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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want my 3 year old to come out of nursery telling me that Jesus died on the cross but came alive later?

215 replies

ptangyangkipperbang · 07/03/2008 10:58

DS3 is 3 and goes to a nursery affiliated to the local church school. However, it is a nursery for all local schools, not just the church one. Even if he was going to the church school I would still think 3 is a bit young for this, but he is going to a different school. Do I just bite my tongue when he announces with absolute certainty what the Easter story is?

OP posts:
LilRedWG · 07/03/2008 11:00

I think you are being unreasonable. Children should learn about all religions and festivals.

Would you really honestly prefer him to think that Easter is about getting lots of chocolate?

Threadworm · 07/03/2008 11:00

No, don't bite your tongue. Tell him this is what some people believe, and then give him your version.

Alambil · 07/03/2008 11:01

If you don't believe it, then discuss that some people believe this is what happened, and some don't.

If the nursery is affiliated with the local church school it makes total sense to have Christian stories at seasonal times of the year.

I don't think a 3yo will take the enormity of the story to heart so you don't have to worry about nightmares etc.

If he is going to a non-church school, don't they have their own nursery - then this issue is less likely to come up?

LilRedWG · 07/03/2008 11:02

Agree with Threadworm that you should tell him this is what some people believe, but still think he should know about it.

Threadworm · 07/03/2008 11:02

Agree with LilRed that they can't (and shouldn't) avoid speaking about the meaning of easter at a time when they are making easter cards, bunnies, whatever. It's important to leant Christian cuklture so long as it is properly placed in a context of diff beliefs.

Carmenere · 07/03/2008 11:02

You said it yourself, it is a 'story'. It is harmless and no matter what your religious leaning is, it is good for your little one to know about others. It won't harm him, don't stress about it.

Original poster
ptangyangkipperbang · 07/03/2008 11:07

Have said that some people do believe that but we're not sure that it really happened. Think I feel a bit delicate about this the whole thing because DS1 learnt about Easter at the same nursery when my dad was dying. When we told him his grandad had died he said "he'll come back to life like Jesus". I just think 3 is very young to be told this like it is a fact. Of course I want him to learn about different religions but it was the absolute certainty he had that what he heard was true.
There is no other local nursery around here. The church one feeds four local schools, but only one is a church school.

OP posts:
Fennel · 07/03/2008 11:10

I would be irritated too. My dds have always gone to non-religious nurseries and schools but still they get told this sort of thing. I want them to learn that it's One Story, something some people believe. I don't want it presented as a fact, which it tends to be, even at our non-church primary school.

We do say it's what some people believe but not what DP or I believe. But I am irritated that it isn't presented as one of a set of possible beliefs. That's what I would consider more appropriate.

Peachy · 07/03/2008 11:11

We ahve a similar set up with regards to Church nursery, but tbh I thnk you have to just accept that they'll be teaching Christian Doctrine, esp. around Easter time.

My ds2 last night was telling me that jesus died on the cross and that everyone ho doesn't beleive that is a Devil Worshipper, especially daddy and Ds1. SO hoping he put his own slant on that and it wasn't the school PMSL......

Ruth02 · 07/03/2008 11:12

If it is affiliate to a church like my dd nursery is I would expectthem to pick this up. My dd has already for easter but she also covers all other festivals and faiths as well as it has many children it it. Her nursery will feed to both denomination and non- denominational primarys. its just giving them the basics, it doesnt do any harm. just let her know different folks believe in different things.

beaniesteve · 07/03/2008 11:12

I would be upset if it were my child. I plan to bring mine up with no religion. This doesn't mean I will be making him/her anti religion but that he will not have the concept of a god/jesus etc in his/her mind.

just like I was raised.

However, at some point children will have to be taught it (Isn't it compulsory for some reason in schools) and then you will have to explain it's what some people believe.

I think it is so wrong for a nursery to do this and I would have a word if I were you.

lovecat · 07/03/2008 11:13

Actually, I'd love it if dd came home saying that!

Despite a small lifetime of churchgoing, at 3 she remains resolutely resistant to anything religious other than saying 'AMEN!' loudly at innopportune parts of the mass....

LilRedWG · 07/03/2008 11:13

LOL Peachy! I'm sure it was his own slant.

Fennel · 07/03/2008 11:14

Still, whatever school or nursery teaches them, they'll probably have their own interpretation. I was very amused with my dds' creations for their easter bonnet competition last year.

dd1 (6) had a model of Jesus on the cross on top of her bonnet (together with flowers and chicks). Jesus had a large and unmistakeable willy.

dd2 (5) had a crucified bunny on her hat.

Sadly neither of these got a prize.

Original poster
ptangyangkipperbang · 07/03/2008 11:15

I'm off to pick him up now and find out what he has learnt today .

OP posts:
Scattybird · 07/03/2008 11:16

Haven't the 'Easter' holidays been moved in a lot of schools in preparation for withdrawing from religeous festivals. I thought all the schools were having those holidays after Easter this year.

LilRedWG · 07/03/2008 11:16

Fennel - have just spluttered tea over the keyboard at your DD2.

Scattybird · 07/03/2008 11:19

That is totally irrelvant to your point btw, I just thought schools were not teaching religion anymore.

Peachy · 07/03/2008 11:20

Oh no fennel, I am so going to struggle to resist doing that to the ds's bonnets PMSl- esp. the crucified bunny! (my friend is judging and she's an Evcangelical Minister, doesn't even like me owning a Qur'an- I will shortly have a degree in world religion fgs! rather an important book....)

I'm sure it ewas DS2's own slant, if it was the school they'd have rememberd to list Mummy first.

The rule is they teach 2 religions IIRC, Christinaity is usually one of them. Many faiths chools teach judaism for trhe second, so they can just read bits of genesis and talk about Jesus being a Jew. Easy cop out.

Which reminds me of the Catholic Priest Lecturer I know who incurred extreme wrath from many after he stated ona radio program that Jesus was a Jew- lots of letters to his boss saying he should be sacked because everyone knows Jesus was a Good Catholic Boy PMSL

katierocket · 07/03/2008 11:21

My DS1 is 6 and has been utterly petrified by a 'film' he was shown at school about jesus dying on the cross. I accept that he will be told/shown things like this but it is tricky to tell him that I don't believe it (and to me it's just a a story) because with everything else he learns at school, the word of school is law (as far as he's concerned anyway).

contentiouscat · 07/03/2008 11:21

hmm sorry YABU the school is church affiliated...I think you will find christians will believe there is no age too young to start spreading the message

If it really offends you - you should have no trouble find a non church affiliated school.

Im an aetheist - if anyone (adult) were to talk to me about God I would smile and shuffle away from them nervously - in the same way as if they discussed the existence of fairies or aliens.

On the (rare) occasions the children have come out discussing religion though I have just said "oh thats nice darling" as I dont think it is really up to me to tell them if they should "believe" or not.

Just think of it as a nice "story" like the cat in the hat or the gruffalo...what harm does it do in the larger scale of things?

kslatts · 07/03/2008 11:21

If you have sent him to a nursery school that is connected to a church school then YABU. I think it is a good thing that children learn the real meaning of religious festivals from a young age, my children don't attend a church school and learn about festivals from lots of different religions.

Threadworm · 07/03/2008 11:22

School holidays have moved away from coinciding with Easter -- but I'm sure that's just for practical reasons, nothing to do with withdrawal from commemorating religious festivals.

I'm an aetheist but I think that the Easter story, with its parable of the loss and rediscovery of love, of guilt and redemption, is the most beautiful and important part of my cultural heritage. Cenral to so much beautiful music, art, literature, as well as too our psychology.

Would hate to lose it in a misplaced secularism.

katierocket · 07/03/2008 11:23

LOL at your DCs easter bonnet creations

Kimi · 07/03/2008 11:23

Why are people who send their children to church schools or church related places so put out when God is mentioned????

I am Christian and raising my children (one of whom is at a church school) the same, but I do not have a problem with my children learning about other faiths, it help to combat ignorance, Just because I believe in Allah as much as the tooth fairy or the Easter bunny does not mean that I object to other people believing in Allah or any other faith of my children be exposed to these beliefs.

DP is a non believer thats up to him, but he has to accept that I do believe, and so do my children and we go to church, Christmas is not just turkey and gift giving and Easter is not chocolate day, or do you think letting your child think Christmas and Easter are just commercial holidays started by hallmark?

Just tell your child not everyone has a faith, or change their nursery and let someone else have the place.

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