Stopped by old man

[Unsurehowtofeel]

It's a strange one.

I was returning something in a supermarket today and as I walked in the alarms beeped. I was the only one walking in or out at the time so i knew it was me, but thought nothing of it and carried on to the customer service desk because A) I was walking in, not out and B) I didn't see or hear any security stopping me.

It's one of those supermarkets with automatic doors and a meter or so in is some electronic gates to enter the shop or to the left is open access for leaving. Customer service is also to the left.

Anyway, as I was making my way to customer services (walking against the traffic of people walking out) an old man and his wife blocked my way. I was confused. The man then held my trolly and started trying to turn it around towards a colleague stood behind on the other side of the doors (not customer services side) who in retrospect I think had tried to get my attention.

I have some social anxiety and at the time I was panicy thinking how can he (security) think I'm stealing when I'm walking in.

All security was asking in the end was whether the tag was still on it because he could remove it there for me.

Now I'm left feeling somewhat strange. The way an old man thought he could stop me from entering the shop and just his entitlement. Its made me feel all weird and icky. I dont know if it's because I didn't stick up for myself when I feel like I should have or whether it's because of his entitlement.

Just here to get it off my chest really 😂and any advice welcome for how to deal with men like that next time.

I gave your reply the notice it deserved. It was laughable.

I don't think there's anything wrong with that either. And I never said that there was. It's only the people who are offended at someone mentioning someone else being in an older age group, who are offended by someone being described by their race, and I have NO idea why. It is literally just a bloody description of somebody!

People place far too much emphasis on words and terminology. Get a grip FGS. A person must have literally naff-all to worry about, if someone else describing another person by their race or age group, offends and upsets them so much.

All the shit going on in this world, and people are getting upset and angry at someone using the phrase 'he was an old man' to describe someone who was .. EXACTLY that!

And as I said, NOBODY says a fecking thing, when someone mentions a person is YOUNG!

I'm leaving this thread now. Some responses on here are just ludicrous, and I CBA with it anymore. If you're still reading @Unsurehowtofeel you have said nothing wrong.

Sounds good.

Hope you’re feeling better now, OP, and that this thread hasn’t made you feel twice as shit.

Yeah like she CHOSE to completely ignore the beeping and the staff who were trying to get her attention. Maybe there is rudeness and entitlement on both sides and perhaps if he posts I’ll tell him too

How the hell do you manage to leave the house? An old man tried to direct your attention to security who you had ignored and what? You're frightened traumatized anxious. You need help. Badly. Start challenging yourself every day to do something that is difficult for you. You are not precious or special. People are entitled to get in your way, talk to you, shout at you even and you need to change your reaction.

It is as relevant as his sex.

I think both are relevant. I also think it significant that the man was with his wife.

I think an old man is more likely to stop a young woman in the circumstances the OP describes than a young man would. And even if I am wrong, the 'threat' posed by an old man is different to the threat posed by a young man.

Black women behave just as white women do.

Old men, whether black or white, behave differently from young men.

😂

I expect OP sometimes finds life difficult because there are people in the world that will, entirely and unnecessarily, have a go just to make themselves feel better in some very, very small way. She doesn’t need to do anything, particularly something that a bully on an online forum says.

I hope that you said this because you’re having a bad day. I hope that your day gets better. And that you don’t make anyone else feel the way this probably makes the OP feel. Has anyone ever done something that’s nice for you? How did that make you feel? Maybe worth considering.

Amazing 😁

Everyone getting hissy about the guy's age being mentioned while seemingly being unaware his sex isn't relevant either (presuming he stopped the trolley with his hand and not his dick). 'A person stopped my trolley' is all that SHOULD be needed but we usually want more than that don't we?

We do, humans like details in their stories. Also, it is relevant that it’s a man. Men do often have a sense of entitlement. We do live in a patriarchy.

Agreed. She was describing her experience.

I think I would have held my trolley firm and given him a look of incredulity 😄and see what happened after that.

Exactly. There is a potentially a generational element. Also like a pp said if it had been a young lad grabbing your trolley there is more of a threat involved. The age was totally relevant in this story.

I know this is madness! “Horribly ageist!?” Perpetually offended or virtue signalling gone wrong!

You sound nice 😀

Get over yourself...

Anyone in particular? Or just screaming into the void? 😀

I’m an old woman and my DH is an old man. We don’t need anyone stepping up and taking offence on our behalf.

Ageist 🤣🤣🤣🤣 fucking hell… you can’t even describe a person without being ‘ist’ now!! Old, black, white, brown who gives a shit… I think everyone making it A THING are the problem!!

OP you need to be more assertive! It was none of his business if the alarm went off, you should have said something but you didn’t… it was him not you. Don’t worry…

This was a very strange invasion of privacy from the man which would make anyone with any level of anxiety feel at least uncomfortable because it’s not normal behaviour for people to act like that. With regards to the age I’m assuming the reason why you mentioned his age may be this but OP correct me if I’m wrong. When we feel threatened in this case due to people acting oddly, our brains often goes into flight mode as it would be if we sensed we were under attack. You couldn’t have comprehended in that moment what the man was going to do to you because his actions were so abnormal. When we feel like we are in danger the brain only tends to use the information it needs to in order to get us out of the situation and remember the culprit. (People of all ages commit crimes. Luckily, this man was just being a busybody thinking he was being helpful). This includes remembering any identifying information about that person. Age, ethnicity and stature are all basic examples of these. Saying the man is old is NOT ageist, it’s descriptive and everyone shouting ageism needs to sit down and take the day off. If the OP walked past the older gentleman and made a rude or biased comment based purely because of his age then THAT is ageism. Can people stop trotting out the racism/ageism/whatever-ism card without understanding what it actually means? It doesn’t make you a wonderful person for righting social wrongs it just makes you look cringeworthy and not very bright. Hope you’re okay OP.

I saw this at lunchtime, I envisaged Foggy. from Last of the Summer Wine. 😂