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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Do most grown men know how to wipe properly?

181 replies

Fartymcnarty · 13/10/2023 18:26

I swear I’m not a poo troll, I don’t post often but this is really irking me!!! My partner often leaves “marks” on the sheets, even towels after he’s had a bath. He just went to the bathroom whilst I was in the bath (issue in itself) and he wiped once, put the paper straight in the toilet, wiped a second time- straight down the toilet. Was about to pull his pants up when I lost it!! I asked how he knows it clean!!!??? We’ve had this conversation before due to marks left etc! He sighed and said he’s a man! Sat back down and wiped and looked at the paper, 4 more times until it was clean! This is a deal breaker for me now! I seriously cannot be with a grown man who can’t wipe his own backside properly!!! Tell me this isn’t normal and is not a “man” thing? I have two adult boys, I taught them both how to wipe as part of toilet training so what the hell is wrong with him?!!

OP posts:
Olika · 13/10/2023 21:02

I feel so disgusted. I wouldn't want him to touch me at all.

AnotherCountryMummy · 13/10/2023 21:04

On the sheets 🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯 I am done.

Stealthtax · 13/10/2023 21:07

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overthinkersanonnymus · 13/10/2023 21:07

Jesus fucking Christ. I'd leave the bastard.

My DH is the complete opposite and says he 'wipes till he bleeds' 😂

Iamacatslave · 13/10/2023 21:08

Poo stripes on your bedding?

custardcream3 · 13/10/2023 21:11

I can't believe you think anyone will relate to this, it's absolutely revolting. I've been married 27 years without either of us needing to use the toilet while the other is in the bath. Of course we know it happens, he saw me poo when I gave birth, both been ill and smells linger, but if possible we try and be respectful of each other, and keep that side of life to ourselves. Obviously we're comfortable with nudity and changing bodies but this lack of effort and respect is a deal breaker. I change the sheets if I bleed on them, we know about bodily functions but that doesn't mean we need to inflict them on each other if we still want to find each other sexually desirable. His state of underwear/ sheets is like dating a child and his emotional maturity to think you'd be okay with this would be a deal breaker for me.

LaBohemia · 13/10/2023 21:14

That's not normal it's gross.

Outside of Mumsnet I have not heard of so many men that can't wipe themselves properly. It seems to be a MN thing only.

rwalker · 13/10/2023 21:14

Tbf you can get caught out with a hairy hoop but doesn’t sound like he’s even making effort to check

itsallfunand · 13/10/2023 21:18

Oh my 🙊 I have seen some stuff on Mumsnet but this has to be worst.

There is no way I could share a bed or even live with a man who leaves skid marks on the bed sheets/towels, just writing this is making me feel sick.

defi · 13/10/2023 21:18

I was dating a guy until I saw skid marks in his undies. Got the ick and could never look at him the same again. Id rather be alone

DinoMummsy · 13/10/2023 21:21

Who the heck are the 5% who voted that having a shitty arsed man-child is normal??? 🤯🤯🤯

MyDogsPaws · 13/10/2023 21:21

The skid marks everywhere is one thing but I could never look at a man who came and did a shit next to me while I was in the bath again. I recently banned my 5 yo from doing the same thing as he’s now old enough to go before I get in the bath or wait until I get out. I absolutely wouldn’t accept it from a ‘d’h!

Munchyseeds2 · 13/10/2023 21:22

Can't believe that some think you are in any way unreasonable!!

Sallysallyu · 13/10/2023 21:31

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PrincessHoneysuckle · 13/10/2023 21:36

I have never seen a skid mark from dh in 10.5 years.

Spookymormonhelldream · 13/10/2023 21:36

Sadly I can totally believe this. ExH was seemingly unable to wipe his arse properly either. He blamed it on having a hairy arse crack. I kept telling him to keep going till the bog roll was clean but in vain. Anyway my fanny clamped shut and he's now an ex. Bleugh.

Prelapsarianhag · 13/10/2023 21:39

I have read some research that says 68% of men just shit and go - they fear that wiping their shitty bums might make them look gay. Just getting near their own arseholes in order to clean them apparently threatens their heterosexuality.

overthinkersanonnymus · 13/10/2023 21:44

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🤮🤮🤮🤮

Boundoverbyacat · 13/10/2023 21:48

Did he maintain eye contact with you whilst shitting?

Poppysmom22 · 13/10/2023 21:55

The first time there was poop anywhere he would be out the door. There's no way I could share a bed with this it's grim

Medlady · 13/10/2023 21:58

Leave the bas-turd

FelicityFlops · 13/10/2023 22:00

If their parents teach them how to wipe, yes, of course they are clean. The issue is, what do parents actually teach their children?

Perfectlystill · 13/10/2023 22:02

NotObligedToArgueWithStrangers · 13/10/2023 19:08

Pump dispenser of aloe Vera next to the toilet, tell the dirty bastard to use it. If you got dog shit on your hands, you wouldn't clean it off with just dry tissue. Why do we think it'll work on a hairy arsehole?

What on earth has aloe Vera got to do with it?

(This thread has had me laughing out loud!)

CallieQ · 13/10/2023 22:10

Fartymcnarty · 13/10/2023 18:26

I swear I’m not a poo troll, I don’t post often but this is really irking me!!! My partner often leaves “marks” on the sheets, even towels after he’s had a bath. He just went to the bathroom whilst I was in the bath (issue in itself) and he wiped once, put the paper straight in the toilet, wiped a second time- straight down the toilet. Was about to pull his pants up when I lost it!! I asked how he knows it clean!!!??? We’ve had this conversation before due to marks left etc! He sighed and said he’s a man! Sat back down and wiped and looked at the paper, 4 more times until it was clean! This is a deal breaker for me now! I seriously cannot be with a grown man who can’t wipe his own backside properly!!! Tell me this isn’t normal and is not a “man” thing? I have two adult boys, I taught them both how to wipe as part of toilet training so what the hell is wrong with him?!!

Not normal and not normal to while you are in the bath

Why do you put up with him

LadyLolaRuben · 13/10/2023 22:12

I'm just wondering how you're going to be able to have sex with him from now on?!