to say mum or dad will need to take the day off

[lilyloleth]

I'm unwell at the moment. Suspect maybe covid. I'm very tired, feel nauseous, sore throat, blocked nose, coughing up suspicious looking stuff... blugh. Basically I feel like utter shit. I'm off work and have been since the start of the week. I can just about move from bed to the sofa and stay here most of the day apart from to drag myself to drop and pick up my toddler at nursery who so far seems to have avoided this plague!

DH is working until later on this evening. He has rang me this morning to say that older SS (12) is also now unwell and his mum was asking to drop him off here as she needs to go to work this afternoon.

I've said no unless DH is planning on coming home to look after him or his mum can take the day off.

Aibu saying either DH can come home or his mum can take the day off? DH is saying he can't come home and his mum is also saying she can't take the day off because they are understaffed.

I don't feel up to caring for myself let alone a sick child. And I may soon have a sick toddler to deal with too so need to rest whilst I can.

YANBU. You're ill. One of the other two capable adults needs to deal with this. They need to figure it out between them and leave you out of it.

What happened in the end?

I don't thanks 😊. It must be awful not liking your DH's children.

I'm not concerned. I've obviously touched a nerve.

You said you wouldn't look after the child because of the Mother. That's not the child's fault you don't get on with her.

What if she said yes this time and then no the next time?
You’d still be getting your knickers in a twist.

When you say “help out sometimes”, let’s face it you mean help out EVERY time don’t you?

People just wanna shoe horn women into the role of caregiver and martyr. All the time. It’s so BORING

@lilyloleth is it always mums day or is it split 50/50?

if it’s mums day as it’s shared care then yes she has to sort it not if it’s mums day always and dads says on or two days at weekend then no dad needs to step up .
He probably thinks it’s unreasonable of you to say no as you are a team and he’s asking you to help him out .

@lilyloleth what happened in the end

Lots of non step parents trying to tell actual step parents what their "role" entails here 😂

Of course YANBU OP, you can say no at any time for any reason. They are in no different a position to all other parents who have no choice but to sort it between themselves.

How did it turn out?

You mean you tried to goad. Knickers in a twist 🙄

YABU. Not sure what the hardship is in having a 12 year old sit on the sofa with you for a few hours.

Then that's yet another reason not to do it. Who wants to find themself marrying a difficult ex as well as taking on someone else's children? There are plenty of men out there who don't come with all this baggage. If you shack up with one who does, you've got to be able to put the child's needs ahead of your own.

This is what I thought.

Well I don't think it's nice to have the attitude they've already got two parents. I didn't get walked all over regarding my SC but I did help out. Then again so did their Mum's partner.

If you look at my post I edited it because I was going to type OTHER STEPPARENT so calm yourself down.

And I hope you was able to say no when something wasn’t convenient or ok for you. But then again that sounds like the type of attitude you’re against, so presumably you never once said no? In which case more fool you. The parents really have got you where they want you.

Or have you in actual fact said no sometimes? If so, why can’t OP? She’s ill. That might be something you might be able fine with if it was your dsc, but she’s not. She wants the parents to parent their child. I can’t find any sympathy for the parents anywhere.