To think my friend’s “warning” was fine?

[WomanStanleyWoman2]

A new Arabic restaurant has opened in our area. A friend of mine went and said she liked the food, but was disappointed there was no alcohol licence. She and I both enjoy wine with a meal, so it did put me off a bit TBH, although I might try it for lunch.

Anyway, someone had posted about this restaurant on our local Facebook page, with all the usual “please support a new local business” comments. My friend had replied on the post saying “Just to warn people, this place doesn’t have an alcohol licence or offer BYOB”.

Honestly, from some of the reactions you’d think she’d confessed to suffocating puppies. People telling her she was pathetic; why on earth should people have to be “warned” about the lack of alcohol; can’t people enjoy even one meal without alcohol; it sums up everything that’s wrong with this country (🙄) and so on. One person (who I assume is connected to the restaurant or its owners) even tried to suggest she was damaging the business!

AIBU to think there was nothing wrong with what she posted? Maybe the word “warn” made it sound a bit overdramatic, but realistically there are a fair few people who wouldn’t want to go to a dry restaurant. As for saying she was damaging the business, that’s just ridiculous in my eyes. It was entirely factual to say they don’t serve alcohol. It’s unlicensed, but they want to keep it a secret? If they’re that worried the lack of a licence will put people off, why not just apply for one?

If they think they can sustain a dry restaurant, they must believe they’ll still get customers who aren’t bothered by the lack of alcohol. So why is it a problem to point out that they don’t sell it?

I don’t drink alcohol because I don’t like it and I’d find your mate’s comment quite funny, if anything. I’d also feel a bit sorry for the person posting who has to rely on drinking booze in order to enjoy their meal. 🤪

What can I help you with?

To be clear, this isn’t my view of the comment. OP is trying to understand the reaction and I’m offering a suggestion. There are areas where people are more sensitive to certain issues than others.

@newamsterdam but the original post she liked the food, so yes it is negative to only mention the part you're unhappy with.

But sure yeah, let's all be more negative, it's a free country after all. We'll all be better off if people complained more 😂

I went to a restaurant recently which I didn’t realise had no alcohol. I actually fancied a glass of wine but didn’t really mind - the food was excellent. I should have realised because most restaurants will list their menu online which includes a drinks menu but this one didn’t.

I wouldn’t have gone to the bother of going online to post they didn’t serve alcohol as it was one meal and I’m likely to go to another restaurant anyway where they will.

How is it racist to point out somewhere doesn’t sell alcohol?

Reported.

I look at menus before deciding where to eat not the drinks on offer. It really doesn't matter to me if they're licensed or not.

I'd judge someone who felt the need to "warn" others about that and frankly think they have a problem with alcohol.

I am sort of laughing inside at people who abolutely need a drink to enjoy food and feel they need to 'warn' others, a bit dramatic (also, it's an Arabic restaurant, it's really no surprise).

I would have said, FYI or just to let you know rather than warn.

I wouldn't massively care as I can take or leave a drink with a meal.

I would have though that most people would assume an Arabic restaurant wouldn't be serving alcohol anyway though?

Use of "warn" is absolutely fine. Those who aren't bothered about no license will still go won't they so alls good. Better than booking a table, turning up, then ditching the place to go somewhere else.

People should realise the strong possibility of an Arabic restaurant not serving alcohol.

I would want to know if a place didn't serve alcohol before I went, so I would take the 'warning' in the spirit it was meant, a friendly heads up. I don't see how it would damage the business, it would be worse if people went along expecting wine with their food, being disappointed, allowing their disappointment to sour their experience, and then leaving a bad review.

The smugness of these posts is quite incredible. Do you realise how daft you sound?

When a new restaurant opened near me and released it's menu, the oh so subtle notcomments about the lack of alcohol and turkey bacon came quick and fast!

All completely wide-eyed and innocent of course. 😇

OP's friend's comment could have easily been construed this way, depending on where she lives. Posters are just pointing this out as a possibility to why she got such a negative response.

The word ‘warning’ immediately makes what follows a negative. You don’t warn somebody about something neutral or positive. It wasn’t wrong to mention that it doesn’t serve alcohol, but there are politer ways to do it than issuing a ‘warning.’

She could have said something like ‘Went here last week, really lovely food and definitely recommend. Just a heads up that it’s unlicensed so can’t buy or bring alcohol, but plenty of soft drinks available.’

Would have got the same message across but in a more positive way.

What a bunch of drama llamas.

There was nothing wrong with what she said even if she did use the word 'warn', rather than saying "Just a heads up".

But that's FB for you, too many people bumping their gums and moaning about bugger all.

A bit like us lot on Mumsnet 🤗

I tried to match the smugness of the OP's friends 'warning'.
🍻

You overshot by about a thousand miles.

I don't think they do to be honest.

I mean even though we're all anonymous here, I'm cringing myself inside out for them.

If you were actually in a Middle Eastern country, then yes. But a lot of restaurants adapt to the country they’re based in. No one is saying they should have to - but what’s wrong in informing people of this?

Are you the aid friend? Maybe have a drink, may make your day a bit better.

@Merryoldgoat , plenty of Lebanese restaurants serve alcohol, and they’re ‘Arabic’. I wouldn’t expect a Saudi one to, but the. I’ve never heard of a Saudi restaurant outside Saudi Arabia anyway.

I’d want to know, OP, and I’m hardly a big drinker, but I like a glass of wine or two with lunch or dinner out.

I rarely have a drink when I eat out because I am usually driving. On the rare occasion when I can have one I would be very disappointed to find out it was a dry restaurant.

Every one I’ve been to is BYOB.

The thing with social media is that people only post to disagree and you get many who love a pile on.

For all those sticking a nasry comment on, there will be people saying 'handy to know'. Or 'best not book it for Jan's birthday but will give it a go for lunch' to themselves.

But non of these people will bother to wade into an online argument, especially when already aware they'll be slated.

People seem to feel entitled to take people to task on social media in a way they never would in person.

I'm not a big drinker but if I'd bothered to get public transport or a taxi I'd be annoyed because otherwise I'd have saved myself money and driven.

Warn sounds slightly negative, but really, who cares? If people had enough basic comprehension to read to the end of the sentence they'd see she's just stating a fact; 'warn', 'heads up', none of those things is going to magically make them serve wine.

Also bemused by the amount of smugness and puritanism here. Some of us like wine with food – just a glass! There's an entire industry predicated on pairing wine and food; it's not weird to like it. I don't always have wine when I have a meal out, but I generally like having the option and would appreciate knowing in advance. Plus, most Middle Eastern restaurants near me do serve alcohol