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AIBU?

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Original poster

Do most grown men know how to wipe properly?

181 replies

Fartymcnarty · 13/10/2023 18:26

I swear I’m not a poo troll, I don’t post often but this is really irking me!!! My partner often leaves “marks” on the sheets, even towels after he’s had a bath. He just went to the bathroom whilst I was in the bath (issue in itself) and he wiped once, put the paper straight in the toilet, wiped a second time- straight down the toilet. Was about to pull his pants up when I lost it!! I asked how he knows it clean!!!??? We’ve had this conversation before due to marks left etc! He sighed and said he’s a man! Sat back down and wiped and looked at the paper, 4 more times until it was clean! This is a deal breaker for me now! I seriously cannot be with a grown man who can’t wipe his own backside properly!!! Tell me this isn’t normal and is not a “man” thing? I have two adult boys, I taught them both how to wipe as part of toilet training so what the hell is wrong with him?!!

OP posts:
Sallysallyu · 14/10/2023 00:43

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Surely2023IsTheYearForMyRainbowBaby · 14/10/2023 01:01

Well there is an upside to this thread. It's stopped me stuffing down the bar of dark chocolate that I didn't actually need in the first place!!

uncomfortablydumb53 · 14/10/2023 02:06

That is revolting
Shit stains on the sheets!
Shitting when you're in the bath!
Absolutely not normal
He must know but doesn't care what you think
Just get rid of him, and sleep in sheets you know are clean
As for shitty towels.. No words

pinku22 · 14/10/2023 02:24

When my ex stayed over I would wash his clothes. One day I picked up his boxers which were covered in skid marks. I mean COVERED. He must have felt wet surely??? Gave me the ick and I left. Eew

Hamsterinaball · 14/10/2023 02:52

I am screaming with laughter at this thread, thankyou! Some of the comments are gold!

For the tuppence worth... my son who is 16 baths every single day and has bowel issues and wet wipes afterwards and is major clean which I am proud of!

So OP chuck this cretin! (If it's true).

rainbowsparkle28 · 14/10/2023 03:57

YANBU and not surprised it is a deal breaker. The fact it is left on towels and sheets etc. makes me want to heave - who wants to get into a nice shitty bed or from a shower all clean to then dry yourself off covered in shit?! 🤢

RantyAnty · 14/10/2023 05:07

Please don't be deleted!

I'm saving to read when I think about breaking my diet.

Bearcub101 · 14/10/2023 05:22

Admittedly I’m struggling to get over pooing in from of you, but what about using toilet wipes instead of just toilet paper? (Have a dp and 2 adult boys, never had skid marks on their undies or bed sheets/towels)

garlictwist · 14/10/2023 06:15

He went for a shit when you were having a bath?! I'm sorry but I can't get passed that but never mind the skid marks.

Subforsupper · 14/10/2023 06:19

This is not normal.
How did you end up being together with him? When you were courting did he not stink of poo? Or when you were getting intimate was there not brown stains on his underwear?

MaltesersMate · 14/10/2023 06:22

Even wiping only twice surely shouldn’t leave the area so bad that it’s destroying towels and bedding.

Knew someone who had this problem with her husband. She couldn’t understand it as he was scrupulously clean in other ways, literally scrubbed himself with next to boiling water showers daily.

Turns out he had been having anal sex for a lifetime since he was a kid in boarding school, by middle age, he had developed an anatomical issue that had left his sphincter unable to remain watertight, as it were.
It’s a well known issue to medical professionals in that field.

I’m not saying this is what has happened to your husband.

addictedtotheflats · 14/10/2023 07:00

Never in my 13 year relationship have I seen skid marks from my partner🤮 or witnessed him have a shit let alone wipe. Absolutely foul

Northernsouloldies · 14/10/2023 07:19

Not a man thing just an uncivilised dirty minky bastard thing. 😝

bobotothegogo · 14/10/2023 08:06

You're only 2 years in and you're having to deal with shit on the sheets and towels, and him shitting in front of you. And he thinks it's all no big deal! Urgh get rid.

MaltesersMate · 14/10/2023 08:32

Regarding health and safety, be very careful as there are some illnesses that can spread through faeces.

An adult should be doing their own washing anyway.

KimberleyClark · 14/10/2023 08:41

The skid marks on the sheets etc are disgusting. But I don’t see the big deal about taking a dump in front of each other. MyDH of 33 years sometimes needs to go very urgently - its residual effect of cancer treatment 10 years ago. He’ll go to the downstairs loo if he can but sometimes there just isn’t enough time.

namestevalian · 14/10/2023 08:43

LTB

Loubelle70 · 14/10/2023 08:46

44PumpLane · 13/10/2023 18:51

Two things.....

I hope you make him shower thoroughly before any intimate act if he's got poo bits floating about his pants.

Second....stuff like this always reminds me of that episode of Embarrassing Bodies where the guy often smelt of poo and the did loads of medical tests and the conclusion at the end was that MAYBE HE SHOULD REVISIT HIS WIPING TECHNIQUE!!!!! Bleurgh!!!!!

🤢

Loubelle70 · 14/10/2023 08:51

KimberleyClark · 14/10/2023 08:41

The skid marks on the sheets etc are disgusting. But I don’t see the big deal about taking a dump in front of each other. MyDH of 33 years sometimes needs to go very urgently - its residual effect of cancer treatment 10 years ago. He’ll go to the downstairs loo if he can but sometimes there just isn’t enough time.

Thats different kimberley.. health matters.
OP This though...is manky.
I couldnt have sex with him knowing hes got poo sticking around 🤢. I wouldnt mind coming in for a wee bit not a poo...a little bit of mystery gee.
Tell him to go buy wet wipes, i dry wipe, wet wipe, then dry wipe again

Loubelle70 · 14/10/2023 08:51

And him saying 'im a man' is an excuse to be a lazy fecker

Princesspollyyy · 14/10/2023 08:54

Fartymcnarty · 13/10/2023 18:26

I swear I’m not a poo troll, I don’t post often but this is really irking me!!! My partner often leaves “marks” on the sheets, even towels after he’s had a bath. He just went to the bathroom whilst I was in the bath (issue in itself) and he wiped once, put the paper straight in the toilet, wiped a second time- straight down the toilet. Was about to pull his pants up when I lost it!! I asked how he knows it clean!!!??? We’ve had this conversation before due to marks left etc! He sighed and said he’s a man! Sat back down and wiped and looked at the paper, 4 more times until it was clean! This is a deal breaker for me now! I seriously cannot be with a grown man who can’t wipe his own backside properly!!! Tell me this isn’t normal and is not a “man” thing? I have two adult boys, I taught them both how to wipe as part of toilet training so what the hell is wrong with him?!!

I couldn't be with anyone who came in the bathroom while I was having a bath to have a poo. And you were watching him? That's weird in itself? I can't get my head around that.

The wiping issue is bad, but so is this! Don't you lock the bathroom door?

Princesspollyyy · 14/10/2023 08:56

KimberleyClark · 14/10/2023 08:41

The skid marks on the sheets etc are disgusting. But I don’t see the big deal about taking a dump in front of each other. MyDH of 33 years sometimes needs to go very urgently - its residual effect of cancer treatment 10 years ago. He’ll go to the downstairs loo if he can but sometimes there just isn’t enough time.

That's completely different if it's for a medical reason.

If it's not, then it's unnecessary and weird.

Tessasanderson · 14/10/2023 08:57

Grim, grim , grim.

Can i ask what the rest of his family are like in general. As others have said, this is far from normal. Does his parents strike you as the sort who would toilet train their kids? I'm joking but i wonder how he would feel if you broached the subject with his mum. "Do you know you brought up a ds who cant even wipe his own arse?"

jeaux90 · 14/10/2023 09:02

I could not be with a lazy man child who can't wipe his arse properly. Absolutely disgraceful.

cakecoffeecakecoffee · 14/10/2023 12:29

I can cope with people pooing in front of me if needed - I’d prefer not, but if desperate then ok.

But not wiping properly is grim. We have both drilled into the kids that you always keep wiping until the paper is clean.