To think that most company menopause policies are an absolute joke?

[JenniferAnistonsHair2023]

I work for a FTSE100 firm, been there a long time. No historical performance issues. Mid 50s, senior role, quite high pressure.

At the start of this year I went down to 4 days in an attempt to slow down a little. I'm menopausal, anxious, permanently tired (insomnia) - you get the picture. On HRT which has helped but doesn't turn you back into the person you were when you were 30.

My last performance review I was pretty much told I'm underperforming. This came as a shock to me as I'm managing a full time workload in 4 days. Was given some areas to focus on which I'm trying my hardest to do, but part of me thinks I'm just not good enough any more.

Decide to contact HR today to discuss what constitutes 'reasonable adjustments' to my role because of menopause symptoms. (We have a policy published on our intranet). HR helpline pretty much just told me that I need to work things out with my manager. Made the point that my manager was the problem and I didn't feel comfortable discussing menopause with a 50 something male with no training on the matter. Still get a 'computer says no' response.

I mean, what's the fucking point of having a policy? I'm losing the will to live. On top of all that I'm asked to do a day of meetings which involves 3 hours of travelling either side next week, with no opportunity to take any of that time back. I refused on the basis that there was a dial-in option and that I wasn't willing to go massively over my 28 hours for the week (there are times when I have to travel when f2f is the only option and that's fine, I suck it up).

AIBU? Has anyone got experience of a workplace where they have a better menopause policy so that I can consider applying?!

No, she doesn’t, she enters post menopause after the menopause. Menopause comes with three stages. Peri or pre, then menopause, then post menopause, the latter lasts the rest of your life and is a distinct stage on its own.

https://www.summahealth.org/flourish/entries/2023/04/preparing-for-menopause-understanding-the-signs-and-symptoms-in-all-three-stages#:~:text=Menopause%20is%20divided%20into%20three,menstrual%20cycle%3B%20estrogen%20and%20progesterone.

@Zebedee55

Oh lucky you. I can’t take HRT due to mum, grandmother and an aunt dying of breast cancer.

I have such debilitating brain fog that I couldn’t do a report I’ve been doing every month for 12 years. I ended up going to my manager as I knew I was a couple of hundreds thousand £s out but couldn’t work out why. He spotted the error immediately. A basic stupid error.

I have hot flushes. They’re misnamed. I sweat. Big dripping sweats. The other day a colleague asked if it was raining when I arrived at work as my hair was plastered to my head. I actually drip. I hate it. It’s embarrassing and I’ve stopped going out socially.

Can you imagine how disruptive to work and life this can all be?

So yes I’d love to take a few different HRT methods and be done but life isn’t always that simple. I don’t know how much longer I’ll be able to work but we have a mortgage to pay so I struggle on.

Oh God I'm with you with the sweaty head @Grapefruitsquash. It's bloody awful. I'm sorry you're struggling so much.

I'm sure there is some natural remedies for hot flushes, I want to say blackcosh but I could be talking shite.

@JenniferAnistonsHair2023how did was your situation resolved. I’m in a very similar position and losing my mind 😢

They managed me out about a year later, I got a payout under a compromise agreement. Am now at an organisation which is not at all toxic and very supportive of older women in senior roles.

@JenniferAnistonsHair2023im really happy for you, great outcome! Did you bring up the menopause chat after your performance review?

No I didn't. I knew it'd get me nowhere.

Hope your situation gets resolved.