Husband fed me a food he knows I have never eaten and never willingly will

[Anon39]

I came back from taking our son to training and as I walked back in my husband asked me if I wanted a sausage sandwich I immediately said yes

started eating it and he said do you know what those sausage are? And I replied in the negative and he started to chuckle and said “do you like it?” So my hackles were up I stopped eating and asked for the package of sausage

he started getting defensive and I just knew it was black pudding (which I do not eat and have never eaten and he knows how I feel I have no feelings if you do eat it and that’s not the point of my post)

I found the package and it was black pudding sausage I was so upset he knew I would never have willingly eaten black pudding. I feel so betrayed and I’ve ended up crying and he has basically told me to grow up and stop being so dramatic he can’t understand why I’m so upset

it’s not really about the food it’s about the breaking my trust I would never think to question him about what type of sausage they were because I trusted him

not to drip feed I am Autistic so I am aware I have issues around food

yes you’re being unreasonable and should have checked (after 20 years of marriage)
no - your partner deliberately betrayed your trust

Where is the hysteria ? This is about consent. And if he’ll do something like this without consent, it’s reasonable to ask what else he might be doing without it, because he doesn’t seem to have much respect for it.

Again the issue is CONSENT not the food.
Op is an adult human female with her own autonomy and if she doesn't want to eat black pudding then that should be respected, most of all by her supposed loved ones.

@MolkosTeenageAngst it is abelist to believe that your reasoning of a matter is the only logical conclusion and to dismiss the choices and boundaries another person makes due to how their Autism presents itself on THEIR spectrum.

Who's "you"? I eat sausages and would not eat black pudding. Would you eat pig's eyes, tongue, heart or trotters? It doesn't have to be a rational choice. And either way, OP's not a wayward child to be educated for her own good by her wise and rational husband.

The OPs husband was wrong but I think without more information I can't make a judgement that he's abusive & the OP should be considering her relationship, that's a little extreme imo.

I always have home made soup on or in the fridge in the winter months. I use chicken or ham stock for all my soups. My sister sometimes pops in for lunch. She is vegetarian so I always make fresh soup for her using vegetable stock or give her shop bought if it’s last minute. She would be none the wiser if I just gave her the soup I had already made. After all, she ate mum’s meaty soups growing up. It would never occur to her to ask if it was vegetarian. She trusts me and knows I respect her choices.

This is exactly the same. OP trusted her husband to respect her food choices and he has broken that trust. Not only that, he has mocked her for being upset about it. OP can ask him if it’s the first time he’s done this. She can ask him never to do it again but can she trust his answer? I don’t think I could ever trust anyone again if they had done this to me.

Who's "you"? I eat sausages and would not eat black pudding. Would you eat pig's eyes, tongue, heart or trotters?

In fairness, if you eat sausages you probably eat most of that anyway

I believe strict Jews, Muslims and Jehovah's Witnesses do not eat blood pudding due to it containing animal blood, so contrary to what people are saying it could be a massive breach of trust for some not comparable to gooseberries.

🤣

👏🏼👏🏼

It's delicious to you, because you like it. It's disgusting to OP.

Do you usually lack empathy?

I believe strict Jews, Muslims and Jehovah's Witnesses do not eat blood pudding due to it containing animal blood,

Strict Jews & Muslims don't eat sausages though?

Yes of course I would those things are in normal sausages .. have you never hidden veg in a child's meal?

It's an irrational thing to not eat if you eat other meats . Yes she might not like it but to dismiss something because of the thought of it being unpleasant without trying it is silly

Of after she's tried it she doesn't like it fair enough ?

Jews and Muslims wouldn't eat black pudding as its made with pork, first and foremost.

He's an arsehole but not abusive. Christ

If you eat sausages willingly and enjoy those sausages you have no leg to stand on whatsoever to object to one ingredient that forms a very minor part of the sausages

• Pork (63%), Water, Black Pudding Pepper (10%) (Water, Rice, Modified Starch, Dried Potato, Dried Pork Blood, Potato Starch, Rice Flour, Onions, Salt, Mixed Herbs, Pepper, Yeast Extract),

10% black pudding, finely minced into 'pepper' and the fifth ingredient of that 10%, that is literally ground up small enough that you can barely see it, and you can't taste it to notice it.

https://www.sainsburys.co.uk/gol-ui/product/the-jolly-hog-the-porky-black-sausages-400g-7793704-p-44?productId=1139704&utm_campaign=20333793068&utm_medium=cpc&utm_custom2=759-449-0952&storeId=10151&gclid=CjwKCAjwg4SpBhAKEiwAdyLwvFIr_5xT8KXehHCs0k0P-tCFL8IqGmhjSOoN3quYiGKSsmbMb-DtDBoC_zQQAvD_BwE&catalogId=10241&utm_custom1=&langId=44&utm_source=Google&utm_content=shopping&krypto=cchYliR94CCj7Xf1mtaIemn60K1p9lERzxqNwXAqEkQw%2B0Or68CRF9e4ZE1ZB9oDJfDCf7A1OL78oDasdl14lkcJZrYMB2ROKUbRPtbwYgBsRcqXBo0iCz%2FskicaHG%2Bj2gq2wkoRWyBQC0nvMKuTCoV8MWueT%2F0AI%2BEd5wEaWc13aiPb5Y4IEHcVNvLMmaKWTh9kZdknDCOi8WzD1PS%2B%2F%2FauhK5AyVeNmyiLe79PjeaH4He0eAmuN8%2Fw4cCcvq51AQ24qnSr3jpHQ9a2GGFUG3jrTVuAmGXGGRIH15%2BRfconoMAzqyhDTQeNnd57xzfOy2WeK7SBGwzD01o4Zq8R8c9Ml16d%2BQ0QCfE%2FX9gStfW%2BcwkFysvWBiFUxFGaP4wi&ddkey=https%3Agb%2Fgroceries%2Fthe-jolly-hog-the-porky-black-sausages-400g-7793704-p-44

And no, I don't think feeding a secret sausage to a strict Jew is the same as what happened to the OP.

If you have food aversions or AFRID it's not silly at all and is part of neurodivergency, to be as dismissive to call it silly is an outdated and uneducated opinion.

But they wouldn't be eating the sausages anyway because there is over six times more normal pork in than there is black pudding, so completely irrelevant to this situation.

I love black pudding and so does my 1 year old!

Your husband is a prick.

I have family members who cant eat black pudding for religious reasons. If someone tricked them into eating black pudding, id be disgusted.

rereading the op, its certainly omg behavior's, and id suggest that It's important to have a conversation with your husband about how this incident made you feel. Explain to him that it's not about the food but about the trust and communication between you two.

I haven’t dismissed anything the OP has said about how autism presents on her spectrum because the reality is the only thing OP has said about being autistic is ‘I am Autistic so I am aware I have issues around food .’ She hasn’t said anything about what those issues are, lots of other posters have made assumptions about how her autism presents and mentioned things like ARFID and sensory issues, but the OP herself hasn’t mentioned either.

How is it me being ableist when it is everyone else on the thread suggesting autism automatically = ARFID/ sensory issues etc? How is it ableist to not make assumptions about how the OP’s autism specifically effects her relationship with food? I don’t believe it is me being ableist here, I don’t believe I am dismissing how the OP’s autism effects her, but I am not going to jump to conclusions that because she has autism she must have ARFID either. It’s not my place to make assumptions about how autism effects her, it’s bizarre to me that you can call me out on not recognising that autism effects everyone differently but on the same threads be making assumptions about the OP and how her autism effects her.

I’m sorry but if there are ableist people on this thread I am not one of them. Maybe the people making assumptions about how the OP’s autism presents itself on HER spectrum are the ones who should be considering whether they are actually the ones with ableist views?

what do people even think is IN their sausages, burgers, nuggets...😂

what do people even think is IN their sausages, burgers, nuggets...

😆

I have to ask... what religion specifically ban them from eating black pudding?

I am not asking what religion doesn't allow pork, or meat, we are talking about black pudding here.