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Original poster

Those cool, messy, usually wealthy mums

607 replies

Shessodowntoearth · 18/10/2023 10:19

I want to be one 😅
Does anyone know the type?
Usually quite a few kids, at least two, kids are lovely, but generally quite messy/put together in a kooky way.
Houses are beautiful, but messy/disorganised, beautiful pieces everywhere/decoration but with a lived in/messy vibe. The mums are the same, usually seem quite disorganised but chilled out at the same time, generally away somewhere every school holidays and don’t work.
I know quite a few mums like this near me and wonder what this life is like, mainly the having more money. I’d love to be as laid back if people come around, to not care about the mess as the house is so incredible, to not worry if my kids clothes look scruffy in a cool way and to be comfortable in myself. Is this what happens when you come from money?

OP posts:
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Original poster
Shessodowntoearth · 18/10/2023 10:25

They generally don’t work but are smart with a good, educational backgrounds and not really the ‘Ladies who lunch/get Botox’ type

OP posts:
Wonkasworld · 18/10/2023 10:26

Usually seen on TV dramas, and always with a massive kitchen and the obligatory island. Mum always having time to pour herself a large glass of red.

LittleMissUnreasonable · 18/10/2023 10:33

Reminds me a bit of a more bohemian version of Outnumbered. Wealthy family, chaotic but fun!

Blossompink · 18/10/2023 10:47

There are a lot of these types in Bruton and surrounding areas. Frequent Babington House on warm days all barefoot and fancy free.

CoffeeCantata · 18/10/2023 10:48

Yes - I've known a few. I have several friends like this.

They're great in many ways - well-educated, cultured, funny, imaginative, original and open-minded.

But can be a bit infuriating. I think the messiness is a kind of over-secure-ness (if you know what I mean). They don't care what others think, and that can come over as a bit arrogant. I suspect some of them believe that menial tasks are a bit beneath them ( a bit lower middle-class and 'Hyacinth Bucket), and back a couple of generations, their families probably had 'staff'. They do wear their lack of interest in tidiness and sometimes household hygiene a bit of a badge of honour, and that's the bit I find annoying!!

GiraffeInABath · 18/10/2023 10:50

Carrie Johnson sums this up for me, if you check her Instagram. Personally, I love it!

Fluffyc1ouds · 18/10/2023 10:52

I don't think I've ever come across this type of mum.

The ones around here who are well-off, go away every school hols and don't work usually do the school run in their gym clothes (because they actually have time to exercise) and their houses are immaculate.

The kids are usually dressed quite normally but their clothes will be good quality. They also aren't the 'ladies who lunch/get botox type'. From first glance you wouldn't know they were loaded.

SecondUsername4me · 18/10/2023 10:52

This js how I would imagine Dawn O Porter/ Chris O Dowd's family life being.

Kinda scruffy in a rustic, expensive way. Lots of roast chicken, scruffy dogs, dust in the corners of the rooms, barefoot kids trailing in and out.

KimberleyClark · 18/10/2023 10:54

Even if they have clutter they manage to make it look stylish.

evtheria · 18/10/2023 10:56

I call them 'Didsbury' mums (side note: I know a few from there who don't live like this, but it's def a general vibe). Chorlton mums are similar but dress more outdoorsy.

FikaMika · 18/10/2023 10:59

evtheria · 18/10/2023 10:56

I call them 'Didsbury' mums (side note: I know a few from there who don't live like this, but it's def a general vibe). Chorlton mums are similar but dress more outdoorsy.

Often seen in the wild at Dunham Massey 😉

QueenOfDuisburg · 18/10/2023 10:59

@evtheria I was about to say I think of them as 'Chorlton mums' 😅I know a few who live just like this. I think it's the combination of 'arty' clutter and big houses that makes it look good. My house is small and the clutter is mainly washing and shoes that have just been left for me to clear up!

whatkatydid2013 · 18/10/2023 11:01

I don’t think it’s exclusive to mums that don’t work or have loads of money. Plenty of kids friends mums have this vibe and are relaxed about clutter and a lived in look with lovely old furniture mixed with more contemporary items and nice artwork etc but they work and are not always on holiday.
I just wish I had the ability to put together pieces of furniture to look stylish. I end up with simple and bland stuff from IKEA 90% of the time as I don’t really know what I want or like anything enough to spend more on it

notquiteruralbliss · 18/10/2023 11:02

I've always worked but our house was like an extreme version of that when DCs were young. Unkempt but expensively educated DCs, houses hadnice 'bones' with beautiful cornices and fireplaces but were child battered and grubby with dogs, books, wellies and piles of horse stuff everywhere. I do think it stems from not giving a stuff what other people think.

AfterWeights · 18/10/2023 11:04

I arguably have elements of this

  • not short of money
  • my house is messy
  • i look quite messy
  • my kids look quite messy
  • i love a glass of red wine

However we are none of us cool, my house is not beautiful and the money comes from my job.....

AfterWeights · 18/10/2023 11:04

Oh and ive found increasingly through my 30s that i give no fucks at all what anyone thinks.

BristolBlueGlasses · 18/10/2023 11:05

How does it work out in reality though? There must be an endless scramble to find gym shoes, the milk must always be off and the dust on all that stuff must be an inch thick.

Ohyeahwaitaminute · 18/10/2023 11:07

AfterWeights · 18/10/2023 11:04

Oh and ive found increasingly through my 30s that i give no fucks at all what anyone thinks.

Try being in your 50s!
Its brilliant 😉

CanOfGerms · 18/10/2023 11:07

It’s just being posh

whatkatydid2013 · 18/10/2023 11:13

BristolBlueGlasses · 18/10/2023 11:05

How does it work out in reality though? There must be an endless scramble to find gym shoes, the milk must always be off and the dust on all that stuff must be an inch thick.

Because a lot of the time you know where the essential things you want all the time are regardless of the clutter and you probably have a cleaner that works around it

Ifailed · 18/10/2023 11:14

There must be an endless scramble to find gym shoes, the milk must always be off and the dust on all that stuff must be an inch thick.

Cleaner and Ocado orders.

AfterWeights · 18/10/2023 11:14

I've a relative in Chorlton, she is not really like this

AfterWeights · 18/10/2023 11:15

Because a lot of the time you know where the essential things you want all the time are regardless of the clutter and you probably have a cleaner that works around it

This - the important stuff is in fact super organised there's just a load of shite around it

SleepingStandingUp · 18/10/2023 11:15

CanOfGerms · 18/10/2023 11:07

It’s just being posh

Yes.

The working class version is
"Too many kids, at least two, sure they're lovely but they always look messy, like Mom didn't care what they put on. The house is alright but it's always messy and disorganised, she's got a few nice bits but it's always looked so "lived in". Mom's the same, usually disorganised and doesn't even have the decency to care, she doesn't even work. aibu to think this is neglect and I should speak to the school?"

Hiphopopotamonster · 18/10/2023 11:15

It’s a middle/upper class privilege. You can have your kids and house looking scruffy and messy when you’re not having to already battle against stereotypes that low income/working class families face. You can have your kids run around barefoot and not pristine clean when you’re not worried about having to prove anything to the school/social services/neighbours and have to very obviously show your kids are well cared for. Even the description you’ve given - a big expensive house is ‘cool’ when it’s a bit messy. Would you see a messy council flat in the same way? The whole thing is a massive privilege that you can afford when you have enough money and status not to have to worry what other people think.