Husband fed me a food he knows I have never eaten and never willingly will

[Anon39]

I came back from taking our son to training and as I walked back in my husband asked me if I wanted a sausage sandwich I immediately said yes

started eating it and he said do you know what those sausage are? And I replied in the negative and he started to chuckle and said “do you like it?” So my hackles were up I stopped eating and asked for the package of sausage

he started getting defensive and I just knew it was black pudding (which I do not eat and have never eaten and he knows how I feel I have no feelings if you do eat it and that’s not the point of my post)

I found the package and it was black pudding sausage I was so upset he knew I would never have willingly eaten black pudding. I feel so betrayed and I’ve ended up crying and he has basically told me to grow up and stop being so dramatic he can’t understand why I’m so upset

it’s not really about the food it’s about the breaking my trust I would never think to question him about what type of sausage they were because I trusted him

not to drip feed I am Autistic so I am aware I have issues around food

yes you’re being unreasonable and should have checked (after 20 years of marriage)
no - your partner deliberately betrayed your trust

I'm not allergic to any foods but I have huge issues with the smell of food especially.
I would never eat black pudding.
My dh would love a goose for Christmas lunch but knows I couldn't eat it.
We once ordered a Chinese meal for 2.
I ate a slice of orange.
Nothing else.
The smell was horrendous to me.
If I held my nose I could eat the food but that's not a good look in a restaurant.

They've been married 20 years!
There is no way on earth he "missed" the fact that his dw's autism affects her food choices and that's not just a fad or fussiness.

Regardless of that, he certainly knew she chooses not to eat black pudding. That should be enough.

Yes it was a bit unkind, but it was only about taste not causing a allergic reaction, just preference.
I assume we are talking about adults. Get over it.
As I say unkind, unpleasant It is not WW3 or LTB.

It was nothing to do with taste!

Um, probably, yes.

I can absolutely understand why you got upset. Eating blood and fat isn’t for everyone. Is he often like this OP? Is your gut feeling that he was trying to upset you deliberately?

I wonder how some of these posters who think it's no big deal would react if their DH or a friend served them up a Fido casserole? I bet they would be more than a bit ticked off. Or, like you said, Secretariat salad or Rocky Mountain Oysters.
I wish each one would be served a dish of one of the above so they could share their "feelings".

Sounds like you didn’t even realise there was black pudding in the sausage until he started questioning you? If you liked the sausages I don’t get what the problem is, I would get it if you had a moral objection to pork or meat etc but if the only reason you wouldn’t eat it is because you don’t think you would like it and actually the sausages tasted fine until you knew what was in them then I think YABU.

There is definitely fat in sausage, and a small amount of blood too.

😂well I would bet my house on it they don't. Disgraceful.

So Not Taste, Not Allergy, Not a vegetarian (willing to eat sausages).
What then?

I agree that it's completely awful behaviour to deliberately trick you into eating something that he knows disgusts you, he definitely shouldn't do that.

I am struggling a bit with "congealed blood of pig is heinous and foul, I thought I was eating the delicious corpse"! Maybe you should consider going veggie?

Get over a person who is supposed to love and care for you, choosing to do something that you admit is unkind and unpleasant that they know you didn't want to do?

You and others on here with such low standards of your loved ones should really look into why that is. It's really not normal it acceptable to do this to another person and accepting it as ok, saying to just get over it is concerning.

YANBU 😞

But why does it matter if the OP has just decided she doesn’t like black pudding without trying it? It makes zero difference to her husband’s life!

I love Christmas pudding. My sister hates it. Therefore I eat it and she doesn’t, with neither of us stressing about the other’s choice or trying to con one another. That’s how normal people behave.

All of us who eat any meat/animal product are being hypocritical to eat one type of animal and not another, if you look at it in the simplest terms. We are conditioned however to feel different about eating different animals, and also some people develop their own aversions (for a whole host of reasons). I actually see no difference between eating a sausage or a sausage with black pudding in it, but OP does, and so her partner needs to respect that (even if he doesn't understand it).

So, if you are served a casserole and you like it, so then you are told it was Fido from down the street, you'd be okay with that, as long as you liked it? Black Beauty Burritos? Seabiscuit and gravy? Interesting....

So would you eat andouillette which is a sausage made with the animals intestines and smells like sewage?

I don’t really agree with this all or nothing or you’re a hypocrite when it comes to animal products.

I'm a vegan, so, no.

I don't think it's for anyone here to say how big of an issue this is to the OP, particularly given her food/sensory issues. I was once given some kind of turkey mince based tomato dish and told it was quorn when I was veggie (like OP's DH, the person giving it to me thought it was hilarious 🙄). I think everyone on here has agreed that giving meat products to vegans or vegetarians is wrong, but why does that not also apply to any secretive adding of food that the recipient has a real aversion to for any reason? Eg my DH has a massive aversion (almost phobia level) to peas and mushrooms. He's not fussy in any other way so why would I be so twattish as to add food that will literally make him retch and panic once he realises what he's put in his mouth?? That's not what a loving partner does!

@Nanaof1 Bambi burgers

And it doesn't really matter what the food is, or even if it's not food related and something else entirely. Knowing that someone doesn't want to do something and deliberately tricking them into it so that you can prove some sort of point and laugh about it, isn't ok.

Well, you are entitled to your view, but can I ask why you don't agree? What makes it ok to eat one type of animal and not another? Why are we conditioned in this way? I include myself in the hypocrites because I eat (some) meats but not others.

He despises and disrespects you OP.

You don’t trust him and your probably never will now.

You need to make plans to leave him.