Husband fed me a food he knows I have never eaten and never willingly will

[Anon39]

I came back from taking our son to training and as I walked back in my husband asked me if I wanted a sausage sandwich I immediately said yes

started eating it and he said do you know what those sausage are? And I replied in the negative and he started to chuckle and said “do you like it?” So my hackles were up I stopped eating and asked for the package of sausage

he started getting defensive and I just knew it was black pudding (which I do not eat and have never eaten and he knows how I feel I have no feelings if you do eat it and that’s not the point of my post)

I found the package and it was black pudding sausage I was so upset he knew I would never have willingly eaten black pudding. I feel so betrayed and I’ve ended up crying and he has basically told me to grow up and stop being so dramatic he can’t understand why I’m so upset

it’s not really about the food it’s about the breaking my trust I would never think to question him about what type of sausage they were because I trusted him

not to drip feed I am Autistic so I am aware I have issues around food

yes you’re being unreasonable and should have checked (after 20 years of marriage)
no - your partner deliberately betrayed your trust

he has now accepted that he didn’t give me a choice and that in itself was his error and going forwards to prevent any miscommunication or misunderstanding I will cook only for myself

You've been gaslighted, OP. The issue is NOT that he didn't give you a choice or that he deceived you - that would be akin to hiding veggies in a kid's dinner. The issue is that he did this TO HAVE A LAUGH AT YOUR EXPENSE. knowing you would feel violated. Not in error: on purpose.

That's what he needs to acknowledge - and further, that he then deliberately reframed his disgusting action as an "error" about "choice", so he could disguise it and evade full blame. That's what you would be required to forgive, if you choose to. Given that you no longer trust him to cook for you, it seems like that will be hard.

I'm really sorry. This is a really nasty thing to have done.

I did see your response, sorry, but the religious angle was completely irrelevant as OP wasn’t objecting on those grounds 🤷‍♀️

Yes, we get you’re very amused etc but do you have any thoughts or ideas?

Ah, here we go! Knew you could do it!

So you’re saying it is abuse to give someone the wrong bit of cake? Ok - at least you’re nailing your colours to the mast now!

But I’m not arguing with that [maybe learn to read before arguing incessantly with someone?!]

If you don’t have thoughts on the admittedly nuanced but related train of thought I was following… maybe don’t keep pestering me!

So why bother?!

Ah - actually- don’t answer that @Broccoliforever ! I can see you’re one of those posters who just likes to join an argument to annoy someone.

Do you read a lot of Oscar Wilde?

The thing that confuses me is did you not taste the difference? I hate black pudding, no philosophical objection, just hate the taste and can detect even a crumble in mash, ruining scallops etc or wherever is fashionable to put it. It's such a strong flavour .

Your husband seems a bit weird and childish ti be honest but when it comes to food I'm guessing this is a reaction to other food habits too?

But the OP didn’t say she didn’t like it, just that she would never eat it. So if that’s because it’s a blood product then she’s likely never tried it. So she wouldn’t recognise the taste in anything else - she would just register it as different. Why would you think there’s a similar reaction to other foods though ? And even if there were, it still wouldn’t entitle her partner to disregard her stated wishes and behave like an arse.

Please leave me alone!! Either contribute or scroll on.

Actually we don’t know that, as she didn’t say - she just said she would never eat it.

I don't think I have any unusual issues around food, but I do not eat black pudding and would be repelled and angry if I'd experienced this. It was not funny and you are justified in feeling that it was a betrayal of trust

He's a knob for sure. But nothing to sweat about. Bide your time and level the playing field sometime x

Very unfair. I’ve reported your post. Not sealioning at all; I made a point. You, along with your cronies, insisted on repeatedly picking me up - not to debate but to insult.

Someone else clearly thought that @Broccoliforever was bullying as their attacks have been deleted. Why don’t you just not engage with me if you want me to stop? I’m going to defend myself if people attack me!

This. There is a huge difference in taste/appearance between a sausage and black pudding.🤔

@AmIthatweird

I. Know.

What I’m trying to get at is that no one has been able to actively explainwhysome meat-eaters reject black pudding.

Well it doesn't seem like you do know. On this thread the why is beside the point. Although a few posters have berated her for their idea of it. Apparently it is like hiding vegetables in a fussy child's meal - it really is not.

I put two and two together and thought maybe she won't eat blood products? I may be completely wrong. OP may be deliberately not saying precisely because a) it is not the point of her distress at her DH and b) she knows she will receive belittling replies if she does. I am not saying you have done that Weird.

Maybe OP hates dark sausage shaped things or has PTSD from a black pudding related attack? It is still beside the point.