Dh going to get takeaway pizza when I already made pasta

[Chocolatewarerfalls]

Made pasta an hour ago for all of us, Dd (5) and I ate ours as we sometimes do before Dh gets home from work, I put a dish out for Dh for when he got home.
Im in the kitchen washing up, feeling full
and hear Dh come in, Dd comes running in saying we’re getting takeaway pizza, I say I’ve made dinner and we’ve already eaten though 🤷🏻‍♀️Dd starts crying and shouting how she wants takeaway pizza and daddy says we’re having it. Dh says he didn’t know I had made any dinner. Dd decides to be cheeky and says we’re getting pizza, Dh agrees with her and she shouts to me that we’re getting pizza.
Aibu to feel completely undermined here?
Its not about the pizza itself…or am I being petty?
Also bearing in mind that we’re trying to save money and I suggested getting a pizza maybe tomorrow night as I’ve made dinner for today and we’ve eaten ours and now feel full?

If someone else cooked dinner for you every day, would you really treat them like that?

I can’t get over the fact you ‘went nuts’ at your 5yr old. Grow up.

He's a grown man. If he feels like pizza he can order pizza.

This is not the hill to die on.

I’ve had this a few too many times. I now never cook or eat with DH he is fully responsible for all his meals. DC eats at his minders 4 nights a week anyway and will either eat what I’ve made or make himself a sandwich ( he’s a year older than your DD) The level of stress saved by not pissing about ceremoniously eating together has been huge. DH likes shitty beige food and I don’t, so when it’s takeaway night I order my Indian stuff and he eats (a whole pizza to himself) in separate rooms, watching separate films. Peace and quiet.

It wasn’t a ‘throwaway’ suggestion, it was a suggestion:

Also bearing in mind that we’re trying to save money and I suggested getting a pizza maybe tomorrow night as I’ve made dinner for today and we’ve eaten ours and now feel full?

So a grown man isn't allowed any agency over what he wants to eat? He's never allowed to want something different and has to force down food he doesn't fancy just because his wife made it for him? Crazy.

😳 Would you say you are happily married?

Same question to you.

If someone cooked you dinner every single day, would you really treat them like that?

If OP does the cooking every day and DH can't cook - which OP has told us - then isn't there a standing expectation OP will have cooked something?

My dad was an old-fashioned misogynist and my mum an old-fashioned housewife. Dad EXPECTED Mum to have cooked the dinner when he got home each night.

If Dad had ever walked in the front door and said "We're getting pizza!", it wouldn't have been because "I didn’t know you’d made dinner", it would have been because "I knew you'd made dinner, but I don't care about the work you've gone to, I fancy something else and my opinion is all that matters"

If a husband and wife have an arrangement that she makes dinner, then (unless he's checked beforehand) he doesn't have the right to waltz in saying "We're having pizza". The wife has the right to say "No, I've cooked something". If that's the wife disrespecting the husband I'm a banana.

Knowing full well she would have prepared food, couldn’t he just communicate with her?

Thats ‘crazy’…? OK…. 😳

It's not like it's a 6 course candlelit romantic dinner. It's reheated pasta for 1. So what if he puts it in the fridge and has it for lunch tomorrow.

It doesn't bother me in the slightest when dh does this.

Exactly @Randomness5277615

Can’t believe this needs explaining …

BTW am I the only one who thinks cold lasagna is totally OK reheated, but any other pasta is grim. I'd even say lasagna tastes yummy cold.

@Inkpotlover yeah. He’s alright. Pays the mortgage, good father. Gentle and quiet. Lots of nice qualities. We just don’t share tastes in food, entertainment, hobbies etc so if I wanna go see a band or order food I do it by myself. which is fine because I’ve always liked my space and independence so it’s a good match. We’ve been together a bloody long time and haven’t argued for many many years so we must be doing something right.

She wouldnt have cooked a takeaway pizza though

Ultimately you're either someone who tolerates/likes/wants to do things by rote, ie, the plan was for cottage pie/pasta and you have to eat that

Others are different, the plan was for cottage pie/pasta (it might already have been cooked) but I dont fancy that now.

Anyway I can barely see as my eyes have turned into a spinning wheel of pepperoni pizza

Never said he shouldn't have called, just said he's allowed to change his mind over what he wants to eat. Maybe he came in and saw the bowl of pasta that was plated up an hour earlier and thought, nah, that doesn't look appetising, because no pasta looks appetising left on the side for an hour. But according to you he should've forced it down?

@Inkpotlover
You've missed the point. Its not about her partner never being able to choose a takeaway for dinner. If you knew your partner was cooking for you that evening, would you not at least give them a heads up in the day that you wanted pizza in the evening? Wouldn't it be more considerate to let them know before they had cooked and eaten? The ops DH would have known what time his DD usually eats and that his wife cooks dinner late afternoon. Also her DH is perfectly able to learn to cook for himself, but it seems like he'd rather rely on his wife's cooking when it suits him

Sounds like you've got the perfect balance! (I am also watching TV in a different room right now because I don't want to watch what OH is watching!)

Is this one of those AIBUs where the OP isn't prepared to accept that some posters may say "yes" and take on board the alternative perspectives?

YANBU this thread is wild OP!
Respect aside when you're saving money you don't just get an unexpected takeaway. Those things are bloody expensive!
Knowing you'd eaten. How can he sit and stuff his face with a takeaway just for himself. So selfish.
Also if you usually cook how can he NOT know that you've cooked - dinner's usually served at the same time every night. It's not the sighting of a rare Pokemon.

Perhaps he didnt know he would fancy it later, perhaps he got an urge on the way home, perhaps he forgot himself, perhaps he didnt think, perhaps he blurted it out in excitement, perhaps he doesnt like reheated food sitting on his own, perhaps he thought he was suggesting something nice for his wife who might have wanted it

God almighty, it really doesnt warrant all the mountain out of a molehill.

.

I just honestly couldn’t give this any headspace. Mildly annoying, but no big deal….

Can’t understand why the pasta is going to be wasted!
mix the cold pasta with some tuna, sweetcorn, tomatoes, cucumber and mayo and have a cold pasta salad.
my lot love it and take it for their packed lunch!

Personally, I would give him shoe polish on toast for supper tomorrow, just because he has been such a knob.

Fine for him to come back from work saying "wooh, pizza". Not fine for him to realise that you and DD have already eaten, then carry on saying "wooh, pizza". What he should have said is "OMG, sorry - I hadn't realised you had made supper and that you'd already eaten - we'll all have pizza tomorrow, won't that be nice, DD?" (assuming you can afford it - and if you can't, that is a whole other can of worms and he shouldn't be suggesting it at all).

Of course a grown man can eat whatever he likes, whenever he likes. But not when it affects other people. Truly crap parenting from him here.

However, the person you should be 'going nuts' at, if that's the way you roll, is your husband, not your child, who is behaving just as any 5 yr old child would behave.

Even better, you could just have a conversation.