WIBU to ask them to pay

[treaclepumpkin]

My son has come home from Reception today very upset and with a large (unfixable) hole in his trousers. Another child had pushed him over for no reason and then proceeded to laugh about it. This was all witnessed by their teacher, who did apparently tell the boy off (but he just kept laughing).

The trousers that ripped are for PE and I only have one other pair, so will need to buy another from the school shop, as they use them 2/3 times a week, including to go to forest school.

Would it be unreasonable to reach out to this kid's parents and ask them to pay for/replace the trousers? For context (if relevant) they cost £22. There is no issue here though about affordability for party. It's more the principle, especially as the trousers are barely 6 weeks old.

Not suggesting for one minute that they buy two pairs, but using any uniform item for Forest school seems crazy for me. It’s the place to use up all the fifth hand disreputable stuff before it completely disintegrates.

I'd be tempted to fix them with a fetching navy patch.

Every school has a second hand uniform shop.

Ah well, yes, anything new does tend to be saved for PE day!

Goodness no. And what type of school has trousers for reception that cost £22. Bonkers!

I would complain to the supplier and ask for a replacement. School uniform worn by young children should be made to withstand a fair amount of wear and tear.

Keep the torn pair in case you need to patch a future pair (I used to repair them from the inside with some sticky iron on webbing.

Whoever you bought those from must have seen you coming!......YABU just for paying £22 for school trousers......especially for Reception!.....

It's rubbish but wouldn't cross my mind to ask to pay. I see your point tho

Completely unreasonable
These things happen - they're children.

What happened is very annoying but I’d just stitch or patch them up.

Your child is in Reception and you're sending him to school in £22 trousers?!!

No I wouldn't ask. Annoying but one of those things. I'd find similar colour and patch. Ask the school if they have preloved uniform for sale

Just mend them yourself and try to put it behind you. I wouldn’t do anything at such an early stage in your child’s education. You have years at the school gate ahead of you. You could take a picture of the trousers and if there is another incident then perhaps then show the picture to the teacher or the other child’s parents.

Yes, you’d be totally unreasonable to do that. And unless you witnessed it you don’t know exactly what happened as no half decent teacher would give that account of events. If the teacher did tell you that’s what happened, then you have a teacher problem, patch the trousers or grab some in the 2nd hand uniform sale.

You are being unreasonable- this kind of thing will happen many more times I’m sure.

You should complain to the manufacturer of the trousers or the shop. It. Even after been pushed there shouldnt be a big hole. You only have them a few weeks. Granted tears and holes happen but not big ones. My dd tracksuit came with 2 repair patches so prehaps it is a thing.

No
just sew them fgs

There are some odd comments on this thread.

£22 is par for the course for tracksuit bottoms for a private school. But I agree there is likely to be a second hand shop to replace them at lower cost if they really can't be repaired.

It is normal Ime to wear school uniform for forest school, albeit with wellies rather than trainers.

I'd be taking issue with the school that are charging £22 for a pair of trousers at that age. Rather than targeting a boisterous child who has already been dealt with. I wouldn't pay £22 for my son's day to day uniform trousers when he starts secondary let alone for younger kids. They don't need trousers that expensive. A cheap pair of Asda or Primark tracksuit bottoms for a few quid would suffice for PE and forestry or a cheap pair of PE shorts

Not really the point of the question but I wholeheartedly agree that:

• the cost of the uniform is ridiculous generally, where I can but something from elsewhere, I definitely do
• the quality of this particular item isn't fantastic (many complaints have been made. From year 1 the PE kit is different (made by a different company), more expensive but the trousers are only marginally better - and the shorts are worse! But let me not get started on that.
• I was upset/angry when I posted this message, mainly because my kid was so upset (we are both over it now and the calm version of me would not have asked the parent to pay either).
• The teacher has made it clear my son was not at fault in the slightest. This is a notoriously problematic child, who according to various accounts jumps on tables, throws items around the classroom and hits teachers. I have personally witnessed this child at a non-school related class where he behaved terribly, to the point the coach went to look for his parents to ask for him to be removed.
• The hole (kind of like two holes with a bit of string thin material in the middle just holding them together is too big to be sewn and look anywhere close to decent. It would have to be patched. But as one of very, very, very few minorities at the school, who also don't earn megabucks (like many of the other parents appear to), my kids stand out more than enough already. They are not also going to become the only children there wearing patched clothes (which I'm sure is now going to lead to comments about me being a snob of something, but whatever)
• But noted above, I've let it go (and now bought new trousers - as there are no more uniform sales this term)

Appreciate the responses in any case, it was literally the first few of messages I saw when I initially posted that got me back to thinking more rationally than I might otherwise have done.

@AmandasFleckerl - Just saw your post. That is a brilliant idea about saving the material though. As it's such an uncommon colour. That short of patch could actually blend in quite well.

Why has this turned into a bashing private school uniform thread?

The issue of small kids wrecking theirs and the uniform of others happens in all schools. £22 might be a price many wouldn’t want to pay, but those choosing private schools know the uniform costs when they opt in. Those higher prices don’t make uniform immune to rips and spills. Complaining to the school or the manufacturer isn’t going to help or achieve anything. Expensive uniform is part of the culture.

Op has acknowledged that confronting the other kid’s parents isn’t the way forward.

Surely this is just a case of first-time school parent realising that kids wreck uniform. Experienced parents know that they spill on themselves and others and wreck and lose stuff and multiple items need replacing during primary. It’s not a nice realisation to new parents. Many learn quickly to mend, buy 2nd hand and to use non branded items if they are allowed. For those in private schools with expensive uniform, with items that can’t be mended or bought second hand, it’s just another part of the higher cost that parents have opted into.

If the impact of this other child’s behaviour is a real concern, speak to the school about it as a wider issue.

No I wouldn’t ask them to pay - they are Reception age and these things happen. In year 3 or 4 maybe I would when consequences of actions should be understood, but I would probably settle for an apology or acknowledgment instead even then.

I honk the teacher should tell the parents what happened. If I were the parents I would automatically offer to buy new ones.