To be annoyed with a stranger telling me to 'cheer up'

[canwetalkaboutcake]

I've just been out for a walk to town. A man of about 60 passed me and told me to 'cheer up'.

I am not cheered up, in fact I'm pissed off. Why do strangers think it's acceptable to say this to someone - I could have just received bad news or be going through something terrible.

I felt like telling him to piss off but I'm too timid to do such a thing.

It is another man bashing thread! All he did was say cheer up 🙄

I've got a "resting bitch" face, so I usually look fed-up, even when I'm not. Someone recently told me to cheer up, so I told him (it was a man of about 80) that my sister had just died - it was a lie, as I've never had a sister, but his face was a picture.

Has anyone ever been told to cheer up by a female stranger? It’s only been men that have said this to me, and more so when I was younger.

Why would he not say it to a man? How is it misogynistic?

It isn't

So what if it is a man bashing thread? Some men are lucky to not be physically bashed on a daily basis with the shit they come out with to women. It's utterly deserved.

It's casual toxic masculinity and it's done to cause offence. The person doing this doesn't care how your day is, they do it because they want a reaction.

@bonbon2023 - thank you for identifying this as a male issue. I've never had this said to me by a woman.

Because a man is not seen as fair game for this sort of comment from an older man. Whereas a woman would be. Much the same as much of the random crime / stalking / rape is from a man to a woman.

Wake up please.

Inevitable it would be a man even though your title said stranger

It is misogynistic because it's a comment in the street on a woman's appearance that he wouldn't have made to a man. Feeling entitled to pass comment on a woman's face like that is absolutely misogyny because the subtext is 'You should smile and look pretty for me' or 'You are a woman, I am a man and therefore your face and your mood are for me to sort out for you'

Tell him your dog just died. Might make him think twice next time 😉

I actually got told to 'smile' by a random woman in Tesco a few weeks ago. She looked similar age as me , mid 50s. I was flabbergasted!

I do similar.

🙄

@canwetalkaboutcake you smile and don't give it a second thought. Why is everyone offended all the time move on with your life.

A man said this to me a few weeks ago when I was minding my own business eating a treat on the way home. It really wound me up and upset me and spoilt my indulgent treat! Why do men do this? I have never had a woman say "cheer up", "smile, the world's not about to end" etc to me. What on earth are they even trying to achieve? It just upsets me and makes me even less likely to smile. What business is it of their's if I'm smiling or not?

This is only ever said by men, to women. No random woman has ever suggested I cheer up, but plenty of men have. Likewise, my DH has never been told to cheer up by a random stranger, male or female. This is why it pisses people off, for those on here who don't want to see that. OP, if you're feeling particularly annoyed, next time go for "Er, did you just tell me what to do with my face?"

Cheer up ? I just did when I saw your uglier than me . Cheer up ? At least I'm not you .

I once responded to “cheer up love, it may never happen” with “fuck off, ‘mate’, it already has!” I had to stifle a grin at his expression

Oh I hate this shit
As if everyone can go around grinning like a Cheshire Cat 100% of the time.
You can absolutely guarantee he wouldn't have said this to another man.

You don't look happy. I don't even know you but I care that you are unhappy. Please know that people care about you.

No, the 'smile love it may never happen' is more about men wanting women to look pretty and pleasant in public. They wouldn't say it to a man. Women don't say it to one another.

And what if you don’t want to smile? What if you e just had some bad news. Why the fuck should some random man order us to alter our expression. Fuck that

Your face and its expression belongs to you.
Also, as others have said, I can bet he wouldn't have said it to another man, so yes it is misogynistic.
As others have said, you don't know what people are going through at the moment, therefore it's bloody rude!

Yanbu