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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think my friend’s “warning” was fine?

281 replies

WomanStanleyWoman2 · 07/10/2023 16:03

A new Arabic restaurant has opened in our area. A friend of mine went and said she liked the food, but was disappointed there was no alcohol licence. She and I both enjoy wine with a meal, so it did put me off a bit TBH, although I might try it for lunch.

Anyway, someone had posted about this restaurant on our local Facebook page, with all the usual “please support a new local business” comments. My friend had replied on the post saying “Just to warn people, this place doesn’t have an alcohol licence or offer BYOB”.

Honestly, from some of the reactions you’d think she’d confessed to suffocating puppies. People telling her she was pathetic; why on earth should people have to be “warned” about the lack of alcohol; can’t people enjoy even one meal without alcohol; it sums up everything that’s wrong with this country (🙄) and so on. One person (who I assume is connected to the restaurant or its owners) even tried to suggest she was damaging the business!

AIBU to think there was nothing wrong with what she posted? Maybe the word “warn” made it sound a bit overdramatic, but realistically there are a fair few people who wouldn’t want to go to a dry restaurant. As for saying she was damaging the business, that’s just ridiculous in my eyes. It was entirely factual to say they don’t serve alcohol. It’s unlicensed, but they want to keep it a secret? If they’re that worried the lack of a licence will put people off, why not just apply for one?

If they think they can sustain a dry restaurant, they must believe they’ll still get customers who aren’t bothered by the lack of alcohol. So why is it a problem to point out that they don’t sell it?

OP posts:
Lamelie · 07/10/2023 16:06

I’d roll my eyes at someone posting that. It’s not going to help the business is it? Adults can research if having a drink with a meal is essential.

Tacocatgoatcheesepizza · 07/10/2023 16:08

Yanbu. Of course you can enjoy a meal without wine but I’d like to know about it in advance because frankly I usually want to have a glass of wine! I’d hate to turn up expecting to have one and not be able to, but if I knew in advance, no problem.

It actually happened to us one NYE, we’d gone out to an Indian restaurant without realising they didn’t serve alcohol! Luckily you could byob and there was an off licence next door.

Brianisanaughtyboy · 07/10/2023 16:09

I think it was fine to inform people about that but the word 'warn' unfortunately sounds too much like a negative review/ complaint so that's why it's got their backs up. If she'd put it more as 'Had a lovely meal here, didn't know beforehand that they don't serve alcohol or allow BYOB but their lemonade was delish" or similar I think she'd have had a much better response.

Merryoldgoat · 07/10/2023 16:09

Tbh I wouldn’t expect an Arabic restaurant to serve alcohol.

WomanStanleyWoman2 · 07/10/2023 16:09

But why won’t it help the business? She’s not lying. Anyone who goes there will find out as soon as they see the menu.

In any case, surely the post was aimed at potential customers.

OP posts:
NamedAfterABeatlesSong · 07/10/2023 16:10

YANBU. I’d be grateful of the heads up that I can’t have a glass of wine with my evening meal.
Be honest though - it was you, not your mate, wasn’t it? Lol.

WomanStanleyWoman2 · 07/10/2023 16:11

Be honest though - it was you, not your mate, wasn’t it? Lol.

Haha - I knew someone would say that. It genuinely wasn’t me!

OP posts:
Womencanlift · 07/10/2023 16:12

“Just to warn people, this place doesn’t have an alcohol licence or offer BYOB”.

Adding “warn” does make it sound like a negative comment. As a pp said I would have assumed anyway that an Arabic restaurant was dry. And even if I wasn’t expecting it I wouldn’t be bothered enough to comment on FB

Sweetspatula · 07/10/2023 16:13

I think the warning was fine. I've never been to a restaurant that doesn't serve alcohol and would be disappointed it didn't serve it as I like wine with a meal out. It wouldn't occur to me that just because it was Arabic it wouldn't serve it as many restaurant proprietors don't drink themselves for religious reasons but still serve to customers. I'd appreciate the heads up and the owners should expect that it'll put some people off, which is their perogative.

Precipice · 07/10/2023 16:13

It’s not going to help the business is it? Adults can research if having a drink with a meal is essential OP's friend is under no obligation to help the business. It's not even on the page of the business; just a local one. Indeed, the 'research' might be looking at comments that other people have left about the business...

If she'd put it more as 'Had a lovely meal here, didn't know beforehand that they don't serve alcohol or allow BYOB but their lemonade was delish" or similar I think she'd have had a much better response. Yes, she might have had a better response, but it would be a different comment. You don't have to 'shit sandwich' all comments on everything.

Sparklesocks · 07/10/2023 16:14

Agree that the use of ‘warn’ might have been part of the response - you normally warn people about bad things so it might have been seen as a negative comment - but still no need to be rude

CherryMyBrandy · 07/10/2023 16:14

YANBU. Nothing wrong with pointing out facts. Although pointing out facts does seemed to be frowned on these days.

Hillrunning · 07/10/2023 16:15

Yeah, it was a twaty thing to post.

Cowlover89 · 07/10/2023 16:16

Yanbu

WomanStanleyWoman2 · 07/10/2023 16:16

Hillrunning · 07/10/2023 16:15

Yeah, it was a twaty thing to post.

Why?

OP posts:
Finlesswonder · 07/10/2023 16:17

YANBU.

I wouldn't want to go to a restaurant that doesn't serve alcohol. Yeah I can go a meal without a drink but when I'm paying to go out for a meal I expect to have wine or beer with it. Having alcohol with your evening meal is a standard western concept. There's nothing wrong with not serving booze but it should be clearly stated on the restaurants page in which case your friends comment won't change anything

IloveAutumn2023 · 07/10/2023 16:19

It wasn't nice 'to WARN' as that does come across very negatively.

dhr could have 'informed' or just mentioned in passing after saying it was a lovely meal.

RaeHitsEbSire · 07/10/2023 16:19

Anyway, someone had posted about this restaurant on our local Facebook page, with all the usual “please support a new local business” comments. My friend had replied on the post saying “Just to warn people, this place doesn’t have an alcohol licence or offer BYOB”.

It's where she posted it that's the issue. Clearly this was a cheerleading page for the restaurant, so she was off-message.

QuietDragon · 07/10/2023 16:19

Well it's hardly good for the business is it? It's basically saying 'if you like a drink, don't bother going'.

When otherwise people may have went and decided they liked it regardless. Nobody warns people about good things.

KezzaMucklowe · 07/10/2023 16:19

Nothing wrong with the post at all. I would appreciate a heads up because I often enjoy a glass of wine/ beer with my food. I'd certainly like to know before I got there anyway.
A pp was right that lots of Arabic restaurants do not sell alcohol or allow byob. I wouldn't necessarily assume that was the case though.

babysharkdoodoodedoodedoo · 07/10/2023 16:19

I think it’s fine although can see how the use of the word warn may have seemed melodramatic or negative. A lot of people can’t afford to eat out often and also a nice glass of wine or couple of beers is part of the charm of eating out! I know of plenty of Arabic restaurants that can and do serve alcohol so I’d not assume that they couldn’t purely due to that as some PPs have suggested.

newamsterdam · 07/10/2023 16:20

Lamelie · 07/10/2023 16:06

I’d roll my eyes at someone posting that. It’s not going to help the business is it? Adults can research if having a drink with a meal is essential.

This doesn't make sense. How does it help the business for people to go, expecting alcohol, and not getting any, and being pissed off? It doesn't.

You have to own your choices. They choose not to serve alcohol, that's fine. How can they have a problem with people saying this?

AllProperTeaIsTheft · 07/10/2023 16:20

It’s not going to help the business is it?

Why is it the OP's friend's job to help the business? She was just pointing out a useful piece of information. Lots of people like a glass of wine when they go out for dinner.

QuietDragon · 07/10/2023 16:20

I think it would be different if someone posted asking for opinions/reviews.

Pandor · 07/10/2023 16:20

I would have appreciated the warning.