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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this message is patronising or off in some way

164 replies

Sweetsugarr · 05/10/2023 13:47

I’m just wondering what others think as I don’t really like the tone of it but not sure if I’m over thinking it. It’s from someone who I’ve been seeing but I’ve been busy recently, single mum, work and my daughters just started school so not had as much time. What do you think? Also he knows I can’t have come to his this morning as I already told him I work Thursdays. Thank you

To think this message is patronising or off in some way
OP posts:
Retrievemysanity · 05/10/2023 13:59

Sounds very immature and rude. I wouldn’t be wasting my time if I were you.

Trevorton · 05/10/2023 13:59

'chick' ugh... throw this one back

SlippinJanie · 05/10/2023 14:00

Ugh! He's not bright, is he? And needy. And pretentious "a man can feel these things" - oh do shut up.

Dulra · 05/10/2023 14:00

Really badly worded but it looks to me like he's giving you a way out. He maybe reading between the lines and feels like you're not as keen on him as he is on you

Original poster
Sweetsugarr · 05/10/2023 14:00

Thank you everyone for your replies. This seemingly came out of no where. He messaged me last night at just after midnight asking me if I was awake. I didn’t reply till morning and that was his response

OP posts:
usernother · 05/10/2023 14:02

Lack of punctuation would put me off

Testina · 05/10/2023 14:03

You didn’t respond to him last night, so he’s trying to make you feel scared he’s about to dump you, so that you put more effort in.
Manipulative prick.

”Yeah I guess you’re right, not really feeling it. Goodbye and good luck with future dating”.

<and block>

Nicole1111 · 05/10/2023 14:09

Early days and he’s already trying to manipulate you. Run don’t walk
🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩

CharlotteBog · 05/10/2023 14:10

I'd ditch him for poor communication skills; I can't work out what he's trying to say aside from being a bit me, me, me, wah, wah, wah.

Sod that.

Meadowflower2023 · 05/10/2023 14:10

The man talks in riddles. It's needy and poorly written. I'd really struggle with this.

SamW98 · 05/10/2023 14:14

So he was up for a shag and you didn't immediately jump knickerless into your car to oblige? That’s the gist of it to me.

Tbh he comes across as a barely literate immature entitled dickhead - bin him off and don’t look back

millymog11 · 05/10/2023 14:14

The message is totally intelligible as others have said.

However if others are right and he wants you to ramp up your attention to him/prioritise him/put him above your child /guilt trip you into giving him more attention/pave the way for a reverse kind of "it didnt work out between us because you did not have time to see me/did not make the effort"
you need to consider whether you really can be bothered with such low value game playing from a man.

I'd say time and attention for your own child is a far better use of your time to be honest.....

millymog11 · 05/10/2023 14:16

"He messaged me last night at just after midnight asking me if I was awake."

Drunk
Horny
Wants a booty call
Cares not one single jot about you as a person or or your life and probably has not even registered (or if he has just does not care) about the fact you are a single parent who cannot leave the house in the middle of the night to see him (even if you wanted to)

Where did you find this absolute loser again?

ManateeFair · 05/10/2023 14:17

Oh for god's sake, this man is awful. He's being really passive-aggressive and arsey and needy and controlling. Ditch him NOW.

shieldmaiden7 · 05/10/2023 14:18

He sounds kind of manipulative tbh. And childish.

CoffeeChocolateandBooks · 05/10/2023 14:20

Reply
Thanks Ick, l think your right, not enough time and all that.

Thelittleweasel · 05/10/2023 14:20

@Sweetsugarr

Do you really want to be addressed as "chick"?

BloodyHellKen · 05/10/2023 14:20

OP, did the Fonz write that?

ErrolTheDragon · 05/10/2023 14:20

Lost me at 'chick'.

Yes, it's off.

SpatulaSpatula · 05/10/2023 14:22

What everyone else said in summary:

He's whining that you don't seem interested enough.
This was pretty hard to decipher.
You write clearly and precisely so how is it possible that you're attracted to someone who can barely communicate?
He seems needy and disrespectful.

Persiana · 05/10/2023 14:22

He's being quite up front and saying - you're not that into me are you? Which is sort of good in that he's being honest and wants an honest answer. But, I don't like the way he writes, calling you chick, and the tone of it feels a bit poor me. It would definitely irritate me and I don't think he gets the commitments and busyness of your life, which suggests you aren't on the same page and aren't understanding (and respecting) each other

User0000009 · 05/10/2023 14:23

Chick? Plus illiterate. Bin off

OhComeOnFFS · 05/10/2023 14:25

And he wanted you to make the effort and go to see him, rather than vice versa. Lazy, entitled man. You can do much better than this.

Scoutabouttoo · 05/10/2023 14:26

Id block simply for calling me chick - yuk.

funbags3 · 05/10/2023 14:26

Just yuk.