To be annoyed with a stranger telling me to 'cheer up'

[canwetalkaboutcake]

I've just been out for a walk to town. A man of about 60 passed me and told me to 'cheer up'.

I am not cheered up, in fact I'm pissed off. Why do strangers think it's acceptable to say this to someone - I could have just received bad news or be going through something terrible.

I felt like telling him to piss off but I'm too timid to do such a thing.

I got told to 'smile' by a man (very controlling sort) in a meeting this week! He'd never have said it to another bloke.

Because blokes don't say that to other men. Ever. It's only ever directed at women. Ergo, misogynistic.

Oh yeah. And all lives matter.

This. Only men have ever said this to me, more so when I was young. I doubt they would ever say it to another man.

This happened all the time in the 70s which means he’s still there and was probably a builder. Don’t bother to reprimand me about builders.

What a ridiculous thing to say, utter rubbish.

Men say it to women because women are supposed to be constantly smiling, looking pretty for men to admire.

It used to happen to me a lot, strangely it stopped when I got to my late 40's.

He wouldn't have said this to a man of any age.

I haven't experienced it for years but I used to get it often as a teen/ young woman. The subtext was 'please look happy while I ogle you in the street' and it happened more when I was wearing a school uniform.

Got this all the time when i was a young barmaid, they never said it to the miserable looking, muscular, tattooed bar man who worked along side me.

Men never, ever tell another man to smile / cheer up / offer to help them park.

Nope, I've had it said by a few women. Really doesn't bother me, getting all het up about it it's just going to make you feel even worse so just ignore and move on if it's so uber offensive to you🙄

If men would be kind enough to stop behaving like raging bellends at every possible opportunity maybe there wouldn't be so many threads about it. Wild I know.

ive found a chirpy “eff off” is the best response to this nonsense. You don’t owe anyone like that politeness

We KNOW all about NAMALT.

It’s just that we can’t tell WHICH men Are Like That until it’s too late.

Every so often I get this from a member of the public whilst working (customer facing role). I just say that I'm here to work, not to smile at random strangers.

The other thing people say without thinking are, "Cheer up love it might never happen" which is grossly insensitive because they have no idea what might be going on in your life, and just assume you are there as a trinket or something.

I also had someone I knew superficially tell me he preferred seeing me in muted colours, rather than the brights I regularly wore. Without hesitation I replied I don’t give a fuck what you think. That felt good. He is also one of those who stands way too close. #creepyprick

The weird thing is that I kind of almost wanted this to happen after my mum died.

I remember one day when I was out for a walk, and absolutely livid, and if someone had told me to cheer up I’d have had a legitimate reason to yell at them.

I had similar from a woman. Was in a supermarket having just heard that my mum had died, and I took it out slightly on a freezer door, slamming it a bit too hard when it failed to close the first time round.

"Would you do that at home"? said she. "Go fuck yourself", said I. And I still feel entirely justified in doing so.

NAMALT but most are IME.

It's twice happened to me - once when I was coming out of a hospital door! The other time was a van driver leaned out of this window to yell to me when I was on the other side of the road.

It has to be one of the most annoying things that can happen when you're out and about minding your own business. I bet it's always a man saying this to a woman, never to a man.

Oh OP did you forget you are just a service human being there to provide men a pretty canvas to look at on their way through the world being big important human beings

How very silly of you.

I've been with my husband for 17 years but go off

I would stare straight ahead and ignore these days.

It does shock me that a recent online poll said the vast majority of women see cat calling, wolf whistling and random men saying ‘smile’ as flattering and that it makes their day.

I commented that I hated it and was jumped on by women calling me a miserable sad cow and a snowflake.

Why do so many threads start quoting misogynistic all over the place ffs. All these people saying he wouldn't have said it to a man. Says who? I've heard men have comments like this said to them same as women.

But no he shouldn't have said it, it's none of his business. I wouldn't get wound up about it though, I'd just think what a dickhead.

HenrySugar12
This happened to me too. I was told by a complete stranger, a man (strangely enough with his wife), that my face offended him as it was too miserable. My mother had died two days before and this was literally the first time I had left the house since. What is it with these people - always men? Why do they think they should be policing how unhappy or not we look? The arrogance of it.

If someone said that to me again, I would be telling him where to shove his own miserable face and why.