Those with high pressure jobs, what was worse, maternity leave or the job?

[Desupi]

First time mum here due in March and very clueless! I work as an Executive Assistant to a high profile indivudual. Don't get me wrong I do like my job most of the time, but it can be highly stressful too.

I keep seeing all these posts on social media about how being a new mum is depressing, exhausting, you lose your identity etc, and it is making the whole thing quite daunting. However, I will have 9 months off work and think to myself how nice it will be to spend time with my baby and not have to think about work at all.

I appreciate that as I have never had children before I likely have no idea what is coming. But i guess what I am looking for is for some opinions on how you found maternity leave?

It’s ridiculous to say ‘why did you have children in the first place?’. Maternity leave with a small baby is a tiny snapshot of the long and very varied journey of having children and experiencing parenthood. Parents are people who are allowed to feel however they feel about any period of their lives.

And to add the obvious: no can can possibly know how they will feel about maternity leave until they are experiencing it. There’s no basing the decision to have children on that – nor should they.

It's no fun parenting a new born and maternity leave is not a holiday. Still you've got to try and enjoy each phase of your life. Going back to work with a toddler is tiring and requires adjustment but it's nice to get back into adult company and get time to be you back.

After the initial, ‘Now what?’ panic of being a new mum, I settled well and LOVED maternity leave. Hated going back to work (teacher) and loathed leaving DC for the first 8 years! I’d have sold my soul to be a SAHM.

High pressure finance job. 60 hours a week norm. Maternity leave was the hardest thing I'd ever done (and I'm ex navy!). My son cried every minute he was awake, never slept more than 45 minutes at a time. Then going back to work at 8ms was nearly the death of me. Some days I'd be awake for 72 hours straight. I was hallucinating. Losing my mind.

Gosh I’m surprised at the judginess here! If you loved mat leave, good for you, I can understand how mat leave can be wonderful. But please don’t be so dismissive and nasty to women with different experiences.

I didn’t find mat leave to be a holiday, I found it very boring. I couldn’t afford to go and do much at all, so yes I was stuck at home, with no support, lots of other responsibilities, and a husband working v late everyday.

The best words to describe my maternity leave are lonely and bored. I’m returning to work in a couple of weeks and I don’t know how to feel.

I loved maternity leave and it was much easier than work. But I had a very easy baby and was very experienced in babies beforehand so knew what to expect. It was easier than I thought and much more enjoyable and rewarding. We didn't live bear family when I had dc so I threw myself in baby groups and met lots of friends. I appreciate not everyone would like this but it really enhanced my time off.

I loved maternity leave but I really don’t think anyone who doesn’t is a heartless monster who shouldn’t have become a parent.

For one thing, people’s experience is very circumstance specific - where you live, whether you have a network, how much money you have, access to transport, etc, etc.

Also, some people just aren’t baby people. I personally love babies but my DH freely admits the baby stage isn’t his favourite - he finds it mostly boring and monotonous, he enjoys parenthood from about 18m+, and sees the baby stage mostly as something you need to ‘get through’ to get to the fun bit.

I think that’s fine because all parents have ages and stages they prefer - the baby stage is a tiny part of parenting. If anything I think it’s better to be that way round rather than being one of those people who’s obsessed with babies and small children and can’t come to terms with it when they grow up.

But for some reason I think while men can freely say they aren’t baby people, there’s more of a stigma about women who say it.

I would still go back to work tomorrow. My 7 week old spends more than half of her awake time crying despite being fed, clean and held or played with. Would rather be back at work to be fair!! So yes, Mat leave harder

I think there's something really painful about leaving your child in order to look after other people's. Personally, I found that rather heartbreaking when mine were little and I was back in the classroom.

I'm in a professional role, high pressure. Absolutely bloody loved maternity leave. Could have stayed at home with her full time and not gone back. Then I went back and discovered how nice it is to have a break from childcare, my thoughts to myself (not singing constant nursery rhymes and narrating everything I'm doing!) and the utter joy of picking my daughter up at the end of the day, seeing her grinning and running into my arms.

It very much depends on your personality and your baby's disposition, but it's entirely possible to love mat leave and also really enjoy going back to work too.

Well, I was about to post but you've summed it up perfectly!

Loved maternity leave. Don't mind working.

For me, the first 2 weeks were basically hell with both babies and then after that there was no question mat leave was a ton easier than my job. My favourite point was around 3-4 months before they start moving and weaning and I just had a lovely time going to baby massage and having coffee with friends.

I worked in a high pressure job that I loved for 9 years before having my baby.
You are being really rude to question people's mental aptitude and showing yourself to be really small minded.
I absolutely adored spending a year with my baby, the bond, the closeness, watching them literally change in front of my eyes every day.
Yes at times it was tiring and a slog but it was NEVER boring.

Best time of my life! Loved it. Took 5 years off and had the most amazing experiences and met the most fantastic people, I loved being able to be part of my local community more and most of all time with my beautiful boys watching them grow.

I was bored out of my ever loving mind so went back to work when DC was 3 months. He's 10 months now and getting more and more interesting but I absolutely need to work too, I couldn't imagine not going back until around this time.

That's easy, because I wanted a child and to have a child, they have to start out as babies.

It's perfectly normal to not enjoy every minute or to dislike some stages such as the baby stage.

My maternity leaves were the best years of my life. I have a really stressful corporate job (which I love) and prior to going off on maternity leave I thought I’d hate being away from the office but it turns out it was joyous!

Sec school senior leader. Maternity leave was a breeze in comparison- about 10% as hard. My baby was also far more reasonable than many of the colleagues I had to deal with…

It was bliss and so relaxing

It depends on the child.

The first was hungry. You know how cows die early from the strain. I felt like shit all day every day for 11 months. Work was a relief.

The second ate less. I could produce enough and felt ok. Didn’t want to go back. Weight didn’t just fall off this time though.

I loved maternity leave. Helped I had an easy baba

Personally, maternity leave. I had six months off and couldn’t wait to get back to work. My job is stressful and demanding and I like it that way. I need to have my brain challenged consistently to be happy. My career is the most fulfilling thing in my life, although it’s not the done thing to admit that!

I think I ‘enjoyed’ maybe the first two or three months, while I was recovering from a very traumatic birth experience, but it’s probably telling that I only have one DC! I couldn’t imagine doing it again.

Social media loves to highlight content from mums who say mat leave is the worst thing ever. I don't know why it's become fashionable to complain about how hard it ie looking after a newborn. It's a joyful blessing many people don't ever experience. And I personally think newborns are the easiest age to deal with.

Mat leave was the best time of my life and i had a stressful job i was more than happy to have a break from. My job now is better but way less stressful and i'm still looking forward to my second mat leave. It's an amazing time regardless of how demanding your job is - that's if you actually want to be a parent. If not then it doesn't matter what your day job is like by comparison as you likely won't enjoy it.

I found being home easier. No target, doesn't matter if you're late, choose what you do for the day. I did routine as I knew I was back at work soon. Only took 4 months first time & 6 months second time.

I would have loved to stay off for baby & toddler years & not be stressed about getting to work on time, working all evening.

I'm a teacher & think it probably depends on what you do.