WIBU to ask them to pay

[treaclepumpkin]

My son has come home from Reception today very upset and with a large (unfixable) hole in his trousers. Another child had pushed him over for no reason and then proceeded to laugh about it. This was all witnessed by their teacher, who did apparently tell the boy off (but he just kept laughing).

The trousers that ripped are for PE and I only have one other pair, so will need to buy another from the school shop, as they use them 2/3 times a week, including to go to forest school.

Would it be unreasonable to reach out to this kid's parents and ask them to pay for/replace the trousers? For context (if relevant) they cost £22. There is no issue here though about affordability for party. It's more the principle, especially as the trousers are barely 6 weeks old.

No you can't ask them to pay. Kids rip things all the time at school it's just part of the parcel. You'll need to mend or replace them yourself.

I’m also confused how he got a large hole on his trousers from just being pushed over.

did you buy a cheap pair and now want the parents to buy an expensive school shop pair for him as a replacement? Or did he get the hole in them some other way and you’re thinking you can get the parents to pay for it?

At my SS the "uniform shop" PE shorts are £12/4. I purchase similiar ones from Next for £4, legally a primary school cannot force you to use branded items.

No I wouldn't ask nor would I pay. Welcome to the school years! 😬

I doubt you’d get very far. Probably be laughed out the playground. Ripped trousers are one of those things at primary hell even secondary Pe. Most school Pe trousers are ripped or small holes within the first term and need replacing. Even my year 10 had managed to bigger his already with only 2 hours of Pe a week.

The pushing incident is something for school to deal with.

To be fair, they are horrible trousers. But in a very unique shade of turquoise I've never found elsewhere and branded with the school logo.

The hole is ridiculous - definitely not something that can be sewn - otherwise I would have done that.

I'm annoyed, perhaps because I know this kid is always behaving badly but now it's directly affecting my kid. But I will let it go.

Thanks for your responses.

@YourNameGoesHere it is a private school

No. These things happen.

Buy cheaper trousers though.

In which case your issue should be with the school who are asking you to buy extortionate clothing which is shit quality. A pair of trousers shouldn't get a hole in them from a child simply falling over.

My DC’s state school has specific PE trousers which are embroidered with the school logo and cost about £20. I know they can’t legally force me to buy those branded trousers but I did, because I didn’t want my kid to be the odd one out and get bullied.

In OP’s shoes I would patch the trousers (stitch a patch inside). They would have to be literally wrecked to be unfixable.

I’d definitely make the shoving a school issue.

Though I am struggling with how one shove over can make such a hole you cannot sew it up. You sure it hasn’t been picked at since. My boy was a bugger for this.

Just one of those things that will prob happen again. You have to shrug it off and grow a thicker skin. You've years of schooling ahead of you with all sorts of challenges. I'm so glad I'm out of the school years 😳

Doesthe school have a secondhand uniform shop of out grown items.My son’s school did

I would definitely have a word with the teacher but probably not the child's parents. Just get the new trousers and ask the teacher to keep a close eye on the child for any further bullying etc.

If you start asking parents to contribute from RECEPTION?, you are in for a very long road...

Of course you can't ask other parents, one day it's a push, then someone will scribble with pen on the top, then yours will drop paint, or glue..

Destroyed bits of uniforms are normal. Expensively annoying, but it never ends.

It's school uniform. Do you expect people to buy it and leave it at home?

School is the child's work. School clothes are therefore work clothes. It would be ridiculous to ask for anyone to pay. Just patch them.

Private school OP?

Does the account of what happened come purely from your child or from the teacher themselves? I’d just bear in mind that the descriptions children give of events don’t always include all of the relevant details. This isn’t saying that they lie….but they are selective with what they say and the emphasis they place in different elements of the story, especially if they know you will be cross about the hole in the trousers.

Sadly, damage to clothes is pretty common. Kids play, fall over, catch themselves on things, spill stuff in themselves and others, and in the course of primary school you’ll probably have to bin lots of items.

The school you’ve chosen has expensive uniform. Presumably you knew that when you chose it. Most have a thrift or second hand shop and many many parents use these and buy their only or spare versions from them…and you can see why. In many private schools, buying from the thrift shop is a badge of honour and having everything new is a bit looked down upon.

Definitley consider repairing the trousers or replacing with second hand. Telling the school the items are expensive probably is going to be a non-starter. Parents often like the sense of being a bit exclusive and having lots of kit.

But no, I don’t think you can approach the parent. Their child might tell quite a different version of events, plus this is stuff that happens all the time. And if another child is invovled in anything you aren’t happy about with your child, you always go direct to the school with your issue and let them deal with it and do t approach the other family directly yourself. This is really important.

Mine are all grown up now but do you know what OP, I think you've got a point.
I admire your balls for even thinking of challenging the other parents, if only more of us were held accountable for our kids then I'm sure their behaviour would improve.

100% this! My daughter's secondary school kilt cost £60 - there were no alternatives, you just had to pay it. Needless to say she wore the one same skirt throughout her time there.

Let's see a picture of the damage and see if we can advise on how to repair? If the fabric is still there they can be fixed. Even if not - patch them, the school can hardly complain.

It would be unreasonable yes. I’d just chalk it up to experience of young kids

Doesn't the school or PTA have a 2nd hand uniform shop?

Gold plated school trousers?

Wow. Stitch them up and send him in them. He won't notice.