To be annoyed with a stranger telling me to 'cheer up'

[canwetalkaboutcake]

I've just been out for a walk to town. A man of about 60 passed me and told me to 'cheer up'.

I am not cheered up, in fact I'm pissed off. Why do strangers think it's acceptable to say this to someone - I could have just received bad news or be going through something terrible.

I felt like telling him to piss off but I'm too timid to do such a thing.

Men don't get told this by randomers in the street.
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It is always a man targeting a woman with this type of comment, isn't it....

I have got that a few times: ''cheer up'', ''smile'' or ''keep smiling'' (if I just happened to be in a really good mood and was walking around with a big grin).

Typical male entitlement as so many of them seem to think that they can tell women how they should look/what they should be doing with their face & body.

It comes down to the lasting belief that women are objects to be looked at and should exist only to please men.

I dread to think what would happen if a pretty woman in her 20s told a 50 year old man to smile.

Whenever a man (because it is always a man) tells me to cheer up he is told to fuck off. It used to wind me up so much when I was younger. Now I enjoy look on their faces when I tell them to fuck off 😂

Happened to me while I was waiting at a bus stop. Traffic queuing at traffic lights. I am ,I guess elderly,and female so apparently cannot decide for myself how to look! Car in the queue. By any standards an expensive one. There was a middle aged woman driving and a teenage boy.( wearing the uniform of a prestigious local school ) in front passenger seat. Hopefully they were both aware of how to behave. On seeing me he presumably felt obliged to share his wisdom and "care" for me by shouting "oi, cheer up ,what's wrong with your face" The woman let out a loud braying laugh.
I thanked him , told him I had just been diagnosed with a serious illness (true) and advised him and her of the best place to go .
The women looked as shocked as if Miss Marple had mooned at her .
It's not funny,not a joke and I regard it as bullying .

YANBU, it's tedious and intrusive.

I used to get this a fair when I was younger - small blonde. Fortunately I've got a pretty good icy stare-right-through-you. Unless they said 'smile, it may never happen', in which case the response was some sort of grimace and 'it already has' (even if I was actually perfectly happy and the only ruffle was the twat interrupting my thoughts)

It's so disrespectful! What the fuck business is it of his how you hold your face? Women aren't there as decorative accessories for men.

Funnily enough, no one's told my DH or sons to smile, I just asked them.

You are not unreasonable. Yeah, I hear that a lot with my resting bitch face. My response is I wish I could, just like you must want to be less fat / stupid / ugly / old. Whatever is likely to hurt the most.

I was walking the other day, no one else about in the street, when this man appeared cycling towards me. I happened to be wearing a red dress and he stopped his bike, said, “they wrote a song about you” and proceeded to sing Lady in Red at me 🙄.
interestingly, DH “got it” immediately when I told him. However a couple of female friends went straight in with “ahh, bless him”, “that’s quite sweet” etc.
Would he have done the equivalent to a lone bloke? No.
Would he have done it if I’d been with DH? No.
Was he aware that this would likely make me uncomfortable? Yes I am sure.

What he probably wanted to say was "I am a man. Women were created for my delectation. So do your duty and smile"

I once had the oposite. I was walking down the street remembering something funny and so smiling to myself and a woman walking the other way told me I looked too happy and to stop.
Irritatingly it worked because I was so annoyed by her intrusion I wasn't smiling any more.

Oh God yeah me too. I'm now remembering so much shit I'd have to deal with when walking home from school - it was like sniper alley going out as a youngster.

what does that even mean?

FWIW I have been with the same man for 40 years. He doesn't tell random women to "cheer up" because he's not a knob.

A woman behind me in the checkout queue said that to me. After I had spent 14 hours sitting with my dying friend, cuddling her heartbroken young children and laying out her body for the family.
The woman was so lucky I was more focused on buying the family some food or I would have said something.
It was many years ago but I can recall every detail of that bloody woman.

Always a man! I bet you're not60 are you?

Always a man and always a younger woman!

TitusMoan
That is the best laugh I have had all week. Thanks😄

The fact that posters are making out that women are just as likely to do this as men is just 🙄.

I've known two women who didn't see the issue with men saying this sort of bullshit to women and both women were in very 'traditional' relationships with misogynistic men.

Three times in the last couple of weeks when out for a run I've had men say 'cheer up, it might never happen' and some comments on my clothing which was normal running leggings and top and my running technique. I mean, I've been running for 15 years, but yes, I really need advice from some out of shape man who looks like he'd struggle to walk more than a mile without sweating and panting. 🤮

My male partner and son have NEVER had comments like it and I don't get them when I run with men, only when I'm by myself or with female friends.

I did tell one man to fuck off when he started to tell my then 12 year old to smile after perving over her. Dirty bastard.

Good one🤣

Ooh look another 'man making unwanted comments in which he demands a woman rearranges her face to suit him' thread.

Fixed that for you.

This doesn’t make much sense. But are you with a man that does tell women to cheer up?

No man I've ever mentioned this to can recall it ever happening to them. It's like there's a certain type of bloke that expects women to go about our days with permanent smiles like we're civic sodding flowerbeds.

The last time it happened to me I was walking to the bus station, trying to hold it together in public after getting a call at work to say my grandma had died, so yeah, I did look pretty miserable.

It still floods me with rage all these years later.

Misogynistic men (not all men) say it because it's their default reaction when caught glaring at tits (sometimes tits don't need to be involved - it's just gross men ogling women, girls and sometimes young lads with long hair).

Women (not all women) usual glare unsmilingly at men glaring at their tits. It's a self fulfilling prophecy of men reacting to tits.

No man has EVER said this to my 6ft 4in DH or DS - I wonder why that is.

Last time I received the oh-so original 'smile, it might never happen' comment, I just responded 'you first, faceache'.

Childish, yes, but it made me feel better at the time.

I was recently at the airport and a young woman told a man to cheer up and smile and did he not get enough sex this weekend, while he was sat next to his partner. Disgusting.

I was with my DH and a woman told him to crack a smile as we had just came away from a hospital appointment with not great news. Disgusting.

2 examples of how woman are also responsible for talking utter shit.

I quite like this about being commanded to smile