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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want my 3 year old to come out of nursery telling me that Jesus died on the cross but came alive later?

215 replies

ptangyangkipperbang · 07/03/2008 10:58

DS3 is 3 and goes to a nursery affiliated to the local church school. However, it is a nursery for all local schools, not just the church one. Even if he was going to the church school I would still think 3 is a bit young for this, but he is going to a different school. Do I just bite my tongue when he announces with absolute certainty what the Easter story is?

OP posts:
Peachy · 07/03/2008 11:25

The Easter thing this year is purely because the of the way the church calendar falls, nothing more. Ours are still getting one straight, long holiday as well. Which is a bit damantion as I am due right in the middle!

Greyriverside · 07/03/2008 11:25

The people telling the story probably see it as a cosy little tale with a happy ending. They almost certainly mean no harm by it.

But if even those who believe in the story take a step back and think about it. It IS a story about some guy who was tortured to death and thrown in a hole.

If a child came home and said "we were told about some murders that were in the newspaper and how the victims died" there would be a riot.

I'd want to know what affiliated means in this case. Didn't the government promise childcare and nurseries for all? I don't recall compulsary religous indoctrination being mentioned at the time.

Sarahjct · 07/03/2008 11:26

Scatty as far as I am aware the holidays are moving to make the Easter holidays more regular as they are so moveable. I don't think it has anything to do with religion. I work with schools and that's how I understand it. Peeps with children actually at school might know something different though but it's what I was told.

OP I do think YBU. If the nursery is affiliated with the church school then you have to expect it. This is still, just about, a Christian country so you have to expect a bit of basic religion around Christmas and Easter. My 5 year old niece walks round with a doll up her jumper from December to March, pretending she is Mary having the baby Jesus and she has done this for a couple of years.

Don't send him to the church nursery if you don't like it.

MrsBadger · 07/03/2008 11:26

Will you be equally upset when he comes home after lighting clay lamps to guide Rama and Sita home after they battle the demon king?

Or when he tells you he ate flat bread because God rescued people from Egypt in such a hurry there wasn't time to make real bread?

Peachy · 07/03/2008 11:26

'Im an aetheist - if anyone (adult) were to talk to me about God I would smile and shuffle away from them nervously - in the same way as if they discussed the existence of fairies or aliens.'

I'm a Christian and I still feel like that when poeple do this!

TheHonEnid · 07/03/2008 11:26

I have a special tone of voice I use for things like this 'oh really well thats very interesting'

then move on

beaniesteve · 07/03/2008 11:26

can someone clear this up for me... is religious teaching compulsory in all schools?

TheHonEnid · 07/03/2008 11:27

yes agree wtih the baj

MrsBadger · 07/03/2008 11:28

beaniesteve, comparative religion is compulsory
indoctrination is not

Peachy · 07/03/2008 11:29

Beanie, as far as I am aware Yes (though maybe not in independant sector) BUT it doesn't have to be of the 'We believe' type- it can be very clearly taught as 'some people believe'..... which is important IMO as its still important to understand other peoples faiths as theya re so central to many poelpes lives.

Emprexia · 07/03/2008 11:36

I'm not sure... i'm pagan and i think i'd be a bit leery if it were being told as truth and not just as a story.

While i want my DS to learn about christianity (and other religions) i think there are ways of going about it and would probably disapprove if the nursery had a religious agenda.

Kimi · 07/03/2008 11:38

Oh shall i kick up a fuss about indoctrination when my children come home with this that and the other to do with Allah, Buddha, a whole host of Hindu gods and other stuff?

Opps no that would be racist.

Seems Christian bashing is allowed though, let me put it plain and simple....DON'T SEND YOUR CHILDREN TO THE CHURCH SCHOOLS IF YOU DON'T WANT THEN TO LEARN ABOUT RELIGION EVEN THOUGH THE CHURCH SCHOOLS ARE ALWAYS THE BETTER SCHOOLS

Peachy · 07/03/2008 11:41

Kimi that woldn't be racist, faith is not a race. And whilst I think you have to accept christian faith in a school afilliated to a Church not everyone has access to any other options- we don't, its the only one here, and in many villages.

Church Schools are lways best??? Define best! So not true anyway, despite being a popular misconception its true.

eleusis · 07/03/2008 11:45

I think talk about Jesus should not only be tolerated but expected in a church school -- including the nursery.

I would be disappointed if our church school didn't support religeous festival with
"stories" for the nursery children. I mean that's why I send them there: so that church and school together can provide them with one community in which to grow.

I would object to any parent who came forward objecting to the teachings of Jesus.

edam · 07/03/2008 11:46

It's certainly a story about a man who was tortured to death but he wasn't thrown in hole IIRC, it was a cave! And I'd be surprised if any school told it that bluntly.

Took ds round our local cathedral the other weekend. Behind one altar, they have statues of modern martyrs - Martin Luther King, that Pastor whose name shamefully escapes me and so on. So one could explain oppression and sacrifice and relate that to the story of Jesus, putting him in a non-religious context if you liked. (All the sculptures were of Christians but you wouldn't have to point that out.)

Ds was particularly taken with lighting candles, used up all my change!

Greyriverside · 07/03/2008 11:46

Personally it doesn't make any difference to me if it's christian, buddhist, islamic whatever. It's just about parental choice and whether it's an appropriate story to tell a child.
It wouldn't be so bad if you had the story of jesus feeding people with loaves and fishes for example (and as long as you said 'some people believe')

Sarahjct · 07/03/2008 11:48

My dd is 8 weeks old. We are Catholic, I attended Catholic schools, we go to Mass. I will now start having to sign a register at Mass to prove I was there in order to get dd's name on a list for the raffle for the Catholic school place in 5 years time. I don't live in an area where there is a lot of immigration, so no Catholic Polish children to accommodate. The difficulty lies in the fact that people are getting their children christened purely to get them into the school because it's the best school for miles. Fact.

It bugs the hell out of me that I have to go through this. If you don't subscribe to the religion then leave the church schools/playgroups/nurseries alone for the people that do.

havalina · 07/03/2008 11:49

DD did this when she 3, her version of the easter story included the lines "He died in the end, but thats ok because the fairies brought him back to life " said in a deadpan manner.

I'm not religious but have no problem with her being taught about religion, easter and christmas are celebrated by everyone not just christians, and wouldn't make sense without learning about jesus. I can understand you not wanting it presented as fact though, but maybe the whle different beliefs thing will kick in when they are older.

Peachy · 07/03/2008 11:50

Sarah I sympathise ()and as I said i am Aa christian anyway) but what should people who have only one school in their village do? Or Nursery? That is a very real issue for some people after all.

Ruth02 · 07/03/2008 11:50

Im catholic, so is dh, so are the kids.My local primary (im in the catchment area) which I want my children to go to is catholic, but ive been told I may not get a space if I dont fit all the criteria!!!! What criteria? Im catholic and stay right next to it! Not being racist but it has many differnet faith children in it and my friend dd goes( catholic) and they celebrate all faiths and festivals, but when it came to christmas they couldnt put on a nativity play because it would offend the other children! the kids dont care, they just want to have fun with their friends. Its a catholic school FGS.

PrimulaVeris · 07/03/2008 11:52

It is up to you to say "That's what Christians believe" if you don't.

But I think it is a positive thing for young children to know EXACTLY why Easter is celebrated - the reason why we have eggs, celebrations AND 2 bank holidays is because of the Easter story. Egg hunts etc have their origins in the Christian story, and links to pagan birth & renewal practices before that.

Kimi · 07/03/2008 11:57

Shall we all tell our children story's about little girls breaking in to bears houses and stealing, or little girls who get sent in to a dark wood with goodies high in sugar and fat for grandma only to be eaten by a wild animal that then gets battered to death with an axe???

My friend has just got her child's place for secondary school and it is not any of the ones she wanted (catholic family) she is now 500 on the waiting list for the church school, why.... because the church schools are full of plastic believers who then have the cheek to moan and rant that the school had the cheek to mention god.

Also the moment you say anything about a Muslim, or such you are branded raciest, bigoted or whatever.

cat64 · 07/03/2008 11:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Ruth02 · 07/03/2008 11:57

Sarah jct.the same thing here. It is widely recognised that here( scotland) that the catholic schools are better, better grades, less absenteeism. This is the problem at the primary and high school here, along with parents just hiring a flat in the catchment area for 3/12 so they have proof of adress to register!!.This leaves the genuine folks deserving this school place with no option but to cross your fingers and hope that your place doesnt go to some, cheater, lier or system player, my personal favorites

Squiffy · 07/03/2008 11:58

YAB totally U.

I cannot see how this is any different (for an atheist) than kids being told that father christmas comes down the chimney or that the tooth fairy will trade your teeth in for a quid.

If you're religious then it is good for your children to be told this. If you are not then it does no harm.