Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

This mum just blocked my toddler from approaching hers

413 replies

Skysky1 · 04/10/2023 14:17

was in town today walking through M&S , with my 3 yr old.
We had just bought toys in the previous shop so he was out of pram and walking with his new toys in his hands and was excited about them.
Walking parallel to us was also a mum with toddler (around two)
My son approached him from the side and started walking directly next to him showing him his toys whilst they were both walking , the child smiled in response and didn't appear to seem at unease, however the mum swiftly stopped and put her arm out in front of my son blocked him between her arm and a Column so that he couldn't go any further and then she said ' excuse me ' as if for him to back away.
He turned to face me and I swooped him up and said ' he's only a toddler'
To which she didn't respond, she carried on walking and I changed direction.
I was left feeling quite sad for my son
I just wanted other mum's opinions on this . Was I in the wrong for letting my child approach hers , I guess everyone is entitled to their personal space. However I never anticipated that reaction it just seemed like a mean thing to do , and I'm always very welcoming to other kids that approach us

OP posts:
Ostryga · 04/10/2023 14:19

Maybe she just wanted to get on and didn’t want to have to watch another child? Shopping isn’t for making friends, it’s a pain in the bum with young kids.

Parks, play dates and soft play are when it’s fine for kids to head over to others.

AutumnFroglets · 04/10/2023 14:20

Perhaps she is aware that her toddler would make a toy grab and when prised out of his chubby little toddler hands he would go into full blown meltdown?

In other words life isn't always about you.

TheBirdintheCave · 04/10/2023 14:20

Hmm... this is a tough one. If it were my toddler and it was a particular time of day I'd be worried that seeing a new and exciting toy might bring on a tantrum. I don't think I'd be dragging him away but I'd certainly be looking to steer him in a different direction quickly.

TulipsTulipTulips · 04/10/2023 14:21

I might do that if I was on a hurry, or DD was playing up and any sort of distraction might lead to bad behaviour.

It’s a good thing for your son to learn that not everyone will want to play all the time.

BoohooWoohoo · 04/10/2023 14:22

Maybe her child is going through a smacking or hitting phase and she was worried that your child would get hurt?

Maybe she was in a hurry?

Maybe she believes in not talking to strangers?

It's not a park or playgroup where interaction would be expected.

Springcleaninginsummer · 04/10/2023 14:22

You know your toddler is friendly but you don't know whether hers is a biter! She might have been heading off trouble.

purpleme12 · 04/10/2023 14:22

I don't think you were wrong OP. I think she was rude and I think it's really strange behaviour.
Try to forget about it

Hummingbird233 · 04/10/2023 14:24

Unfortunately I think it's one of those situations that you won't ever know what the issue was.

It could be that her son has been unwell and she's wary of catching things. She could have poor mental health - it really could be anything.

I'm sure your son won't be affected long term.

plumtreebroke · 04/10/2023 14:25

Fear of catching something, maybe her child is immune compromised. Fight over toys, just in a bad mood, in a hurry. I wouldn't think about it too much. Next time it may be you dragging yours away for some reason only you know.

happsy · 04/10/2023 14:25

BoohooWoohoo · 04/10/2023 14:22

Maybe her child is going through a smacking or hitting phase and she was worried that your child would get hurt?

Maybe she was in a hurry?

Maybe she believes in not talking to strangers?

It's not a park or playgroup where interaction would be expected.

This. Why even make it into anything. Sad? Really, just get over it. She doesn't even know you, why take it so personally?

Hufflepods · 04/10/2023 14:27

I can't even picture the situation and how she really blocked your 3 year old.
Either way it doesn't matter, she's allowed to continue on with her day without stopping to entertain your child.
I'm sure she had things to do.

Ineedasitdown · 04/10/2023 14:28

It’s not about you. Other mum is entitled to Parent her child however she wants and owes you and your child nothing. You have no idea what’s going on in her life. Yabu.

EaudeJavel · 04/10/2023 14:29

I don't know, it could be as simple as not wanting for her child to grab the toys.

Just because you both have a 2-3 year old doesn't mean she is obliged to become friendly, and waste time for the 2 little ones to start pocking each other.

motleymop · 04/10/2023 14:30

My toddler always gets harassed when I take her to soft play and things - other children always make a beeline for her and are bothersome. Perhaps it's the same for hers and she's sick of it. Who knows.

EaudeJavel · 04/10/2023 14:30

She could have poor mental health

why, because she wanted her personal space?

Aquamarine1029 · 04/10/2023 14:31

You have no idea what's going on in that mum's life or what issues she dealing with today. You are taking this personally when it probably isn't. Let it go.

Original poster
Skysky1 · 04/10/2023 14:32

I can't even picture the situation and how she really blocked your 3 year old.
Either way it doesn't matter, she's allowed to continue on with her day without stopping to entertain your child.
I'm sure she had things to do.

In response to this , she could had continued walking my son was not blocking them. She stopped , turned around and blocked my son in

OP posts:
Octobermeterreadtime · 04/10/2023 14:33

Sadly only you thinks your dc is a cute dc carrying toys... She just saw a delay in her getting to where she was going..

curaçao · 04/10/2023 14:34

or she didnt want her child whining for a toy.

TheYearOfSmallThings · 04/10/2023 14:34

If your toddler showed mine a toy, mine would have snatched it and raised hell when he had to give it back. Which is something they have to learn, but in nursery or at home - not in M&S.

Strawberryfieldsforeverrr · 04/10/2023 14:35

One of my dc would have grabbed that toy, seeing it as an offer, and all hell would have broken loose trying to give it back.
She was busy shopping, not out looking for playmates for her dc.
You're really overthinking this. Just because you had time to dawdle through Marks today doesn't mean she did.

Sartre · 04/10/2023 14:35

Try not to take it personally. Maybe she knows her 2 year old is likely to try snatch one of the toys or maybe they were in a rush and she didn’t want her DC to be distracted. No idea, it probably isn’t personal though.

InTheRainOnATrain · 04/10/2023 14:36

Not saying I’d do it but I do sort of get it. Your DC is showing off his new toys, fair enough he’s 3 and excited, but to her toddler it might be more like taunting, essentially look what I’ve got but no you can’t play with it because it’s mine and not yours. And it’s the supermarket not a playground so not like they can play together or anything, so I see why she might have been proactive in shutting it down and avoiding her kid grabbing and/or a tantrum.

Or her kid has an infectious disease, or a poor immune system, or she has poor mental health, or just hates other kids. God knows really. Don’t worry about it.

Dizzydeers · 04/10/2023 14:36

Sounds like she couldn’t have been preempting a meltdown or just didn’t want her child to stop and play which is fair enough when out shopping.

margotrose · 04/10/2023 14:38

Maybe she was in a rush.
Maybe she didn't want her toddler snatching the toy or having a tantrum because he wasn't allowed one.
Maybe she was in a bad mood.
Maybe she was tired.

It really doesn't matter.