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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to go it alone at 23?

153 replies

youcannevergoback · 08/10/2023 12:51

I'm 23, I'm a primary school teacher and enjoying it well enough. I live in a very cheap area of the UK and have bought a house. I've always loved children and recently started looking seriously at the process of becoming a foster carer now that I have my own place.

However I've always been desperate for children of my own and have been waiting for the right man to come along, except I've just sat down and given it a thought-- I can't imagine living with a man. I never really have, unless my little brother counts. I've never really felt that urge to have a relationship and was only in one short lived one once.

I don't really want to travel (I spend a month or so a year with family that lives abroad and have since I was about 5). I've never liked going out. I adore children and think I do well with them, so I'm asking myself now why not just look into having children alone. I feel ready and most girls my age (in my area) already have children, so I don't see why I wouldn't be capable. Work will definitely be the biggest issue as it seems so sad to put your child in nursery young but then again I don't suppose there are many housewives around so that would be the same with a partner!

Poke some holes in my plans please Smile

OP posts:
newamsterdam · 09/10/2023 15:33

MotherofaToad · 09/10/2023 14:09

@HBGKC my dd does not have a dad. She has a donor. A man who I have never met cannot be her dad. Evolutionary biology has evolved so that a baby needs a sperm cell, an egg and a womb to grow in. A child does not need a dad.

The donor is her father, whether you know him or not. That is unchangeable fact. He is the father of your child, and always will be.

Uggtrending · 09/10/2023 16:52

@HBGKC I don't agree with this. My dad was involved over the years and it was a very turbulent dynamic. I don't see my father, there's been no fall out as such I just don't see him. As a mother it saddens me and if I had the choice to have a grandson for my own Son I would jump at the chance. It does matter. Don't be so selfish just because you want to fit your own narrative!

Uggtrending · 09/10/2023 16:52

Grandfather

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