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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

WWYD - Intervene or keep walking?

268 replies

StepInOrLookAway · 16/10/2023 15:27

Group of 9 kids, boys and girls, around 11 years old. One boy on the ground with 4 boys standing over him, at least one pushing down on him.

If you witnessed this would you intervene? If not, why not? Out of fear for your own safety? Would you alert anyone else? No judgement, just interested.

OP posts:
justasmalltownmum · 16/10/2023 23:08

Use loud teacher voice. Say "oi" and they all go running.

Georgeandzippyzoo · 16/10/2023 23:34

At that age I would but older teenager I'd probably shout, call police etc .
a younglad was stabbed and murdered by a 'pack' of teenagers near us. A friend was saying some men she knows , tough lads who are known to fight, went to see what was happening but recognised the danger of the situation and didn't dare intervene due to the pack mentality and number involved. Bloody scary x 😔

Triplixate · 16/10/2023 23:38

I’m a teacher so I’d be very confident in intervening in that scenario. In fact, I did once pull over my car due to something similar but it turned out the kid on the floor was just messing about (I knew him from supply teaching so was pretty confident that was the case!) Genuinely well done for stopping and helping.. as you’ve seen a lot of people don’t care!

Mumof2teens79 · 16/10/2023 23:42

Spend a few moments watching to see if it's genuinely dangerous or kids having fun. If I saw anything serious I would intervene

DevonDelight · 17/10/2023 00:01

Definitely intervene. Pick off the ringleader and walk straight up to them. Always works, in my experience.

SD1978 · 17/10/2023 00:22

Personally- yes I would intervene. Would I judge someone else for not- absolutely not. Some people have the instinct to intervene- and there are possibly consequences to that instinct, which in some ways makes you selfish (in my mind) you're not considering yourself, or your own family when you intervene, and what may happen to you if you do. Some people instead do think of their personal circumstances. I am an intervener- and afterwards, every time (not that it's happened that often) I think about the impact to my daughter and there is a moment of regret, along with thank feck it went ok this time. I would never judge anyone who has that moment first.

Latenightreader · 17/10/2023 11:52

A couple of weeks ago I did some active bystander training. It was excellent and talked about different ways to diffuse or distract. It was also about keeping yourself (and potentially people you are with) safe - you very much need to risk assess. Worth doing if you ever have the chance.

Tiredandhungryneedwine · 17/10/2023 18:02

Absolutely would intervene, no question.

SqueakyRadish · 17/10/2023 18:33

I would intervene. I've done it before.
My house is behind a road where kids walk home from secondary school, and I saw a very similar situation.
I went over and asked the kid if he was OK, he looked surprised and then laughed and said yeah.

So it turned out they were just dicking about, but I'm glad I checked!

NewName122 · 17/10/2023 18:36

This was me recently but they were a group of teens I started shouting and intervened and rang the police. They were stomping on heads and all sorts I couldn't watch someone be killed. Was awful.

Babybearissleeping · 17/10/2023 18:38

Was the child ok OP?

Saschka · 17/10/2023 18:45

I would and have intervened - just shouting “Are you ok over there? You don’t look ok. Do you want me to ring the police?”

Just showing you’ve noticed can often make people stop. Especially if you are in public, and look like the kind of person who might “snitch” - Ie a nosy white middle class woman. Obviously not in every case, but the times I’ve intervened, the aggressors gave me a mouthful of abuse but got back on their scooters and legged it.

I wouldn’t literally put myself between anyone though - too risky. I shout from across the street.

Ilovetravelling · 17/10/2023 18:46

I don't think I would intervene for fear of being attacked but I would definitely call the police.

Allthegoodusernamesareused · 17/10/2023 18:51

In exactly these circumstances, I've intervened. A group of kids surrounded one kid on the ground, they were kicking him. I ran towards them, shouting my head off. I'd absolutely do the same again. I also took some pictures and emailed them to the school, so they could identify the little shits.

maddiemookins16mum · 17/10/2023 18:54

Intervene. I’d maybe not if they were 16 🙁

amccabe15 · 17/10/2023 18:56

Intervene. But I worked with teenagers (and intervened 😂) so it would be an automatic response. Think these days I’d prob call 999 at same time though.

Jem57 · 17/10/2023 18:59

I would of and I have done.My son was set upon years ago by a gang from a different school coming home on school bus several people intervened to help him

Bubbles90 · 17/10/2023 19:20

I'd be in there like a shot. I couldn't possibly walk by whilst a child is being bullied. I've found myself jumping in-between two guys who were fighting on the London Underground, to break up the fight. None of the men on the tube would step in but as soon as I tried to stop the fight several men jumped in and pulled them apart.

greenbeansnspinach · 17/10/2023 19:22

I would, and have done, but understand that may not be something everyone feels ok doing.

Mummadeze · 17/10/2023 19:23

i would be too scared to intervene but I would call the police. I am pretty scared of gangs of kids though as I live in South London and they seem to have no real fear of consequences nor really place much value on staying alive.

Missingpop · 17/10/2023 19:25

Absolutely you can’t ignore some thugs being nasty that poor kid on tge floor would be looking to you as an adult to help him it’s a no brainer x

Ilovecleaning · 17/10/2023 19:35

Of course I would act. I would motor in, all guns blazing and sort the buggers out. But I am a retired teacher and I have no fear at all of 11 year old boys!

AnnieSnap · 17/10/2023 19:43

I would call 999 and tell the little bastards they were on their way and I was filming them!

Zerosleep · 17/10/2023 19:45

I would definitely intervene, I would ask what was going on. I would hope someone would do the same if it were my child.

Poodles23 · 17/10/2023 19:48

I’d start recording them on my phone and tell them I’ve already called the police so if they don’t want to be arrested they’d better leave now.