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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Do most grown men know how to wipe properly?

181 replies

Fartymcnarty · 13/10/2023 18:26

I swear I’m not a poo troll, I don’t post often but this is really irking me!!! My partner often leaves “marks” on the sheets, even towels after he’s had a bath. He just went to the bathroom whilst I was in the bath (issue in itself) and he wiped once, put the paper straight in the toilet, wiped a second time- straight down the toilet. Was about to pull his pants up when I lost it!! I asked how he knows it clean!!!??? We’ve had this conversation before due to marks left etc! He sighed and said he’s a man! Sat back down and wiped and looked at the paper, 4 more times until it was clean! This is a deal breaker for me now! I seriously cannot be with a grown man who can’t wipe his own backside properly!!! Tell me this isn’t normal and is not a “man” thing? I have two adult boys, I taught them both how to wipe as part of toilet training so what the hell is wrong with him?!!

OP posts:
Bananaman123 · 13/10/2023 19:35

My ex would wipe his arse on the towel after a shower and left shit, absolutely disgusting

mathanxiety · 13/10/2023 19:35

YYY to that, @MargotBamborough

Myhusbandearns150k · 13/10/2023 19:35

Hose him down in the garden and repeat until he gets the message.

Fartymcnarty · 13/10/2023 19:36

Wiping is not something that requires a handbook really is it?! Jesus!!!

OP posts:
Fartymcnarty · 13/10/2023 19:37

I have made many many comments in the hope it’ll sink in!! Doesn’t!! 🤷‍♀️wow I deserve better!!

OP posts:
blushroses6 · 13/10/2023 19:37

Life is far too short to be teaching a grown man how to wipe his bum. After the first skid mark, i’d of been gone, it’s so unhygienic. I bet he isn’t the one washing the skiddy sheets and towels either. Please can we stop letting some of these men get away with being so incompetent.

SacAMain · 13/10/2023 19:38

It's just disrespectful.

I mean, it's disgusting in the privacy of your own filth if you are single, but it's still a free country. No law against it.

Once you move in with someone, you show basic manners and respect. Anything else is not acceptable.

suzukili22 · 13/10/2023 19:40

As an ex nurse I can say this is 100% a man thing. A lot of men just don’t wash. They just stand under the water and think that’s it

Selfishlazyme · 13/10/2023 19:41

Never have I been more glad that I’m single 😷

coolkatt · 13/10/2023 19:42

sorry i'm pretty laid back but if my husband of 22 years came in and had a shit while i was in the bath we would seriously be split up.
that is gross. i mean manshit stinks and to actually watch a man squeeze that out his arse knowing the stench is away to hit u any second well honestly that's just gross.
and then to not even wipe it away so it goes on your bedsheets!!! oh wow seriously ur man need to get a grip should be ashamed of himself unless there is something stopping him but one for you to have already told him about this issue so he should have sorted it the first time he smeared ur bedding. then the fact he is still not wiping properly, does he want you to bend him over and clean his hole for him, oh i'd be scared to put my
hands anywhere down there in case they came back smeared i'm sorry op im glad u know this is not
normal and so maybe get him some flushable wipes or actually use his hands and water to clean his arse instead at least then u can get him to sit down without skids everywhere oh i hope he doesn't expect u to do all the washing either ooh god now i'm imagining the washing basket seriously he needs a stern talking to!

Gowlett · 13/10/2023 19:43

My DH does it. He leaves a trail of dirt behind him.
Shitting, peeing, shaving, showering, making tea…

Fartymcnarty · 13/10/2023 19:43

The marks, until now, I have let slide (no pun intended) as he does have IBS so I thought may be down to that (leakage possibly?) until I saw him wipe tonight!!

OP posts:
CaroleSinger · 13/10/2023 19:43

How is he leaving shit on the towel after showering? What is he washing his crack with? A lolly stick FFS?!

Moomoomo · 13/10/2023 19:44

That is truely disgusting. I bet he then expects you to find him sexually appealing.

I have never been aware of my dh leaving skid marks anywhere or not cleaning himself properly in over 10 years. I fact I can't think of it ever happening with any man I have been with.

RandomUsernameHere · 13/10/2023 19:45

That is absolutely not normal and neither is taking a dump while someone else is having a bath in the same room!!!

Letitgonowgr · 13/10/2023 19:46

The first time I noticed a poo skid on bed sheets or towels would have given me the ick. To sit and poo in front of you is just fucking vile. What a pig!!

Dweetfidilove · 13/10/2023 19:47

Heaven help me!

The men on MN would shut any vagina 🤮

AgnestaVipers · 13/10/2023 19:48

My DH does it. He leaves a trail of dirt behind him.
Shitting, peeing, shaving, showering, making tea…

And yet you stay with him?

Fartymcnarty · 13/10/2023 19:48

I think it has made my virginity grow back 🙄

OP posts:
321user123 · 13/10/2023 19:49

Coming from someone who was raised using a bidet (where it used to be common place to have one in every house), 🤮🤮🤮.

We don’t just wipe but wash too.

OP not to be dramatic… but if he can’t take care of n2 do you even trust him to have intercourse with? God know how that’s been treated 🤢🤢

VeridicalVagabond · 13/10/2023 19:49

That's disgusting. You have sex with this person? How? I think my vagina would seal itself shut.

And my husband has IBS and has never left a shit stain on our bedsheets, so that's absolutely no excuse.

321user123 · 13/10/2023 19:49

VeridicalVagabond · 13/10/2023 19:49

That's disgusting. You have sex with this person? How? I think my vagina would seal itself shut.

And my husband has IBS and has never left a shit stain on our bedsheets, so that's absolutely no excuse.

The fact that I just posted something along those lines lol 😂

cocksstrideintheevening · 13/10/2023 19:53

This isn't the first time I've read this on here 🤮

laidbacklife · 13/10/2023 19:54

My dog is cleaner than this. Seriously wtf?!

coolkatt · 13/10/2023 19:56

Fartymcnarty · 13/10/2023 19:37

I have made many many comments in the hope it’ll sink in!! Doesn’t!! 🤷‍♀️wow I deserve better!!

op u Waaaaaaayyyy deserve better. i honestly couldn't live with him and the fact he thinks this is ok. it's disgusting, get rid of him he has no respect for you, your towels or your bedding.