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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is there anyone who WON’T be receiving an inheritance?

361 replies

PinkMoscatoLover · 16/10/2023 20:25

I’m not sure if it’s just me but sometimes I read posts and feel so out of touch! It seems like everyone and their dog on MN will receive an inheritance when a family member passes away.

Not one person in my family has a mortgage or owns their home outright. Those of pension age don’t have any pension savings saved up and rely on state pension (not too sure if that’s the correct wording as I’m not 100% on how it all works.) No one has any savings that they’ll pass on to their children/grandchildren/nieces & nephews etc.

I actually saw a comment on a thread that said, ‘can you ask your parents for an early payment that can just be taken out of your inheritance?’ Not everyone gets inheritance! Surely I can’t be the only one?

Just to add, this isn’t a post to say ‘oh boohoo look at me, I won’t receive anything when a family member passes away.’ It’s more a post to see if there’s other people on MN that have a similar family set up to mine!

OP posts:
HangingOnTillChristmas · 16/10/2023 22:54

Me.
My parents left everything to my two brothers because ' you have a husband to support you '. Any argument of whatever they left my brother's will be helping to support their wives, fell on deaf ears.
Then again, they were the parents who said that education is wasted on girls because all they do is get married and have kids and throw it all away.
Because a woman can't possibly have a family and a career can they!!!
All said while funding my brother's through university to have high flying careers.
Bitter? Me?

slowsundays · 16/10/2023 22:57

Me and DH.

ToddlerMama27 · 16/10/2023 23:01

I just hope that my parents will have enough life insurance to cover the costs of their funerals as I have no idea how I will afford it 😢 Hopefully it’s not something that I will have to think of for a long, long time but it is still very worrying and sad 😞

bluestar5 · 16/10/2023 23:05

I won't inherit anything from my parents. After my dad passed I asked my mum to remove me from her will (wasn't easy to convince her!) but I did it so that both my sisters can have a bigger slice which would make it possible for them to own their own houses some day. As I already own a home I didn't see any need for me to inherit money that could provide stability for them.

Crinkle77 · 16/10/2023 23:09

My mum has her own home and savings but if she ever needs to go in to care then there won't be anything left. I'm not expecting there to be either as me and my sisters will have to continue working until we retire and won't be able to give up work to look after her.

Lion1618 · 16/10/2023 23:12

Me. My parents are renters still after multiple bankruptcies during the 90s recession and poor business decisions. It's likely that they will both be working far beyond retirement age and I guess my siblings and I will need to pay for care for them once it reaches a point that they can't work.

followmyflow · 16/10/2023 23:13

definitely me! my family came from nothing. like i mean absolutely nothing. i dont mind! these are the cards i drew in life. id rather cherish my family while they are here tbh.

VerasRaincoat · 16/10/2023 23:14

My mother is rich but will leave it all to my brother because he’s the golden child. 🤷🏻‍♀️

capabilityfrowns · 16/10/2023 23:23

None here . Self made .

saythatagaintome · 16/10/2023 23:26

It saddens me to read many of these posts ;(

yes, we shouldn’t go about life expecting an inheritance, but honestly, is that fair? We didn’t ask to be here… and cost of living is only going to become more extreme.

My sister and I are lucky that we will receive an inheritance as is my DH and his siblings, so we feel the responsibility to provide for our children (any and all) since it’s being done for us.

I think it’s smart. I wouldn’t want to leave any of my children behind with nothing… I don’t think I would have them if I knew I couldn’t leave them something to make their lives a little easier.

Littlepinkstarsbyradish · 16/10/2023 23:32

I’ve told my mom to spend her savings (and only keep what she thinks she’ll need for care if she’s ill or moves into residential care/supported living)

unless they are very wealthy I think lots of people my moms age (65) feel a burden of responsibility to pass on money to their children that just spoils the retirement they worked hard for. My mom is even restricting her travel and putting as much of her pension away as she can

the gulf between the rich and not just gets bigger, don’t want my parents feeling guilty that they can’t “solve it” for me. Would much rather they just relaxed and enjoyed being retired after a lifetime of graft

123sunshine · 16/10/2023 23:34

My dad has written his will to leave everything to my children, so bypassing me, I have no siblings. His theory is that they will need the money more than I will do. Whilst he is no doubt right, it does hurt. I did inherit a modest amount 20 years ago from my mum however. You should never expect anything from anyone.

Mistressanne · 16/10/2023 23:47

The saddest thing about this thread is how many parents favour one dc over the other.
I can’t imagine ever being other than fair with my dc.

justjuggling · 17/10/2023 01:42

No inheritance for me either.

OnceUponARhyme · 17/10/2023 01:55

No inheritance here either.

I paid for my father’s funeral when I was on maternity leave (as did my my mum and sister).

My mum has is well housed but she does not own her own home. She has a small pension and we top her up every month. I feel so lucky to be able to do that!

I love my parents so much and I know that they would give me every penny they possibly could, but their lives (and in turn, their children’s lives) were interrupted and severely affected by a combination of geopolitics, illness and lack of support after immigrating. We look and sound white British, very few people would know. I love them both and don’t blame them one bit for not “providing” for me financially after they die. It has been a liberation in many ways and has left our family relationships pretty uncomplicated, without the jealousy or resentment that division of (someone else’s!) assets seems to bring. We all help each other out whenever we can. It’s lovely. My sister and I are undoubtedly now affluent but we know that can always change for reasons beyond our control, so we continue to plan for the worst and hope for the best. I can’t help but be a little disgusted (it’s a reflex) by peers discussing “inheritance” so openly when their relatives are still alive and/or without considering that not everyone will inherit. It is a bitter pill to swallow.

nearlywinteragain · 17/10/2023 02:07

I won't and I can't see DH getting anything much either.

dottieautie · 17/10/2023 02:07

My mum believes in blowing what shes got on herself while alive. I accepted at an early age inheritance wouldn’t be coming to me. My Dad remarried and it all goes to his wife and then their kids.

I never fail to be surprised at what people expect from their parents. Sure it would be nice but my kids also wont have anything from me. Not because I wouldn’t want them to but because I havent got a penny to my name.

KnowledgeableMomma · 17/10/2023 02:22

Me, too. Single mom, here. When my father passed away 4 years ago, my mom barely had enough to sell to pay for his cremation. She has to live with me because she has no income and now my meager paycheck is split between 3 people instead of just me and my daughter. I guess when she passes, the electric/water/trash bill will be lower......does that count?

Resisterance · 17/10/2023 02:32

Me. No home owners in my family ir extended family. Lots of hard workers just nowt to show for it and generations of being working class without any leg up.

I do get frustrated sometimes as all my friends will inherit or have already and occasionally there's a slight feeling that somehow I'm not successful because of this even though they've done nothing to earn it and just got lucky

RantyAnty · 17/10/2023 02:50

No, they had no assets.

givemeasunnyday · 17/10/2023 02:58

WorriedMillie · 16/10/2023 20:52

I’m not relying on anything, due to potential care costs!

Surely there comes a time when savings get down to a certain level when care home charges cease? I'm not in the UK, but I had an idea there was a sum people were allowed to keep, although I know it isn't nearly as generous as it is here.

HerRoyalNotness · 17/10/2023 03:01

ILs nope, they don’t have much and will leave to their GC if anything. My M will leave it to anyone but me 😂 money is her weapon. My dad probably unless he needs care, he’s not spiteful.

FieldsofAmberGrain · 17/10/2023 03:32

My Mother left her entire 250k estate to her favourite child which wasn’t me so my other sisters and I received zero. My Father left his small estate to DS of 15k.

DH Father left his estate to his favourite child again not DH and SIL received about 200k, MIL is alive and kicking and has left her estate equally between DH and SIL if it works out then DH will receive about 300k.

StoatofDisarray · 17/10/2023 04:02

Me!

McIntire · 17/10/2023 05:33

I did. I wish they had spent it and it makes me sad.
It remains untouched

It’s something that should never be expected.