Dh going to get takeaway pizza when I already made pasta

[Chocolatewarerfalls]

Made pasta an hour ago for all of us, Dd (5) and I ate ours as we sometimes do before Dh gets home from work, I put a dish out for Dh for when he got home.
Im in the kitchen washing up, feeling full
and hear Dh come in, Dd comes running in saying we’re getting takeaway pizza, I say I’ve made dinner and we’ve already eaten though 🤷🏻‍♀️Dd starts crying and shouting how she wants takeaway pizza and daddy says we’re having it. Dh says he didn’t know I had made any dinner. Dd decides to be cheeky and says we’re getting pizza, Dh agrees with her and she shouts to me that we’re getting pizza.
Aibu to feel completely undermined here?
Its not about the pizza itself…or am I being petty?
Also bearing in mind that we’re trying to save money and I suggested getting a pizza maybe tomorrow night as I’ve made dinner for today and we’ve eaten ours and now feel full?

@bellac11 It was literally made less than an hour before and still pretty warm in the oven

Make food for herself

you’re just saying, can we please have it tomorrow night, since there’s good food already prepared tonight, and I also get to enjoy it tomorrow night.

That's how I see it also.

Your DH should’ve told her no because she’s already eaten. She shouldn’t be eating two dinners . Way to teach her how to get what she wants! Good luck with that as she gets older!

I can see this sounds irritating but really reheated or frozen and recooked pasta isn't dreadful. Not sure it why it would be so dry but a bit of butter or creme fraiche or pesto in it would be fine - Please don't throw it away in a moment of irritation. If you can , freeze it. - it works .

Never come on here and ask for opinions on your domestic spat. It will only make you feel much, much worse.

Tell him he’s on dinner for all three of you tomorrow evening.

He is the child's father and is entitled to make decisions about her too. Sounds to me like he wanted pizza and as part of the pizza fun, the child went to collect the pizza with dad. Its not her double dinner, she might have a small amount, she's 5, shes not going to be sharing half a mega pizza. She'll probably have a bit and then go to bed nice and full up

Talk about missing the point.

so by that point saying no to her caused an almighty meltdown

Not the point I know but you really can't give in to a 5 year old because they don't like the word no! You're gonna cause real problems for yourselves in the future and now in fact if:

You don't say and stick to the word no

You let a 5 year old play you off against each other!

This isn't about pizza this is about him undermining you as a parent. You both need to be on the same page re any disciplinary matters

Dd was hungry and asked to have it early

Wow! Sounds like you may be letting dd run the family/house! THAT needs nipped in the bud but quick!

My dd an adult now, if she had spoken to me like that she'd have been sent straight to bed and I'd have expected a sincere apology once she calmed down/the next day. Totally unacceptable behaviour.

Are you also going to bed very early with said 5 yo?! You've said no but I have to say I'm not entirely convinced given the original wording and other comments.

You're also all far too precious about leftover pasta! Perfectly acceptable and safe to eat the following day, cold or reheated even "zhuzhed up" with maybe some extra grated cheese, herbs etc

Sounds like they both take turns to go to bed at the same time as dd every night. So uve a feeling the 5yo regularly gets their own way. Absolutely! It's ludicrous!

pasta is vile the next day-in our house at least-dry and awful-no one will eat it

Am I the only one wondering how on earth op makes pasta?!

Exactly that, I’d we waited for Dh to get home and cook we’d be waiting a long time, my child would be hungry, plus he can’t cook

As several have suggested the child could eat earlier alone, or she could have a more substantial but healthy snack to tide her over until dinner time. As a Scot I was raised we got soup and bread when we got home from school maybe salad/sandwich in summer and I did the same with my dd sometimes although I was mostly a lone parent.

There's a lot of miscommunication, lack of agreement on how to parent and allowing a 5 yo to rule the roost here!

This needs a serious sort out - pizza and pasta fussiness aside.

He can't cook? I'd say time he learned now he's a father! How's he going to manage if you are ever incapacitated or worse? It's a basic life skill! Perhaps he can learn alongside your daughter she's actually old enough to start learning too, including the fact that it's not on to waste food, financially or environmentally.

And when it's served tell him you'd rather a takeaway 😁

Sorry OP but you contradict yourself in virtually every post

You said in another post you felt disrespected because your opinions werent taken on board, but that would have inevitably meant that your OH couldnt have a pizza, because otherwise pizza will naturally mean your daughter gets a bite/nibble/slice whatever. So they're not 'opinions', they are your expectation that no pizza is got at all and thats not what you're now saying

If you cant afford it tonight, you cant afford it any night so saying it would be ok tomorrow doesnt make sense and as others have pointed out it wasnt your plan anyway

As for your vile pasta the next day I dont know what to say. Pasta you've just eaten and fed your daughter now, fine. Pasta left out for your OH when he gets home later, fine. Pasta 12 hours later - vile? How so?

And who cares if in all the ‘pizza fun’, the OP - the one who cooks for the family day-in-day-out - misses out?

And now, instead of getting a night off tomorrow, has to either cook, or nag him to.

Genius!

OP - do this.

Pasta will be soggy next day.

Perhaps some of your expectations are unnecessary, so you literally are the bad cop.

Anyway, you are unreasonable, I cant eat pizza at the moment, I may never be able to eat pizza again and that is all I can now see in my minds eye, a great big massive deep cheesy, steaming pizza.

Thanks for that.

@bellac11 Oh take your own issues elsewhere, don’t apply them to my situation, go on another post.

He didn’t appreciate you making dinner. Didn’t even check with you. He’d rather have greasy takeout pizza instead of home cooked dinner? He is foolish! You went to the trouble of cooking, that would make me upset too. Plus, pitting dc against you. He should have said to dc, (if he were smart), “Your mother already made dinner? Of course I’d rather have that! We can do takeout pizza tomorrow. Thanks honey, for cooking. I’m sure it’s good as always.” Hugs. Relationship on good terms. Win/win

Some people start trouble for no good reason and your husband is one of them 😂

It's just pizza. Seems a massive overreaction. A grown man is entitled to choose what he wants to eat and if your DD has a piece of pizza after her dinner, will the earth stop spinning?

Please do this, Op, and report back. This would drive the point home quite nicely 😂

cant believe 5yolds behaviour is being highlighted as issue! Dont put your nose-outta-joint on her! shes only
5 daddy calls pizza/mama calls the shots(otherwise and negatively)- you gony get a reaction.
hed be the worst cnut -if he bounced in,told her they were then ....didnt.
ITS not her fight. If daddy has any sense-he will reappear with her and have her apologise for yell atchu.

She didnt have to miss out, she didnt want the pizza herself

She wasnt going to have a 'night off' tomorrow night, there was no advance plan for them to have a takeaway tomorrow, this is something she put out there as a throwaway suggestion and posters have made it up for themselves that OP had planned to have a takeaway tomorrow

For others saying that he has undermined her and they need to be on the same 'page', OP doesnt appear to be on his page, why do her rules, rule?

Back to the OP as the Don.

If you know someone is cooking for you in the evening, it's basic courtesy to tell them in advance you don't want any because you'd rather get a takeaway. Saves them making extra for you, also gives them a chance to decide whether or not they want a takeaway too before cooking and eating.
I'm pretty sure the op's DH knows his DD eats dinner earlier. It was stupid and inconsiderate to come rushing in talking about pizza

Nothing more deflating than cooking dinner then told takeout pizza is a must 😨 that is not very nice of him.

My god it was a joke

You literally are the bad cop! No wonder its all kicked off at home, have some humour, jesus.

Exactly my thoughts. One off.. OK.. all the time.. words to be had

Yab a bit U.
Loads of times I'll have made cottage pie or whatever and dh might not fancy it so we have it the next night