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AIBU?

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Original poster

To not want my 3 year old to come out of nursery telling me that Jesus died on the cross but came alive later?

215 replies

ptangyangkipperbang · 07/03/2008 10:58

DS3 is 3 and goes to a nursery affiliated to the local church school. However, it is a nursery for all local schools, not just the church one. Even if he was going to the church school I would still think 3 is a bit young for this, but he is going to a different school. Do I just bite my tongue when he announces with absolute certainty what the Easter story is?

OP posts:
VictorianSqualor · 07/03/2008 14:51

I think that basing our childs knowledge on what they learn at school is pretty lazy tbh. School/nursery isn't the only place for teaching, the majority of teaching goes on in the home and at nursery especially they only have time to tell a quick summary of the story.
When the child comes home and discusses what it has been told at school is when the real learning begins.
If you don't want your child to only believe what they are taught away from the home then expand on it when the come home.
A lesson is a seed, it's up to parents how to grow it.

IorekByrnison · 07/03/2008 14:54

Quite VS

cat64 · 07/03/2008 14:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

PrimulaVeris · 07/03/2008 14:57

Mandlentil, I think some Christians (well, Mel Gibson for a start) do emphasise the gory-ness of it all which I think says more about them than about the main message of Easter and tenets of belief. I can also imagine it's the sort of thing that can grip the imagination of some young boys in particular, and before you know it, it's turned from a message of love and hope into an 18+ gorefest. (Thanks, Mel Gibson)

I can't believe that I once - very, very briefly - actually FANCIED Mel G.

fabmag · 07/03/2008 14:59

Good on the nursery for teaching the easter story. If you don't like it take your son out of it.

VictorianSqualor · 07/03/2008 15:01

If it really bothers you, how about suggesting you go into nursery and tell them the pagan origins?
DD went to a church nursery and was told religious stories but if I'd have offered to go in and give a talk about Oestre/Eastre and the spring festival to explain where the hare/bunny came from they'd have been perfectly fine with it.
In fact they'd have welcomed the parent interaction.

IorekByrnison · 07/03/2008 15:06

Mel Gibson is a tit.

I really do think it is a good thing for children to be exposed to beliefs that are different from those of their parents, to avoid narrow-mindedness later on.

monkeytrousers · 07/03/2008 15:15

lol UQD and Fennel

I find the iconography a bit suspect too, its a dead body hanging from a bit of wood. Imagine if civil rights campaigners used statues of people lynched to represent the suffering of their people? There'd be uproar!!

Madlentileater · 07/03/2008 15:19

I have absolutely no problem at all with kids coming home with stories of jesus, rama & Sita, buddha etc provided they are told 'this is a story some people belive, and it teaches us that....(whatever)' Absolutley belive it's important for children to understand why we have certain holidays etc etc but I DO have a problem with a teacher telling stories as FACTS. To me that's an abuse of trust, tbh, unless you have explicitly sent the child there to receive religious instruction.

AprilMeadow · 07/03/2008 15:28

I think that you are being unreasonable i'm afraid. I am a Christian and i still had to learn about other religions when i was at school. My ds who is nearly 3 comes home and tells me of the religious festivals they have learnt/celebrated at nursery. I certainly dont get annoyed at him learning about it just because its not my chosen religion..........

lucyellensmum · 07/03/2008 15:33

Totally unreasonable!!! Why did you send him to a christian nursery if you don't want him to know the easter story?? It is the most important part of the Christian year, even more important than xmas actually. Do you tell him then that easter is about stuffing ones face with chocolate, or do you opt for the pagan version about the goddess oestrus (oestrogen, estrogen, easter) and rebirth etc etc. At saying 3 is too young you are not giving your three year old credit. This would be just as distasteful as being upset about other festivals from other religeons, and more than a little ignorant

lucyellensmum · 07/03/2008 15:37

By harpsichordcarrier on Fri 07-Mar-08 14:05:04
other cultures celebrate mother goddesses in the spring

The virgin mary receives special significance at this time of year by the catholic church!!

I guess the OP will not be allowing her child easter eggs then.

TheFallenMadonna · 07/03/2008 15:37

I wonder if the "some people think" bit is sometimes a bit lost on 3 year olds.

Mine has an unswerving belief in all kinds of supernatural beings, only some of which her parents believe in

VictorianSqualor · 07/03/2008 15:40

LEM, Easter eggs have nothing to do with the Christian religion so I don't think the OP will be bothered about them.

lucyellensmum · 07/03/2008 15:43

I went to a catholic convent school, then a catholic comprehensive, the only problem i have with my father taking me to church every sodding sunday until i was eleven was the fact i was BORED out of my tiny mind. I recently started going to church again, I then understood why . I was not however indoctrinated, i was able to form my own conclusions about religeon and like most young people, it became a pretty insignificant part of my life. Yes, it is there in the background and has been a comfort during some difficult times. It certainly didn't do me any harm!! I get so cross about this. England is a Christian country, that is, the principal religeon is Christian. It is that reason why religeous education is taught in our schools. Now we are becoming a more diverse ethnic community, we get to experience other religeons and that can only be a good thing. Why do people have such a problem with this - scared i guess.

lucyellensmum · 07/03/2008 15:44

Yes VS that is true, but i think they are a pagan symbol are they not ( i honestly dont know) so i would have thought the OP would be just as scared about that?

harpsichordcarrier · 07/03/2008 15:47

I don't think the op is "scared"
I think the OP isn't keen on her three year old being told with absolute certainty what the Easter Story is
that isn't the same as being scared

VictorianSqualor · 07/03/2008 16:10

The chocolate form of Easter eggs comes from Germany, it was a part of the pagan festival to paint and hide eggs at Easter, then for some reason Germany changed that to giving out chocolate eggs.

trockodile · 07/03/2008 16:12

To the best of my knowledge it is fairly universally agreed between historians that Jesus existed and was crucified. What happened after that is hazier and comes down to personal belief but it is the reason for Easter (and afaik is held now because of the Jewish Passover).
I don't think it is unreasonable to tell a child the story and explain that some people believe that He rose again and that is why we celebrate Easter.

cardy · 07/03/2008 16:37

If you believe something else tell him about it however if you send your children to a Christian nursery or school you should expect this, (in addition to learning about other religious festivals).

Greyriverside · 07/03/2008 16:46

Still not clear if it's a religious school or just a school that just happens to use the premises of a religious school. If it is for the purpose of recruiting for the church then there should be an alternative one that's there just for the kids.

If there's no alterntive I suggest simply asking your child what he learned today and when he mentions religious stuff just tell him straight out that they made it up, that it's all just stories.

lucyellensmum · 07/03/2008 17:04

We are quite happy though to tell our children, with absolute certainty that father christmas exists

I just dont think it is that bigger deal. Of course if the child is upset that is quite different and the nursery is at fault for not toning the story down. But it seems there are a group of parents out there who are quite happy for their DCs to benefit from the educational benifit of going to a "nice church school" then i am afriad these hypocrites will have to accept a higher level of christian education. I am not suggesting this is the case with the OP, but really, whats the big deal.

Fennel · 07/03/2008 17:16

It's a moot point whether, if there is one state school or nursery in your area, and it's a religious one, and you send your children to it, you are actually *choosing" a church school.

Our local school, the only one in our village, isn't religious, officially, though my dds are taught christianity as The One Truth there. But other nearby villages have one school which is officially a church one. If we were in one of those villages we wouldn't really have much choice.

pointydog · 07/03/2008 17:17

Must admit, I was a bit shocked when dd1 was told at school aged 5 about Jesus being nailed to a cross and dying.

It was just such a barbaric, horrific thing to do that I think we forget just how awful it must sound to a very young child who has never heard the story before.

Personally, I don't think there's any need at all to mention nails, hanging from a cross, crown of thorns etc to pre-schoolers.

VictorianSqualor · 07/03/2008 17:19

I think telling your chld it's all 'made up' is as bad as someone who doesn't believe saying 'it's all true'.
It isn;t something they made up, it is a story from an old book, a very old book infact, and we do not know if it is true so if you want to be honest with your child it's best to tell them you don't know rather than it's all made up.

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