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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DP has messed up the painting and thinks I'm over reacting for being annoyed

152 replies

Wouldyoube · 16/10/2023 21:53

I bought a tin of paint for the living room wall, a dark green (bottle green from dunelm to be precise) in a matt finish. My existing (magnolia) paint job is completely flat with no shine at all as was intended.

I opened the tub and took a tiny bit from the top of the lid onto a cutting in brush, in front of him, and did a little 2 x 2 patch just to make sure I was happy with the colour before he started. I was.

Long story short he didn't bother to mix the paint or even read the tin (even though I had already told him the type I wanted and the type I bought)

2 coats later the job is done and after drying every square inch of the wall has a shiny sheen, the opposite to matt.

Confused, I looked online and the verdict was that the paint can't have been mixed properly so I asked him if he'd mixed it and he said no, I asked why not and he finally said "I thought you did"

When was I supposed to have mixed the paint? I think he's just saying that to avoid owning the mistake anyway.

He got really defensive and said I'm over reacting by being annoyed, why would he need to read the tin before starting, there's nothing wrong with it, he has never heard of "shiny" paint being a problem and it's not as if the wall is crumbling down (?)

But am I being unreasonable to be annoyed? I have a hospital appointment on Thursday which I'm quite worried about so may be a bit more touchy than usual, I don't know.

OP posts:
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8
Littlemissprosecco · 16/10/2023 21:55

Oh dear, I guess you either have to live with it, or put another coat ( mixed this time) over the top.
Hope your appointment goes well.

Hankunamatata · 16/10/2023 21:55

But you took the lid off and painted a patch. I would have assumed that you had mixed it

Jelllytot · 16/10/2023 21:58

The defensiveness sounds so much like my DH. Why are men so defensive. What's going to happen if you admit you made a mistake.

Melodysmum12 · 16/10/2023 21:58

Yeah dramatic response!

musicforthesoul · 16/10/2023 22:00

I think I'd have just assumed it was already mixed/ready for use if I'd seen you open it and paint a test patch with it.

Can't one of you just do an extra coat to get the finish you want if it's that bad?

Threelionsandalioness · 16/10/2023 22:00

I would of assumed you'd have mixed it too if you'd had painted two patches with it before hand.

CurlsLDN · 16/10/2023 22:01

So he didn’t mix it

and you didn’t mix it

so in fact you are both equally to blame.
Or indeed you can both shrug it off as one of those things, mix the remaining paint, do another coat and forget about it. It’s honestly not a big deal and not worth getting at eachother about.

Almondmum · 16/10/2023 22:04

I can see why he thought you'd mixed it.

If you're painting a patch to check how it looks it would make sense to mix it first.

People tend to get defensive if they feel attacked. Sounds like you need to stop pointing the finger. It was an accident/mistake. We all make them sometimes.

CarpetSlipper · 16/10/2023 22:04

I’d have assumed you mixed it before you tested it and that you were happy with it in the state of mixedness it was in.
If it’s uniform all over then perhaps it’s just shiny paint?

Original poster
Wouldyoube · 16/10/2023 22:04

We're going to do another coat over the top tomorrow after a thorough stir and see whether that fixes the finish, it's just a PITA and I'm not even sure there is enough paint left so I may need to buy more.

It's not the biggest problem in the world it's just a bit shit, compounded by being made to feel like a lunatic for wanting matt paint to be matt 😐

OP posts:
TiptopTommy · 16/10/2023 22:05

There’s no point in fighting about this. Just figure out if you have enough paint to do another coat, and get another tin if not!

sweeneytoddsrazor · 16/10/2023 22:06

You did a patch test and said you were happy with it.

rwalker · 16/10/2023 22:06

Tbh when you’ve tried your best and even made a mistake there’s nothing worse than some smug person slagging it off who’s done nothing

why don’t you paint it yourself

Antst · 16/10/2023 22:06

I'd blame this one on the universe.

The paint was open, so it's reasonable he thought it was ready to go. I'm extremely careful and have a lot of experience with painting, but I can see myself making the same mistake.

It's also reasonable that you expected him to take responsibility for doing the job independently, without needing to manage him through it!

Go to the paint store and if you don't share finances, make him buy another pot since you bought the first one and he lives in the house just like you do.

Sometimes things go wrong and no one is really to blame. I think this is one of those situations, unfortunately!

FusionChefGeoff · 16/10/2023 22:06

I'd band together and blame the manufacturers! It's no-one's fault really, matt paint should be matt!

Original poster
Wouldyoube · 16/10/2023 22:07

CarpetSlipper · 16/10/2023 22:04

I’d have assumed you mixed it before you tested it and that you were happy with it in the state of mixedness it was in.
If it’s uniform all over then perhaps it’s just shiny paint?

It's definitely supposed to be matt as I've seen the finish and read the reviews from other people so it's either from the lack of mixing or it's a bad batch/tin.

OP posts:
Original poster
Wouldyoube · 16/10/2023 22:07

sweeneytoddsrazor · 16/10/2023 22:06

You did a patch test and said you were happy with it.

The colour yes. You can't judge the finish of matt paint until it's dry.

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ActDottie · 16/10/2023 22:08

why didn’t you paint it yourself? Also I’d have assumed it was mixed given you’d already painted some

VisionsOfSplendour · 16/10/2023 22:09

By mixing I assume you mean stirirng, why would Matt paint become shiney because you didn't stir it? Are you sure it's not a bad rin?

Notellinganyone · 16/10/2023 22:10

In my experience, and I’ve done a lot of decorating, the mixing or not can’t turn a Matt paint into one with a sheen. It might make it patchy but the finish is in the paint. Maybe your tester patch was too small for you to really tell. I also wouldn’t buy cheap paint - it’s a false economy ultimately.

Silvers11 · 16/10/2023 22:12

Notellinganyone · 16/10/2023 22:10

In my experience, and I’ve done a lot of decorating, the mixing or not can’t turn a Matt paint into one with a sheen. It might make it patchy but the finish is in the paint. Maybe your tester patch was too small for you to really tell. I also wouldn’t buy cheap paint - it’s a false economy ultimately.

I agree with this. Sounds like it isn't a Matt paint to be honest - and if it is definitely meant to be, it's a bad tin of paint?

teaandtoastwithmarmite · 16/10/2023 22:13

I'm with him on this

SkaneTos · 16/10/2023 22:13

I hope your hospital appointment on Thursday goes well!

Russoooooo · 16/10/2023 22:13

Wait. Not mixing properly can result in a shine? This might explain why my son’s room does not look how I expect it to!

Original poster
Wouldyoube · 16/10/2023 22:13

I can't get up on a ladder and paint because I'm ill and weak. If I could have done it myself I would have done. I do what I can.

Points taken on board that it's feasible for him to think I'd stirred it, although I'm not sure how he reached that conclusion as he was there the whole time.

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