Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this message is patronising or off in some way

164 replies

Sweetsugarr · 05/10/2023 13:47

I’m just wondering what others think as I don’t really like the tone of it but not sure if I’m over thinking it. It’s from someone who I’ve been seeing but I’ve been busy recently, single mum, work and my daughters just started school so not had as much time. What do you think? Also he knows I can’t have come to his this morning as I already told him I work Thursdays. Thank you

To think this message is patronising or off in some way
OP posts:
Scylax · 05/10/2023 14:55

Sorry but to echo a PP, just yuck!

Fireisland · 05/10/2023 14:55

He doesn't come across as very bright. Get rid

Idontpostmuch · 05/10/2023 14:56

Can't understand it. Is English not his native language?

CliantheLang · 05/10/2023 14:56

Hufflepods · 05/10/2023 13:59

He doesn't want to be with someone who can't give much time to him.
Sounds like a normal, reasonable expectation when dating.

It isn't going to work and that's fine.

No. What he's doing is called negging. Definitely not fine.

I'll leave you to look it up.

griegwithhimandhim · 05/10/2023 14:58

MrsJellybee · 05/10/2023 13:55

Guilt-tripping, negging dickhead.

Nutshell.

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 05/10/2023 14:58

The writing style alone would mean the bin, if it were me.

UnctuousUnicorns · 05/10/2023 14:59

If I knew that my SO was sharing my text messages on a public forum for others on there to bitch about, anonymously or not, I'd be off like a shot. So yeah, do both of yourselves a favour and end it.

IslaWinds · 05/10/2023 14:59

Textbook passive aggressive.

Tinkerbyebye · 05/10/2023 15:00

For a start ‘chick’ would piss me off

hes telling you you are not giving him enough time or he doesn’t get you have other responsibilities

throw him back

muddyford · 05/10/2023 15:01

I don't actually understand the message. What's he on about? Just bin him.

LuluBlakey1 · 05/10/2023 15:01

'chick'!

What kind of man calls a woman he is trying to impress 'chick'.

'chick' gives me the ick. 🤢

Millybob · 05/10/2023 15:02

You would even consider going out with someone who called you chick?

Original poster
Sweetsugarr · 05/10/2023 15:02

He does saying that a lot. Either that or miss or missy

OP posts:
SleepingStandingUp · 05/10/2023 15:02

I'd take it as him blowing you in a "well you don't even like me enough to try" strop.
I think you're meant to defend yourself about how you DO want to try and you ARE and you'll do BETTER.

SallyWD · 05/10/2023 15:03

He's no William Shakespeare, is he?

SleepingStandingUp · 05/10/2023 15:03

Sweetsugarr · 05/10/2023 14:00

Thank you everyone for your replies. This seemingly came out of no where. He messaged me last night at just after midnight asking me if I was awake. I didn’t reply till morning and that was his response

Was it a booty call?

Testina · 05/10/2023 15:03

Sweetsugarr · 05/10/2023 15:02

He does saying that a lot. Either that or miss or missy

🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢

Mouthfulofquiz · 05/10/2023 15:03

That message doesn’t even make sense?! Bin.

allhellcantstopusnow · 05/10/2023 15:04

I'd mug him off for his inability to write anything coherent.

Original poster
Sweetsugarr · 05/10/2023 15:04

He does keep saying that a lot*

OP posts:
KaySararSarar · 05/10/2023 15:04

Ick

LifeInAHamsterWheel · 05/10/2023 15:05

Without knowing you OP, I know you can do better than him.

CloudPop · 05/10/2023 15:05

herewegoroundthebastardbush · 05/10/2023 13:56

Well I think it is borderline illiterate, so it would be a no from me, quite apart from the whining and passive aggressiveness. Also 'chick'? Bleugh.

⬆️ this

ConstitutionHill · 05/10/2023 15:05

Lamelie · 05/10/2023 13:51

The writing style would put me off. And I suspect you too, as you write well.
Is he seriously suggesting you go over for a shag on a weekday morning when you work?
Is he off of the inbetweeners?
🤮 but also Flowers

This EXACTLY! And given your update, that he basically sent you a midnight (school night) booty call. He's just pissy that you didn't rush over. Unreal!

You are correct to not like the tone, it's patronising and manipulative. If he's fantastic in other ways then maybe put him very straight and give him one more chance. Otherwise I'd tell him it's not working.

listsandbudgets · 05/10/2023 15:08

you're right Cock(eral) I don't want to meet up. I was asleeo at midnight, Im working thos morning. let's call it a day good luck for the future Chick