To think my friend’s “warning” was fine?

[WomanStanleyWoman2]

A new Arabic restaurant has opened in our area. A friend of mine went and said she liked the food, but was disappointed there was no alcohol licence. She and I both enjoy wine with a meal, so it did put me off a bit TBH, although I might try it for lunch.

Anyway, someone had posted about this restaurant on our local Facebook page, with all the usual “please support a new local business” comments. My friend had replied on the post saying “Just to warn people, this place doesn’t have an alcohol licence or offer BYOB”.

Honestly, from some of the reactions you’d think she’d confessed to suffocating puppies. People telling her she was pathetic; why on earth should people have to be “warned” about the lack of alcohol; can’t people enjoy even one meal without alcohol; it sums up everything that’s wrong with this country (🙄) and so on. One person (who I assume is connected to the restaurant or its owners) even tried to suggest she was damaging the business!

AIBU to think there was nothing wrong with what she posted? Maybe the word “warn” made it sound a bit overdramatic, but realistically there are a fair few people who wouldn’t want to go to a dry restaurant. As for saying she was damaging the business, that’s just ridiculous in my eyes. It was entirely factual to say they don’t serve alcohol. It’s unlicensed, but they want to keep it a secret? If they’re that worried the lack of a licence will put people off, why not just apply for one?

If they think they can sustain a dry restaurant, they must believe they’ll still get customers who aren’t bothered by the lack of alcohol. So why is it a problem to point out that they don’t sell it?

There's nothing at all wrong and you're right, many restaurants adapt to the area/country they're in.

One of my local cafes is run by a Muslim family and they still sell bacon and pork sausages - other Muslim cafes replace with turkey.

I think if I were posting about something I'd enjoyed and wanted to support, and someone came and pissed all over it with a negative comment, I'd be a bit annoyed.

I would also laugh at their drama, oh no, somewhere doesn't sell alcohol with their food, how will you EVER survive... What a sad little life they lead if the lack of alcohol is something they feel people must be warned about!!!

As ever, people are pretty much free to type what they like, they're not reasonable however to expect to be free of the consequences of doing so though. The consquences of being a negative nelly on such a post are that you (sorry, I mean 'your friend') might get a bit of flack.

Meh...I kind of get it, but it's the word 'warn' imo. If the restaurant hasn't made it clear that there's no alcohol licence, maybe she could have posted 'just to say that...' or 'just to let you know...'.

No problem with the post, just the wording. Yes, a bit pedantic, but, you get what I mean?

Agree with those saying the tone could have been better and more friendly to the restaurant, but the information about the lack of license or BYOB policy was something that quite a lot of people would have wanted to know in order to make an informed choice about where to eat out.

You sound like you should've added more mixer to yours 👀

I don’t think there’s anything unreasonable about what she posted, but surely people wouldn’t expect an Arabic restaurant to serve alcohol ?

I've had one, and this thread is still idiotic.

So warning someone that an iron is hot somehow means it’s wrong that the iron is hot even though it’s integral to being an iron?
Your analogy is what’s wrong.

@OldTinHat might just be me (possibly very much just me), but I feel like even though "just to say that" is arguably neutral, it would run the risk of sounding a bit passive aggressive. Some people will take no alcohol as a negative and choose not to dine there so I do think there's an element of not being able to make the comment sound better

All the people saying what would you expect etc..there’s lots of amazing multicultural restaurants in my city, including ‘Arabic’ ones, and all either sell alcohol or offer corkage…

Possibility, yes. Not certainty. Given that, it make sense for someone who found herself wishing she had known to make it known to others.

All the Arabic (specifically Moroccan and Lebanese) or Turkish (so also majority Muslim) restaurants I've been to in the UK have offered alcohol. An Arab restaurant I ate in in Jerusalem served alcohol. The only two restaurants I know to be no-alcohol were Indian (one advertised a corkage fee so you could BYOB). It's by no means a rule and while a possibility, not such a high probability as to make it something all potential clients should assume.

I would also laugh at their drama, oh no, somewhere doesn't sell alcohol with their food, how will you EVER survive... What a sad little life they lead if the lack of alcohol is something they feel people must be warned about!!!

The irony of you laughing at their drama! 🙈

Issuing a warning is never positive is it?
The wording and therefore the intention could be interpreted either way. Either advice to avoid disappointment if you must /want alcohol. Or a moan that you did not have the option of alcohol. Use of language is key. Why not say:
Great food, nice atmosphere, dry restaurant folks.
Instead you/your friend went with;
Just to warn you no alcohol.
Not cool really

Why the assumption that anyone who WANTS a drink with a meal needs it?

Why did you post @WomanStanleyWoman2? Multiple posters have given you some plausible reasons why your friend got that reaction. Ot doesn’t mean that they hold the same views.

If you don’t like what you’re being told then get on Facebook and take it up with her critics.

Looking to have the row she can’t have on FB under her real name, I imagine.

For the same reason anybody posts on Mumsnet. I don’t see your point.

Yes to all of this.

In case pp haven’t noticed the Home Secretary has given quite a lot of speeches lately about the failure of multiculturalism and criticising those who ‘fail to integrate’. OP’s friend almost certainly isn’t racist but when the holder of one of the great offices of state knows that that kind of rhetoric polls well with certain groups of people it’s not a huge leap to imagine that might be why she got a negative reaction.

What did you think folk were going to say to you? Did you think it would be a lovely big bitch about the thickos of Facebook?

I guess she thought we'd agree with her, which plenty of us do. So...whats your point?

I think the word warn is too strong. But I think the head up is fair. I would be miffed if I went for a meal and did not at least have option of a glass of wine.

It's not your freinds fault if this harms the business, it is the truth.

because if people dont know they will turn up and it will be while we are here anyway may have a meal etc

YANBU. I like an alcoholic drink with a meal and can equally enjoy one without. However I like to know before hand if i can have one or not and in the UK (presuming this happened in the UK?) a restaurant is more likely than not to serve alcohol, so people would be forgiven for assuming they could have wine etc. I’d appreciate knowing beforehand though I agree the use of the word ‘warn’ would maybe have changed the tone of the comment.

Some Arabic/ Middle Eastern countries don’t drink alcohol but plenty do, so I don’t think it’s reasonable to assume that an Arabic restaurant wouldn’t serve alcohol as a PP said.

Why even post that??? Why do people need warning?? It's an Arabic restaurant Why would they sell alcohol?!?

@WomanStanleyWoman2
to be fair if booze was banned there would likely be a lot less health and crime related issues to it.