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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

WIBU to ask them to pay

154 replies

treaclepumpkin · 04/10/2023 16:32

My son has come home from Reception today very upset and with a large (unfixable) hole in his trousers. Another child had pushed him over for no reason and then proceeded to laugh about it. This was all witnessed by their teacher, who did apparently tell the boy off (but he just kept laughing).

The trousers that ripped are for PE and I only have one other pair, so will need to buy another from the school shop, as they use them 2/3 times a week, including to go to forest school.

Would it be unreasonable to reach out to this kid's parents and ask them to pay for/replace the trousers? For context (if relevant) they cost £22. There is no issue here though about affordability for party. It's more the principle, especially as the trousers are barely 6 weeks old.

OP posts:
Ffion21 · 08/10/2023 16:24

No that’s just kid life at school.

£22 - presumably at a private school? My sons PE jacket is £22 but only need one (state primary school). They do let us just buy supermarket plain blue ones too.

Craycraycatbaby · 08/10/2023 16:58

Wait until your DS is older and play fighting and also playing football on school field every day. In the first week of school my DS came home with the pocket ripped off his brand new school shirt and he also comes home covered in mud every day. He needs clean uniform every day of the week. It's very much a boy thing and you need to get used to it. Just buy a cheap pair and tell the school you won't be buying another pair as they rip too easily 🤷‍♀️

Jasmin71 · 08/10/2023 17:08

Tell the school to replace them, they were damaged on school property through no fault of your son.

gemma19846 · 08/10/2023 17:16

Why are you paying so much for a 5 year olds PE pants? Get some shorts for £3 from asda or cheap joggers! No dont ask for them to replace them. Youve no idea how many items your child might accidentally damage of other kids in his school years! Hes 5, welcome to school life

Baba197 · 08/10/2023 17:24

Is it private school to be buying trousers that expensive? If not then just get cheap ones for school. If you can afford to replace then just get on with it- these things happen and prob won’t be the last time. I would be more concerned with how the teacher dealt with it and if it’s a regular occurance and making sure my child wasn’t being deliberately targeted, clothes don’t matter

Luckyduc · 08/10/2023 17:39

First kid I take it.

There's alot korenof that to come. I work in reception and boy don't have some stories. Two come to mind....a kid using a black sharpie drawing all Iver another kids jumper while sitting on the floor and a girl who's parent put them in a beautiful dress for world book day but she tipped the paint all over her dress and went in to wipe her painted hands all over it too.
Buy cheap...you will be replacing it alot.

Cakecakecheese · 08/10/2023 17:57

If you click on see all you'll see the OP has stated it's a private school and the trousers are an unusual colour and branded so buying cheap isn't an option.

CatamaranViper · 08/10/2023 18:02

gemma19846 · 08/10/2023 17:16

Why are you paying so much for a 5 year olds PE pants? Get some shorts for £3 from asda or cheap joggers! No dont ask for them to replace them. Youve no idea how many items your child might accidentally damage of other kids in his school years! Hes 5, welcome to school life

Because it's a private school and the joggers are a specific shade that can't easily be found in the shop. And OP has said that they are already a minority and she doesn't want to let her child stand out further by not conforming.

It's all there, in OPs posts.

JLou08 · 08/10/2023 18:13

I wouldn't.
I would be contacting the school shop for a free replacement. School trousers shouldn't be ripping from one fall. If he is on reception I'm guessing he's only had them a few weeks so they must be very low quality. The price is steep for primary school too. My children had cheap ones from Asda and never had any issues with them ripping despite them falling over and climbing in them.

Casperroonie · 08/10/2023 18:26

If its a private school I'd be even more miffed about terrible behaviour!!!! I'd say it's a school matter, if you're not happy I'd speak to teacher.

iolaus · 08/10/2023 18:40

It may be worth you reinforcing the knees of the new pair with patches from the old ones on the inside of the knees to start with

trickyex · 08/10/2023 19:06

Its annoying given the cost but just repair them, patch repair if needed?

Julimia · 08/10/2023 19:50

No i wouldn't. This could so easily come back and "bite you in the bum"
This is just the beginning!

Sennelier1 · 08/10/2023 19:53

Just buy a nice but affordable pair of PE trousers for your child. If the school insist on the expensive ones you can mention the ruined trousers and how it happened.

Julimia · 08/10/2023 19:54

Oh my if you think thats terrible behaviour......

Whalewatchers · 08/10/2023 20:07

DC's school trousers were €26, give or take £22, he's 7. They are brilliant quality and are a great fit for a slight child. Tried Tesco,M&S and Dunnes (Ireland) and nothing else fitted right.

He wears them 2/3 times a week for a while school year. Per day, it's cheap.

MrsRaspberry · 08/10/2023 20:12

PipersDream · 04/10/2023 16:40

This is why stick on patches were invented!
(and don't send expensive stuff into school)

Edited

Seems like they're part of the schools uniform for pe etc i couldn't justify paying £22 for an extra pair though mum could just have them sent home each time to be washed after use rather than pay for an extra set

Nina1013 · 08/10/2023 20:49

treaclepumpkin · 04/10/2023 17:31

@YourNameGoesHere it is a private school

I would speak to school in that case - they’ll have second hand uniform and I would be asking for a replacement from that. Not from the other parent.

My daughter has lost hundreds and hundreds of pounds worth of uniform and kit and it’s entirely out of my control as she’s only young and I’m not there with her. If I’m certain it went to school and didn’t come home, they give her replacements from the nearly new uniform (where the likelihood is her missing stuff will end up anyway).

Private schools will generally work with you to find a solution if you’re polite and reasonable.

I used to replace it all but it just got ridiculous and they totally understood.

Prescottdanni123 · 08/10/2023 22:59

£22 for school trousers is quite expensive, especially for a child that young. There is a high chance that even if they hadn't been ripped today, they would have gotten torn due to a different reason or mixed up with another kid's PE stuff and lost or stained etc. Plus by December he will have probably grown out of them.

asdfgasdfg · 09/10/2023 00:23

We travelled a lot and my girls went to many private schools in UK and abroad they all had thrift shops, parents either donated kit their children had outgrown and the PTA used the money or the thrift shop acted as an agent and the parents got money back when the items were sold

Thexwife · 09/10/2023 12:17

Some schools they have to wear the school ones

Thexwife · 09/10/2023 12:20

That’s not a bad idea, especially if they insist on school bought ones. When they refused, I’d be asking why the school insisted on those ones being bought. There’s no good reason. And I think this is the problem here. Kids get into scrapes. But schools shouldn’t be charging extortionate prices for uniform.

AnneValentine · 09/10/2023 19:49

JLou08 · 08/10/2023 18:13

I wouldn't.
I would be contacting the school shop for a free replacement. School trousers shouldn't be ripping from one fall. If he is on reception I'm guessing he's only had them a few weeks so they must be very low quality. The price is steep for primary school too. My children had cheap ones from Asda and never had any issues with them ripping despite them falling over and climbing in them.

As if schools are going to replace uniform!

Mumof3girks · 10/10/2023 07:38

It's prob school uniform so she has to send expensive stuff into school

stichguru · 11/10/2023 00:28

If you suspect it was really bullying then report it to the school and see what they think. 4 year olds jostling in the playground and occasionally falling seems normal. Replacing kid's clothes when they break is a pretty standard part of parenting and you would have had a good idea it might be needed when you signed the kid up to a school with a very expensive uniform, so that is on you!