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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think any parent would do the same? Or am I bonkers

803 replies

Doritosandsourcream · 11/10/2023 08:02

On holiday in the buffet eating dinner all I could hear was my son crying walking from the bar with his juice in his hand. I thought oh maybe he fell over so DH went over to him. Turns out that this little girl that has been picking on him for the past 2 days her dad has grabbed DS and twisted arm so tight he broke his skin and dug his nails into him. (German family)

DS has been coming to me about her saying she keeps pushing him and sticking her fingers up since they arrived. DS finally got annoyed and pushed her back earlier on in the day and she told her dad. So dad got his own back on DS.

I ran over to DH as he was shouting at the dad and the dad was just smirking and something just came over me and I punched him in the face.

Never in my life have I punched anyone and I didn’t think about the consequences at the time I just kept looking at my son he was in flood of tears.

It was the weirdest feeling I have never felt adrenaline like it.

aibu? How would you have handled it? The hotel did absolutely nothing.

OP posts:
Funkyslippers · 11/10/2023 08:07

I definitely wouldn't have used violence. I probably would have called him a fucking arsehole though

Didimum · 11/10/2023 08:09

I would absolutely understand the urge to, but no - this is completely unacceptable. You assaulted someone. Yes, the man assaulted your child, but what exactly are you trying to teach your son? That you just go and punch people? You should have demanded to speak to hotel management and security about an adult’s attack on your son, and even asked to make a police report.

I don’t see why it’s relevant to inform us that they were German.

LemonPeonies · 11/10/2023 08:10

Yes I would. Well done

berksandbeyond · 11/10/2023 08:10

You let us know the hotel? I’d like to avoid it if this is the calibre of the guests

CallieTR · 11/10/2023 08:10

If an adult grabbed my child so hard they broke the skin, I would have gone to reception in the hotel and asked them to phone the police. Same as I would if someone grabbed me that hard in that situation.

I can empathise with your anger but responding with violence yourself means you lose any power in the situation.

CesareBorgia · 11/10/2023 08:10

What did the man do after you'd punched him?

LadybirdLover · 11/10/2023 08:10

No, you’re wrong. Showing your son that you should assault someone if they wrong you is an awful message to send.

You should be ashamed of how you acted and be explaining to your son violence is not the answer.

NoMor · 11/10/2023 08:11

None of us know what we'd do when the adrenaline is pumping but what you should have done was call the police, assaulting a child is usually treated very harshly.

TheShittas · 11/10/2023 08:11

I would have done the same.

He used violence on a tiny child!!

My husband would have battered him tbh and he's never been in a fight in his life.

GrazingSheep · 11/10/2023 08:11

What happened next?

PurpleRadish · 11/10/2023 08:12

Well done for defending your son.

margotrose · 11/10/2023 08:12

Classy 🙄

No, I wouldn't have punched a random stranger in the face.

Original poster
Doritosandsourcream · 11/10/2023 08:12

They left right away went back to there
room so many other families wanted them out. The hotel did absolutely nothing it was shocking as if they didn’t know how to handle a situation like that.

OP posts:
arethereanyleftatall · 11/10/2023 08:12

TheShittas · 11/10/2023 08:11

I would have done the same.

He used violence on a tiny child!!

My husband would have battered him tbh and he's never been in a fight in his life.

Op hasn't said her child's age. He might be 3. Or he might be 17.

JustPretend · 11/10/2023 08:13

Jesus, you punched a guy at a hotel buffet?

Fuck me.

BerriesNutsConkers · 11/10/2023 08:14

I would have called the police!

Sadly, you just made the situation worse.
I also don't understand why you weren't supervising your son more closely knowing he was having an issue with another child.

Original poster
Doritosandsourcream · 11/10/2023 08:14

I wasn’t bothered about being classy to be honest so many things were flicking the light my mind.

OP posts:
Desecratedcoconut · 11/10/2023 08:14

Honestly? I know what I should say but I can totally imagine struggling not to do the same. How did he react when you hit him?

Blackcoffee1 · 11/10/2023 08:14

You should have phoned the police on him.

Now he can phone the police on you, so you’ve lost the moral high ground really.

MidnightOnceMore · 11/10/2023 08:14

I hope I would have phoned the police, not punched someone!

The man assaulted a child.

This is an extremely unusual situation.

Original poster
Doritosandsourcream · 11/10/2023 08:14

Sorry DS is 6.

OP posts:
ASCCM · 11/10/2023 08:15

Would I have punched a stranger , because my kid was crying?

of course not! I’m a rational adult.

All you have taught your kid is it’s ok to have no self control and violence is the answer. Yuck.

Lorelaigilmore88 · 11/10/2023 08:15

You shouldn't have punched him. Its not a good idea to show your son that sort of thing is acceptable.
However none of us are perfect, and we get primal when our kids are hurt so i totally understand why you did.
What happened after you punched him?

RufustheFactualReindeer · 11/10/2023 08:16

arethereanyleftatall · 11/10/2023 08:12

Op hasn't said her child's age. He might be 3. Or he might be 17.

Show quote history

From the post he is obviously on the young side and not 17

i agree with others, you should have taken the high road and reported him to the police, but i also agree that with emotion running high lots of us don’t know how we would act in the same situation

Caerulea · 11/10/2023 08:16

I cannot imagine the fury I'd have have experienced, or what I would have done. Pretty sure DH would already have lumped him by the time I got there though. It's all very well being sanctimonious about these things but he just assaulted your child. A full grown man!

You did what you did in a very unusual situation. I certainly wouldn't lose any sleep over it.