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Original poster

To think this message is patronising or off in some way

164 replies

Sweetsugarr · 05/10/2023 13:47

I’m just wondering what others think as I don’t really like the tone of it but not sure if I’m over thinking it. It’s from someone who I’ve been seeing but I’ve been busy recently, single mum, work and my daughters just started school so not had as much time. What do you think? Also he knows I can’t have come to his this morning as I already told him I work Thursdays. Thank you

To think this message is patronising or off in some way
OP posts:
gwenneh · 05/10/2023 13:49

Translation: Waah, you're not giving me enough attention.

Tell him thanks, you already have a child to deal with though.

AlexaCanYouHearMe · 05/10/2023 13:49

I'm actually struggling to make sense of what that says or means to be honest with you. It's really poorly written.

Sarvanga38 · 05/10/2023 13:49

I frankly can't make head nor tail of it to get any intent from it.

caitlinn · 05/10/2023 13:50

gwenneh · 05/10/2023 13:49

Translation: Waah, you're not giving me enough attention.

Tell him thanks, you already have a child to deal with though.

Exactly this!

TimeForTeaAndG · 05/10/2023 13:50

@gwenneh has it. He's grumping that you aren't spending time with him.

Throw him back.

SBHon · 05/10/2023 13:51

He’s whining you’re not giving him more attention basically and trying to emotionally manipulate you into doing so.

From this message only he doesn’t seem worth your (limited!) time.

NeedToChangeName · 05/10/2023 13:51

I think he's saying that if you were really keen, then you'd make the effort to see him?

Which is kind of true, perhaps. Most of us can find time to do something if we really want to

FLOWER1982 · 05/10/2023 13:51

Don’t like the sound of that. Dump him. Needy.

Lamelie · 05/10/2023 13:51

The writing style would put me off. And I suspect you too, as you write well.
Is he seriously suggesting you go over for a shag on a weekday morning when you work?
Is he off of the inbetweeners?
🤮 but also Flowers

lizkt · 05/10/2023 13:52

It's basically 'I know you don't really want to see me but I like you'.

However he's missing some full stops.😁

Moveoverdarlin · 05/10/2023 13:52

It’s not patronising- it’s pissy.

Original poster
Sweetsugarr · 05/10/2023 13:52

I think he means as I haven’t had as much time to see him, he apparently can sense that I don’t want to anymore and saying I’m not making any effort but just seems a bit off to me

OP posts:
FLOWER1982 · 05/10/2023 13:52

NeedToChangeName · 05/10/2023 13:51

I think he's saying that if you were really keen, then you'd make the effort to see him?

Which is kind of true, perhaps. Most of us can find time to do something if we really want to

when she’s working?

giddymonday · 05/10/2023 13:53

I couldn't date a man who texts like a teenager. Bin.

overwhelmed2023 · 05/10/2023 13:54

That sounds incredibly rude to me!!
Ignore

gwenneh · 05/10/2023 13:54

Sweetsugarr · 05/10/2023 13:52

I think he means as I haven’t had as much time to see him, he apparently can sense that I don’t want to anymore and saying I’m not making any effort but just seems a bit off to me

The language he's used is a choice. If this really is a grown adult who wants to see more of his partner, he would say that. Instead he's chosen to throw an emotional barb with "you'd make the effort".

Is that really the kind of person you want to spend your resources on?

Slinkyminky22 · 05/10/2023 13:55

Sweetsugarr · 05/10/2023 13:52

I think he means as I haven’t had as much time to see him, he apparently can sense that I don’t want to anymore and saying I’m not making any effort but just seems a bit off to me

Yes it's completely off, the tone is bad. He obviously doesn't pay attention either if he doesn't know you work a Thursday morning.

MrsJellybee · 05/10/2023 13:55

Guilt-tripping, negging dickhead.

Lorelaigilmore88 · 05/10/2023 13:55

Whiny man child. Bin him off.

Clemally · 05/10/2023 13:56

Gives me the ick.

Olika · 05/10/2023 13:56

Dump him. You simply cannot give him the time and attention he wants. Nothing wrong with that.

herewegoroundthebastardbush · 05/10/2023 13:56

Well I think it is borderline illiterate, so it would be a no from me, quite apart from the whining and passive aggressiveness. Also 'chick'? Bleugh.

NoWinterYear · 05/10/2023 13:57

I don't find it patronising but he sounds unintelligent, selfish, needy and manipulative.

ThinWomansBrain · 05/10/2023 13:58

FFS - if he thinks you're a chicken, or attempts to call you one (because he can't be arsed to remember your name?) I don't quite get why you didn't just delete the message on receipts and block his number.

Hufflepods · 05/10/2023 13:59

He doesn't want to be with someone who can't give much time to him.
Sounds like a normal, reasonable expectation when dating.

It isn't going to work and that's fine.