Stopped by old man

[Unsurehowtofeel]

It's a strange one.

I was returning something in a supermarket today and as I walked in the alarms beeped. I was the only one walking in or out at the time so i knew it was me, but thought nothing of it and carried on to the customer service desk because A) I was walking in, not out and B) I didn't see or hear any security stopping me.

It's one of those supermarkets with automatic doors and a meter or so in is some electronic gates to enter the shop or to the left is open access for leaving. Customer service is also to the left.

Anyway, as I was making my way to customer services (walking against the traffic of people walking out) an old man and his wife blocked my way. I was confused. The man then held my trolly and started trying to turn it around towards a colleague stood behind on the other side of the doors (not customer services side) who in retrospect I think had tried to get my attention.

I have some social anxiety and at the time I was panicy thinking how can he (security) think I'm stealing when I'm walking in.

All security was asking in the end was whether the tag was still on it because he could remove it there for me.

Now I'm left feeling somewhat strange. The way an old man thought he could stop me from entering the shop and just his entitlement. Its made me feel all weird and icky. I dont know if it's because I didn't stick up for myself when I feel like I should have or whether it's because of his entitlement.

Just here to get it off my chest really 😂and any advice welcome for how to deal with men like that next time.

What does his age have to do with any of this?

He sounds like one of those people who would rubber neck outside his own living room window and grass up on every infraction.

Let it go

Also wondering this?

It gives a clearer mental picture. I'm thinking Lance Corporal Jones from Dad's Army.

... but totally irrelevant to the OP's story.

Totally irrelevant

Oh blimey OP, you mentioned age. Now you won't get anything other than comments about that.

I'd have just laughed at him. Bloody busybody.

Not to me. I'm having a whale of a time picturing his moustache and his lil trousers ticked into his lil boots.

You say he was old - how old? Was he frail? Usually if someone accosts me like that I'd use my strength to barge past them if I thought I was likely to come off best. If not at least give them some verbal or try to hit their hand away from the trolley. It's not his job to take on the role of store security. In the circumstances you describe he wouldn't be entitled to attempt a citizen's arrest on you either because it's not like you were leaving the shop therefore weren't in the act of stealing anything. And even if someone makes a legal citizen's arrest, that would only entitle them to detain you where you were. Forcing you to move would be false imprisonment and/or kidnapping.

A young man would be more threatening to me old men can be loud and entitled but not usually a physical threat

What did you say to him?

I read this and just knew people would pounce on the age thing. It is relevant, because as a pp said, it may affect the context. A young man physically stopping you may cause a different reaction to an old man, who may seem like less of a threat. The op is asking if they are being unreasonable, so these things add details that may be needed.

Forgive and forget 😃

His age isn't relevant.

He just realised you hadn't seen security wanted you to stop so was pointing it out. Nothing too sinister.

Why do you want advice on dealing with men, when you’ve said he AND his wife stood in your way?

I also think the age is helpful info OP and def gives a clearer picture of what happened. Very weird for him to not just say something to you - he probably felt like he was a hero in an action movie! I think I’d feel just like you. Don’t worry if you can’t quite put your finger on it. His behaviour was strange but don’t linger too long on it

I don’t suppose it’s going to ‘happen again’ , so I wouldn’t worry about it.

Bugger , pressed too soon. I was rather hopeful of your title, expecting a riveting tale of starvation and albatross slaying ….

‘It is an ancient Mariner,
And he stoppeth one of three.
'By thy long grey beard and glittering eye,
Now wherefore stopp'st thou me? ‘

but no such luck

It's a bit of a non-event, surely?
Just let it go
Someone was calling you over, and he alerted you to that. Nothing more to it. You're really over thinking this.

"old" men.
She clearly only has problems with old ones.
So much so she felt the need to mention it plural times in her ageist post.

Just think @Unsurehowtofeel , if you'd just have been not ageist and said "the supermarket bleepy thing went off and a couple blocked my way..." You'd have been told "and? They were just being helpful to the store/thought you were a scamming thief" or (in the case of one charmer "I'd have pushed them out of the way and given them some verbal"

Instead, we have to go through all this faux naivety again about his age being relevant.

Own your prejudices.

And btw, nothing happened. There was nothing to see. Move on now.

I'm just waiting for someone to come along and ask whether it's likely that he has dementia as that seems to be the usual suggestion

Maybe the man had noticed that the security person was trying to get your attention and save you a trip to the customer service desk, and just went about it in a strange way - probably unthinking because it all happened in the space of 5 seconds.

I wouldn't immediately assume entitlement, but sadly we seem to be moving towards a world where any unplanned interaction must have malicious intent.

Hasn't something been mentioned in the news recently about the govt wanting ordinary people to get involved to help stop shop lifting? Maybe they've heard this and have decided to try it out??

Just here to get it off my chest really 😂and any advice welcome for how to deal with men like that next time.

If someone manhandled my trolley I would say "please can you take your hands off my trolley, I'm trying to do my shopping".