Personally I would (and have) chuck the voucher in, say ssomething like "So we've each got £150 to spend ..." and agree that if one couple go over that amount they'll put in the difference themselves

If you told me about the voucher and then invited me to join, I would assume the voucher was covering my meal.

I would clarify with the friends that you were a couple drinks in and the voucher will only cover your meals and not their meal and double check they still want to come.

I really do disagree with this, its just reneging what was offered. She wouldnt really be "clarifying", she'd be changing the goal posts, its quite gas lighty (or fire pokey for a lighter term) to suggest they've misunderstood the offer that was made.

I would focus on the part that you want to have a lovely meal with friends, and the restaurant itself is secondary.

I'd contact your friend and say that you looked up the restaurant, and it is very expensive, so why don't you all go somewhere less expensive instead, and suggest restaurant X. You all still get your nice meal together, and no worries about vouchers.
If they say, they were really looking forward to the expensive one, then you could say you can't afford to pay any more than the voucher, but you're happy to join them if they want to go.

These are friends. They were drinking.

If you can't talk to your friends - they aren't really friends. Nothing wrong with saying voucher wont go as far as I thought. No, it isn't any kind of manipulation at all. It is called having a drink with friends and then getting back to reality.

Say the babysitter has let you down. Then wait for your friends to offer and you and DH can go out...

Or, as she is a friend say, 'look I've got into a real muddle with this voucher thing. I don't think I can afford to split. Would you mind if we use it to pay for our meal first and if there's any left it would be so nice to share it with you.'

What's she going to do? Say 'ha ha, you're poor, how rude.'

No, she's going to say, 'of course. Sounds like a good plan.'

Coz she's a friend, right?

My suggestion is that you message them and say that having looked at the prices, you'll cover the first £100 of their bill, that leaves you £200 towards yours which should be sufficient at all but the fanciest of tasting menu places, just go east on the cocktails

It is manipulative to suggest they have misunderstood a clear offer, friends or not.

I would throw the voucher at the bill and let them split the rest assuming they aren't left with more than 50 percent.

I'd say it at the begining or in advance though.

It’s not. You don’t invite people to a fancy restaurant under the guise of a voucher being available then rescind it is just so socially inept and rude. All of this about £200 off my bill, £100 of yours is just so confusing. I’m cringing at the bill coming and the iPhone calculators coming out.

The best thing to do in this situation is cancel due to a double booking or whatever and then just go with your husband another time. Enjoy your present and your lovely treat- don’t turn it into something weird.

See your friends another time in a balanced, more affordable situation.

'Hi Jane, this is really awkward, but when I invited you & Kate to Fancypants Restaurant I was a bit pissed & hadn't thought to check out their website...obviously I assumed £300 would pretty much cover the 4 of us, but now I've looked & it's outrageous prices - we'd be looking at £75-100 each for the 4 of us, after taking the voucher off! Dave & I are a bit skint right now. Can we raincheck & save the voucher to go another time, when we're a bit more flush? Would be lovely to go for a curry though?'

Either she says 'Don't be daft, it's your birthday voucher - Kate & I will pick up our own tab.'

Or 'of course! Let us know if & when it works for you guys.'

Then neither of you ever mention it again. She's hardly going to pester you 'oi, are you still too poor for Fancypants?' is she?

After a decent interval, go with dp. In the unlikely event that it ever DOES get mentioned again, 'admit' sheepishly that you realised it was about to expire, which happened to coincide with when they were on holiday, so you went by yourselves...

Cancel the dinner with a vague excuse and rebook just you and partner, use voucher for you two
You aren’t obliged to share your voucher in communal payment for a group meal, however the knowledge of it will introduce an aspect of expectation that the £300 voucher is communal to be shared
The voucher is not necessarily for communal enjoyment it is your unexpected lovely surprise for you to do what you wish
Dont feel under a compulsion to share

This is much better, complete transparency and accountability, but still friendly.

Id honestly laugh if I got that, call you a muppet and tell you both to go enjoy yourselves.

What a convoluted dance of manners and made up they said,I said scenarios. Just tell the truth. No sheepish lies,no strained manners, no will they won’t they ask
Truth is simply, it was a lovely surprise and you’re not using it for a communal meal

I don’t know why people are saying you should not have mentioned the voucher. They would find out on the night anyway when the bill comes and you produce it. I’d chuck the voucher in, then split the remainder four ways, so basically you then pay half of what’s left for yourself and DH. You invited them, that’s what you do or they would be gobsmacked surely. Occasionally people have had the odd voucher when we have gone to restaurants, it’s always just cheaper caked on the plate and remainder split between number of people there. If not, I imagine there’d be a lot of side eyeing.

If I had been invited I would expect to pay the full excess. So the £300 comes off the bill and the friends pay whatever’s left, you and your partner pay nothing extra (obviously assuming the £300 at least covers you and your partners share fully) Anything else is very rude of your friends!

Ah OP, this is so much something that I would do! I think it's implied that it's your treat because of mentioning the voucher, so I think you're going to have to suck it up. I would put the voucher in and then split the extra four ways. Hope you have a lovely night regardless, don't let the stress about this affect a great night with your DP and friends!

If I was your friends I would assume that you would be using the voucher to reduce the whole bill by 300 and then splitting the bill 4 ways after this.
If you have another plan then you need to voice this prior to the evening so they can bow out if they can't afford it.

I would say that you have seen the prices at the restaurant and now realise that the 300 will not cover 4 people. Explain you are a bit dimwitted and now feel silly for being overexcited. Say you are still of course happy for them to come but they will have to pay for themselves as the voucher will only cover what you and boyfriend will consume.