DLA Payments

[6Cactus]

Hi

My son is in full receipt of DLA both components. (Emotional Issues, PTSD and OCD)

I was just wondering am I doing this right? Every month, I allow him to spend the money on whatever he wants. He is 12 years of age (Year 8) and the money is usually spent on Lego, games for his games consoles, art supplies, books etc.

Due to his diagnosis of OCD, the cost of living is very expensive. He will only eat certain foods and the food he likes is pretty expensive, not to mention how much clothing, trainers, underwear, socks and bedding I have to buy for him. To be honest with you, it is really hurts my pocket.

I work, but I’m a single parent, my son has no contact with his father, due to him being the reason why my son has emotional issues and PTSD.

So I don’t get any additional financial support.

Am I doing the right thing by letting him spend his DLA on whatever he wants? AIBU for thinking that slight percentage, perhaps 15-25% should go towards his cost of living?

If you are in receipt of DLA for your child(ren) what do you spend monthly payments on?

Thanks for reading.

Totally agree with this. It'll ruin him unfortunately.

I used to give my child £100 and used the remainder to pay for his other items

It was still a considerable amount for a child his age

I got his payment today, I have come to agreement with him, which he agrees with.

£250 each month (in cash to save at home, his idea) and a Lego set/games etc up to the value of £150.

I will use the remaining amount on the cost of living.

I guess that's progress but it's still a bonkers amount for a 12yo. Good that you're more aware now and can manage his expectations better going forward. At least it's happening before he's hitting his teens when you'd have even less ability to influence him. Not sure having £££ of cash saved at home is sensible though - good example of a 12yo's idea not being that worldly wise and needing an adult to advise, there's definitely some power imbalance here.

It’s still a ridiculous amount to give him, but if I was giving something up then I would cut down gradually too rather than all at once so once you get through this for a couple months, you could then consider putting the £250 into the bank rather than in cash in the house and use it to start teaching him about savings, interest, debit cards etc. It could be a really great lessons for him and maybe he could even use some of the £250 to buy himself some treat foods he enjoys, some clothes he needs that month. Just a little bit of responsibility over the money and learning to use some of it himself on the things he actually require rather than just wants.

You’ve taken the first step on the right direction, and if you can get that £250 in the bank and get him using it for things which it’s actually intended for them he’ll be well on the way to learning to manage things and understand how money works in the real world.

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My eldest daughter is on pip. She keeps this in full (she's 18 now but from age 16). She buys a lot of her own food (coeliac, dairy allergy and struggles with certain foods so this as much as anything is for my sanity). Sometimes she'll use it to take her siblings out which she really enjoys. She can't really get a job, it would be too much with school and her disabilities, so it helps give her some independence.

The 2 15 year olds get £100 a month and a bit extra if they need it. One does climbing so it covers that. The rest goes into the family pot to cover extra costs like additional petrol, any time I have to take off work for appointments (I'm self employed) - just those additional costs we have really. I used to give them more but I was finding that whilst they had hundreds in the bank, I was here struggling to put petrol in the car.

Son's we are still waiting for but that will cover horse riding, swimming and reports we need for his EHCP - possibly some physio and possibly to replace his pushchair.