Page 18 | Husband fed me a food he knows I have never eaten and never willingly will

Anon39 · 2023-10-07T09:22:15+00:00

I came back from taking our son to training and as I walked back in my husband asked me if I wanted a sausage sandwich I immediately said yes started eating it and he said do you know what those sausage are? And I replied in the negative and he started to chuckle and said “do you like it?” So my hackles were up I stopped eating and asked for the package of sausage he started getting defensive and I just knew it was black pudding (which I do not eat and have never eaten and he knows how I feel I have no feelings if you do eat it and that’s not the point of my post) I found the package and it was black pudding sausage I was so upset he knew I would never have willingly eaten black pudding. I feel so betrayed and I’ve ended up crying and he has basically told me to grow up and stop being so dramatic he can’t understand why I’m so upset it’s not really about the food it’s about the breaking my trust I would never think to question him about what type of sausage they were because I trusted him not to drip feed I am Autistic so I am aware I have issues around food yes you’re being unreasonable and should have checked (after 20 years of marriage) no - your partner deliberately betrayed your trust

missmollygreen · 07/10/2023 16:27

bumtrumpet · 07/10/2023 10:33

Absolutely. If my DH ever tricked me into eating something he knew I didn't want to eat and laughed about it, it would be abusive. Regardless of what that thing was.

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Never cut the veg that your kids wont eat willingly really tiny so they dont notice???

MolkosTeenageAngst · 07/10/2023 16:28

EightChalk · 07/10/2023 16:25

Because the reason might have been disgust, not thinking she wouldn't like the taste. I happen to agree with OP that I would not eat black pudding. For me, that's because the IDEA of eating black pudding is disgusting, same as eating offal. If I was deceived into eating it and it tasted nice, I would still be disgusted that I had eaten it. The taste is irrelevant.

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Okay, I guess I don’t really get how someone can feel disgusted at eating black pudding but still eat a sausage! Sausages are made from all sorts of off cuts, I could understand if the OP was vegetarian but to me it seems illogical to be disgusted at black pudding or offal etc but not at flesh. I’m not saying you’re wrong, just that I don’t really get how anybody would think like that!

Hersecretserviceyourmaj · 07/10/2023 16:28

This reminds me of being in primary school and being forced to eat swede by the dinner lady. We would consider that abuse now. The OP's husband didn't force feed her but he sure enjoyed some fun at her expense.

An interesting thread.

Ofcourseshecan · 07/10/2023 16:28

literalviolence · 07/10/2023 10:51

Yes if the OP had previously repeatedly expressed that she did not want to eat gooseberries. It's not the specific food. It's the lack of respect.

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Exactly. Tricking her and then enjoying her distress. Horrible.

duchiebun · 07/10/2023 16:30

A woman gives her friend a gold necklace but doesn't tell her it's been stolen. The friend continues to wear the necklace in the belief its been purchased. She's had her choice/control taken away from her and that is abuse. You may think it hysterical but it's a misuse of trust. It's playing mind games with the friend. Imagine knowing you've been wearing a stolen item.
What a stupid analogy!

PandaExpress · 07/10/2023 16:30

TomatoSandwiches · 07/10/2023 15:56

You and her husband don't need to understand why op doesn't want to eat any particular thing, all you need to know is her choice should be respected and not be tricked into ingesting something she doesn't want to.
What is hard about understanding that?

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Because she is already eating that particular thing (pork product) but in another form (sausage)
It's the equivalent of saying 'I only eat margarine and DH tricked me into eating butter'
So, while I think it was a shitty trick by the DH, I don't think it's abuse and it definitely doesn't deserve this level of moral outrage!

EightChalk · 07/10/2023 16:31

MolkosTeenageAngst · 07/10/2023 16:28

Okay, I guess I don’t really get how someone can feel disgusted at eating black pudding but still eat a sausage! Sausages are made from all sorts of off cuts, I could understand if the OP was vegetarian but to me it seems illogical to be disgusted at black pudding or offal etc but not at flesh. I’m not saying you’re wrong, just that I don’t really get how anybody would think like that!

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To me it's because, and sorry that this sounds revolting, the idea of eating a solid blood-based product basically means eating a big chewy scab. No nice taste could overcome how disgusting that idea is in my mind!

Rosscameasdoody · 07/10/2023 16:31

MolkosTeenageAngst · 07/10/2023 16:25

But if he’d told her she likely wouldn’t have tried it because she would have (wrongly) assumed she didn’t like it!

When I was little the only way my parents got me to try new foods was to hide them in other things, blend vegetables in sauces and then gradually blitz them less small until I got used to the lumps and eventually pieces etc. There were foods I refused to try on principle but that I happily ate when I didn’t know what they were. If they hadn’t done that I’d probably still be living on toast and cereal!

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The OP isn’t a child, and doesn’t need her partner to treat her like one. And where in the OP’s post did she say she liked it after trying it ? She didn’t actually say she didn’t like it either - she said she would never eat it. Possibly because she has issues with the fact that it’s a blood product. It’s a conscious choice of which he was aware, but he chose to disrespect her by disguising it as something else. His reaction to her upset wasn’t great either and he couldn’t even bring himself to apologise when he realised he’d got it badly wrong and upset her. Not good.

Hersecretserviceyourmaj · 07/10/2023 16:31

duchiebun · 07/10/2023 16:30

A woman gives her friend a gold necklace but doesn't tell her it's been stolen. The friend continues to wear the necklace in the belief its been purchased. She's had her choice/control taken away from her and that is abuse. You may think it hysterical but it's a misuse of trust. It's playing mind games with the friend. Imagine knowing you've been wearing a stolen item.
What a stupid analogy!

What's stupid about it? The principle is still the same.

duchiebun · 07/10/2023 16:33

It's not the same unless the sausages were stolen!!

MolkosTeenageAngst · 07/10/2023 16:33

Hermittrismegistus · 07/10/2023 16:27

How is it ableist? I have autism myself and logically i can’t see a reason to be upset if someone feeds you a food containing an ingredient you don’t like if actually it turns out you like it!

Just because you have autism is doesn't mean you understand how others people's autism affects them.

I won't eat certain foods because the very thought of them turns my stomach. If I liked a food and I found out it had some disgusting thing in it I would be immediately put off. It's not always about taste.

I haven’t suggested anywhere that I understand how other peoples autism effects them and nor do I think it does. I just asked how my logic is ‘ableist?’ Surely I am entitled to my opinion on a thread asking for peoples opinions on a situation? To me putting an ingredient someone doesn’t like in their food when their only reason for not wanting to eat it is they don’t like the taste isn’t malicious or a betrayal of trust. Fair enough if others think differently, but I don’t see why thinking it’s not a big deal is ableist. Personally I don’t think autism is relevant here at all, my opinion would be no different if the OP was neurotypical or hadn’t mentioned autism. My opinion or logical reasoning isn’t based on the fact the OP has autism or the fact that I do, so why is it ableist?

cushioncovers · 07/10/2023 16:33

If the op doesn't eat pork of any sort I can see why she's be upset that he fooled her but if it's just that she's squeamish because it's pigs blood but eats the rest the animal then I couldn't get too upset about it. It was immature of her husband but not a Ltb situation.

duchiebun · 07/10/2023 16:34

You genuinely cannot see the difference between unwittingly wearing stolen goods & unwittingly eating something you don't like?! 😆

Hersecretserviceyourmaj · 07/10/2023 16:34

duchiebun · 07/10/2023 16:33

It's not the same unless the sausages were stolen!!

Was your aggression stolen or is yours, owned with pride?

NetZeroZealot · 07/10/2023 16:34

OP what is the reason you don't eat black pudding?

Rosscameasdoody · 07/10/2023 16:35

PandaExpress · 07/10/2023 16:30

Because she is already eating that particular thing (pork product) but in another form (sausage)
It's the equivalent of saying 'I only eat margarine and DH tricked me into eating butter'
So, while I think it was a shitty trick by the DH, I don't think it's abuse and it definitely doesn't deserve this level of moral outrage!

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It’s not a sausage - it’s a blood product. Specifically pig’s blood mixed with fat and cereal. And it really doesn’t matter what it is does it ? The fact is, he knew she didn’t want to eat it and went ahead and fed it to her disguised as something else. And the moral outrage is because he took her conscious choice away from her by making a unilateral decision he wasn’t entitled to make.

rwalker · 07/10/2023 16:37

Wouldn’t bother me

Rosscameasdoody · 07/10/2023 16:37

missmollygreen · 07/10/2023 16:27

Never cut the veg that your kids wont eat willingly really tiny so they dont notice???

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Not the same thing. The OP isn’t a child and her partner wasn’t entitled to take control away from her concerning a conscious choice she had made - and of which he was aware.

Lovemusic82 · 07/10/2023 16:38

Yes he’s a bit of a twat but isn’t this a bit hypocritical when almost every parent has done this to their dc at some point? I know I have, my dd loved carrot cake and courgette cake until she knew it had carrot and courgette in it.

like you OP, I was anti black pudding until someone almost forced me to try it, it was actually quite nice, it’s just the thought of what it is but then again most sausages contain offal and weird off cuts (possibly testicles etc…) and we still eat them?

Yes, he should have told you what you were about to eat but it’s not worth divorcing him over.

MolkosTeenageAngst · 07/10/2023 16:38

Rosscameasdoody · 07/10/2023 16:35

It’s not a sausage - it’s a blood product. Specifically pig’s blood mixed with fat and cereal. And it really doesn’t matter what it is does it ? The fact is, he knew she didn’t want to eat it and went ahead and fed it to her disguised as something else. And the moral outrage is because he took her conscious choice away from her by making a unilateral decision he wasn’t entitled to make.

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And sausages are chunks of bloody flesh mixed with fat and cereal and stuffed inside an intestine skin. I don’t really get the difference, sausages contain all the ingredients of blood pudding just in very differing quantities?

duchiebun · 07/10/2023 16:38

And even though meat is drained it's not possible to remove all blood so if you eat meat you will consume traces of blood

Maddy70 · 07/10/2023 16:38

You're being silly if you will eat sausage youll eat black pudding. Both are made with pig. It's not like he's fed a vegan a meat product

duchiebun · 07/10/2023 16:39

sausages are generally not prime cuts of meat!

NetZeroZealot · 07/10/2023 16:42

She didn't even eat black pudding, she ate a sausage that was made with black pudding. It's not the same thing. There was probably about 5% black pudding in it.

I once had a sausage roll filled with black pudding sausage meat. Food. Of. The. Gods.

duchiebun · 07/10/2023 16:43

Was your aggression stolen or is yours, owned with pride?

So you're calling me aggressive @Hersecretserviceyourmaj because I called your analogy stupid? 😆