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Original poster

WWYD - Intervene or keep walking?

268 replies

StepInOrLookAway · 16/10/2023 15:27

Group of 9 kids, boys and girls, around 11 years old. One boy on the ground with 4 boys standing over him, at least one pushing down on him.

If you witnessed this would you intervene? If not, why not? Out of fear for your own safety? Would you alert anyone else? No judgement, just interested.

OP posts:
funkyspunkymonkey · 16/10/2023 15:51

Definitely intervene in my sternest teacher voice.

BurbageBrook · 16/10/2023 15:52

Obviously intervene. For those of you who wouldn't... don't you expect your child's teachers to protect them at school? In a similar situation they'd be duty bound to intervene and I think members of the public should do the same.

woulducouldushouldu · 16/10/2023 15:53

I was recently waking behind 4 boys around the same age. 3 were goading 1 to come out with them and nick some stuff from Sainsbury's. The 1 didn't want to and was
Saying that he had to go home. I piped "if he has to get home let him go home". Some lovely colourful language followed from the 3 (naice MC area N London) but the 1 took this an opportunity to walk off. The 3 let him be. As he turned a corner he simply said "thanks". I had thought not to intervene but was glad I did.

Nowherenew · 16/10/2023 16:01

Yes I’d 100% intervene, at the very least I’d shout to stop before I ring the police.

I was very shocked when this question was asked a few months ago and the vast majority of posters said they wouldn’t intervene.

Baffled1989 · 16/10/2023 16:02

I couldn’t walk passed that, poor kid!

SlipSlidinAway · 16/10/2023 16:04

I'd intervene. What did you do op?

Stompythedinosaur · 16/10/2023 16:06

Of course I'd intervene! I'm amazed anyone wouldn't!

The absolute bare minimum I'd expect of an adult would be to shout at them to stop and that you are ringing the police. Even if you aren't willing to get physically involved.

Mothership4two · 16/10/2023 16:06

Yes I would, but have been in similar or equally dodgy situations with my children in the past and didn't due to their safety.

I once got into my car in the evening and standing next to the next parked car along were a youngish couple. He was screaming insullts at her and saying "get in the F*ing car" and she looked very upset and just kept shaking her head. I really wanted to ask her if she wanted a lift somewhere, tbh I would have taken her anywhere to get her away from him, but as I was a lone woman in the dark with no-one else around I put my safety first. I don't think I made the wrong decision, but I still feel guilty about it and wonder what happened to her.

MaggieFS · 16/10/2023 16:06

I'm guessing your child was involved? I hope they're ok?

margotrose · 16/10/2023 16:07

Intervene, and have done in the past. DH also intervened recently when he saw a group of kids vandalising something on the street.

MidnightOnceMore · 16/10/2023 16:07

I'd observe briefly from afar to check if it was something unpleasant or play (I'm sceptical about 'horseplay' really), then shout, then phone the police whether they left or remained.

Zzizzisnotzeproblem · 16/10/2023 16:07

Definitely intervene.

crackfoxy · 16/10/2023 16:08

I would absolutely intervene! I would hope someone did if it was my child. If you couldn't for whatever reason then you must get help or shout loudly.

WhateverMate · 16/10/2023 16:10

11 years old??

Of course I'd intervene and I'd take a very dim view of any able bodied person who wouldn't/didn't.

Conkersinautumn · 16/10/2023 16:11

I'd intervene, but I am totally used to doing that. Outside school I'd see what I could do for the one on the floor. At school I'd get the instigators over to other staff. Fortunately I carry a whistle most of the time, most kids will pause if they hear one, which at least gives the one on the ground a chance. But so does a good confident "stop that right now", not shouted but from the stomach.

I've been kicked, punch and sworn at in school, because I will physically block children from attacking others. Ultimately most 11 year olds can pack a surprising punch, but I'd rather they landed on me.

MidnightOnceMore · 16/10/2023 16:11

MidnightOnceMore · 16/10/2023 16:07

I'd observe briefly from afar to check if it was something unpleasant or play (I'm sceptical about 'horseplay' really), then shout, then phone the police whether they left or remained.

Oh you asked why - I wouldn't physically intervene in the scenario you posted as no punching or kicking described.

I guess in my mind they'll scarper when I shout.

If it were more urgent I think I'd intervene more urgently. But I would call the police for a big group.

WhateverMate · 16/10/2023 16:12

MidnightOnceMore · 16/10/2023 16:07

I'd observe briefly from afar to check if it was something unpleasant or play (I'm sceptical about 'horseplay' really), then shout, then phone the police whether they left or remained.

Surely you'd go over and make sure the kid was ok?

Merryoldgoat · 16/10/2023 16:12

Yes - I’d take pictures, call the police and tell them to stop.

SallyWD · 16/10/2023 16:13

I am the least confrontational and least assertive person you can imagine but even I have intervened twice recently in two situations:

  1. a young lad aged about 14 was lying on the ground while two girls of the same age were kicking him with such force I was sure they'd cause a serious injury. Adrenalin pushed me forward and I just stood in the middle and shouted "stop!". They dispersed.
  2. a boy I know of 11 was on the floor while an older boy was punching him. I just lightly touched the older boy and said "leave him alone" In my experience kids (even big tough kids) usually stop when confronted.
OhmygodDont · 16/10/2023 16:14

Last time in intervened it stoped a bully getting a beating from a sibling of someone they were bullying, so I think I’d ask a by stander child first wtf was going on before minding my own or stepping in.

MidnightOnceMore · 16/10/2023 16:14

WhateverMate · 16/10/2023 16:12

Surely you'd go over and make sure the kid was ok?

Show quote history

Oh yes, of course.

hennaoj · 16/10/2023 16:14

Intervene, but if I had my dog with me I'd have a hard time stopping him from intervening! He hates anything resembling violence and will quite happily tell the perpetrator off, even if the victim is a complete stranger.

Kaill · 16/10/2023 16:15

I would not intervene. My responsibility is to stay alive to look after my own kids. I can’t afford to be attacked 9 against 1. One of them could have a knife.

Fionaville · 16/10/2023 16:15

At that age I would intervene, no question. I've shouted at a gang of kids of similar age before (for trying to destroy a litter bin) They just ran off. I think they rely on adults being scared to these days. I get there's knife crime and a risk involved, but the chances of an adult being stabbed to death, by a bunch of kids is still tiny.

Beezknees · 16/10/2023 16:16

11 year olds? Yeah, I'd intervene. 16 year old lads, probably not.