To think any parent would do the same? Or am I bonkers

[Doritosandsourcream]

On holiday in the buffet eating dinner all I could hear was my son crying walking from the bar with his juice in his hand. I thought oh maybe he fell over so DH went over to him. Turns out that this little girl that has been picking on him for the past 2 days her dad has grabbed DS and twisted arm so tight he broke his skin and dug his nails into him. (German family)

DS has been coming to me about her saying she keeps pushing him and sticking her fingers up since they arrived. DS finally got annoyed and pushed her back earlier on in the day and she told her dad. So dad got his own back on DS.

I ran over to DH as he was shouting at the dad and the dad was just smirking and something just came over me and I punched him in the face.

Never in my life have I punched anyone and I didn’t think about the consequences at the time I just kept looking at my son he was in flood of tears.

It was the weirdest feeling I have never felt adrenaline like it.

aibu? How would you have handled it? The hotel did absolutely nothing.

I see your point but it's not that deep, or an issue as far as im concerned.

She's retelling the story. A German man hurt her child. If the police came and asked her about the incident, imagine skirting round describing him, if you couldnt "label" him!

Also, this is MN, so you just know if she hadn't "labelled" him, someone would be on saying "maybe it's cultural differences, maybe he's ND, maybe he had a bad childhood".

I have never hit anyone. Neither has my husband, or my adult kids. It’s a different world out there. I get the provocation but I wouldn’t have hit this idiot in a million years.

DS has been coming to me about her saying she keeps pushing him and sticking her fingers up since they arrived.

What did you do about it when he told you?

The hotel did absolutely nothing it was shocking as if they didn’t know how to handle a situation like that.

I used to work in a hotel when I was a student. I'm not sure any of us would have been prepared for handling brawling families. Hopefully there wouldn't have been any such situation.

My suspicion is that you'd have been asked to leave after punching someone in the face in the dining room.

Thank you. Not really, I'm just a normal person who reacts the way 90% of people in the real world would react in this situation. I'm more interested in sticking up for my children than professing my luxury beliefs to make myself feel superior.

Try hitting a random child in a playground and see if their parents turn the other cheek.

Shouldn't your son be at school?

No. Punching someone is not acceptable, a bad example and I'm surprised the hotel didn't kick you out

I'd have booted him in the fucking balls. Bastard.

He injured your child. Twisted his arm until it was a visible injury.

If it was my son, it wouldn’t have been me that punched him it would have been my husband before I’d gotten to them.

Actions speak louder than words.

You have shown him to react with violence, so that’s what he’s going to take from this. Not some hurried words after the event in a hope to fix your wrong.

Sorry- how did he break the skin? And why does his nationality matter? And no I wouldn't. I

@44PumpLane

an arm twist would not cause broken skin. I suspect it was a pre existing injury. I imagine the boy felt humiliated by being told off - probably a new experience for him - and wanted to give his parents something to react to.

My kids are now adults and as children did not go around bullying and pestering others. So I have never been in the situation where another parent felt compelled to intervene.

Yes young kids can have some independence but not to the extent that they are out of sight for more than a few seconds where they are then allegedly attacked by an adult for no reason.

This is exactly why we have so many violent men, and little boys growing up thinking violence is acceptable.

Awful fathers who can’t control themselves.

Why didn’t you keep your son close to an adult you at all times if he was complaining about being bullied?

maybe they do things different to us. Over here we would go talk to the parents

So why didn’t you instigate a conversation with the German family if this had been going on for days?

Nope I wouldn’t have hit someone.

Where were you? It sounds like a place to be avoided at all costs.

If it came to the police then saying 'he was German' might matter if they were trying to identify him from within a group of people which included lots of nationalities/non-Germans.
Telling us he he was German doesn't add anything to her little story though. It's not relevant.

I agree with your stance @SirCharlesRainier

My dad (a long time NC now for various reasons!) failed to stand up for me in a playground. A man (with his 2 kids) had pushed me off some equipment believing it was his kids' "turn", I was left hanging on by my legs above concrete, obviously screaming because at that age I thought if I fell on my head I'd die. 🥴
My dad told him off and the man laughed, he did actually walk to the nearest police station and the police came out, but by that time the man had obviously left and I was left feeling completely let down and scared that my parent would basically do nothing to protect me.

sigh.
Germans aren't all strict, they are the same as all other parents: some performative, some PFB, some over strict etc etc

They generally don't put up with shit from other people's kids though.
So I'd prefer to know the exact unfolding of events: your son is 6, why didn't he shout when the guy grabbed him? why didn't he tell you that right away? if your DH was "handling" it, why did you feel it necessary to throw oil on the fire, and not take your DS away to check him over? How old was the other child? had your DS been annoying her and you'd done nothing to stop it? There is a whole lot of back story.

But your sneery "oh Germans" is bollocks and you know it.

And tbh, you should have called the police. Who knows what might have gone on before.

Good grief. I imagine this all happening in Benidorm.

Did everyone clap after?

@warum we will have to agree to disagree.

People describe others ALL THE TIME, whether it's relevant to the story or not.

An English person doing something to someone else abroad, would be described as "the English one" when someone was retelling a tale. It's just what people do.

If anyone thinks police abroad (I'm guessing this was abroad) would have given two shits about the OP ringing then they need a reality check.
Everyone saying they'd have taken the moral highground after a fully grown man injured their six year old? Nah.

My husband would have decked the guy before I got there in our situation.

CurlewKate

And why does his nationality matter?

Apparently because all Germans are "strict and tough":

Over here we would go talk to the parents it would be rare for an adult to attack a 6 year old in the uk. I know Germans are quite strict and tough that’s why I added it in. (Cultural differences)

So, in the UK we'd have talked to the other parent...
Except OP didn't talk to the other parent to find out exactly what happened, she went over and thumped him.
Presumably the non-British families there will have had the "Brits are drunk hooligans" trope reinforced and will assume that's down to "cultural differences" too.

What a upsetting situation to be in, good for you for punching the guy, it may make him think twice about touching another persons child in future. What a 'nice' father that little girl has!

I probably wouldn't have but would have wished I had
I hate bullies!

ah had only read OPs posts.

So we can probably take a punt that this girl has been saying to her dad that the DS has been pestering her, the Dad saw the last push and overreacted?

I mean if he was restraining the DS from pushing his daughter a 2nd time i can well imagine it might leave a mark (although he shouldn't have been grabbing him that tightly, more he should have taken his child away)

All the "smirking" stuff, it's ridiculous. He was probably doing that thing where someone is ranting at you (someone whose son has pushed your DD) and you just zone out and have a bland expression (which is what I'd do, tbh)

What a mess though.