This mum just blocked my toddler from approaching hers

[Skysky1]

was in town today walking through M&S , with my 3 yr old.
We had just bought toys in the previous shop so he was out of pram and walking with his new toys in his hands and was excited about them.
Walking parallel to us was also a mum with toddler (around two)
My son approached him from the side and started walking directly next to him showing him his toys whilst they were both walking , the child smiled in response and didn't appear to seem at unease, however the mum swiftly stopped and put her arm out in front of my son blocked him between her arm and a Column so that he couldn't go any further and then she said ' excuse me ' as if for him to back away.
He turned to face me and I swooped him up and said ' he's only a toddler'
To which she didn't respond, she carried on walking and I changed direction.
I was left feeling quite sad for my son
I just wanted other mum's opinions on this . Was I in the wrong for letting my child approach hers , I guess everyone is entitled to their personal space. However I never anticipated that reaction it just seemed like a mean thing to do , and I'm always very welcoming to other kids that approach us

Illuminating thread.

This was a fleeting encounter that was here one moment, and (in sensible people's worlds) forgotten the next. It should take up exactly that degree of headspace.

Time, place and circumstance are enough to determine what's polite behaviour and what isn't - or, more importantly, whether it actually matters in the first place.

IME there's a certain type of parent who often bleats: 'but s/he's only little/6/a child/a toddler!' As if the person they are interacting with can't already see that, or that the protestation doesn't invariably happen when their child is making a nuisance of themselves to somebody else. In those circumstances, the right thing to do is apologise and put a stop to that behaviour.

If people attach this degree of significance to a fly-past interaction then there's no wonder there are so many complaints that life is exhausting and wearing people down.

You can't choose how other people behave. You can choose how you react. Don't sweat the small stuff.

She has issues clearly.... it's not you. All she had to do was smile, and then gently guide her own son away of she didn't want them close together (maybe worrying about catching a cold or whatever). Your child will grow up a better person than her poor kid.

All she had to do was smile, and then gently guide her own son away of she didn't want them close together
You do realise that is impossible to do if OPs child is following? No amount of guiding her own child would make OPs son go back to OP who is struggling with a pram nearly 7ft away. What's she supposed to do, take OPs child home with her if he doesn't voluntarily go back?

OP needs to put her child in reins or teach him to hold her hand/pram if she gets this upset. Like most other parents do.

Could have been she didn't want hers to snatch a toy, and have a melt down. Or she thought your child was following them, and wanted to return her back to your care. I wouldn't read anything bad into it. I'm sure she did it with the best of intentions.

Where did it say he was following?? She blocked him immediately... no chance for following. I literally had the same thing happen the other day, a 3 year old approached my 5 month old baby. I didn't want her to touch her as I could see her hands weren't clean. I smiled at her and said hello and then redirected myself (holding baby) away from her. No need to be rude or make the child feel bad for being friendly.

Erm Autumnfroglet. Where did it say he was following?? She blocked him immediately... no chance for following. I literally had the same thing happen the other day, a 3 year old approached my 5 month old baby. I didn't want her to touch her as I could see her hands weren't clean. I smiled at her and said hello and then redirected myself (holding baby) away from her. No need to be rude or make the child feel bad for being friendly.

"3 yr old is on pathway for Autism diagnoses , is non verbal and not much 'recall' when I call his name.
I was standing about 2 metres behind trying to catch up with the pram when he was walking alongside the other child."

Ah this makes so much more sense now. You were too far away, and your child has zero recall. Your child was following the lady and the child. Of course she stopped to allow you time to catch up with your child. What if she did nothing, but kept walking. Eventually she'd go into another shop, or cross a road. You should have your child either holding your hand/holding the pushchair or on reins. 2 metres away in a busy place with no recall, isn't great.

I was standing about 2 metres behind trying to catch up with the pram when he was walking alongside the other child.

If you are 7ft away from your child in a crowded place with lots of clothes rails that block your eyeline, and struggling with a pram and your child is walking with another child and adult, (who is random stranger) then they will naturally end up following expecially if the random stranger quickens her pace to "guide" her child away. OP was very silly to let her young child get so far in front of her, especially one who doesn't always respond to her calls.

Also have to factor in I had to make room for space for the pram between me and the lady other wise I would had been right up her backside with it
No rails between us just a path , so I was in direct sight of him and the store was not packed. If he was running off I would had put him back in the pram , which he wasn't. He was calmly walking

I just find this situation really sad. I do think UK culture views children as a nuisance. I live as an expat in Budapest and so many people make a fuss of young children here. I have a baby and I can't go anywhere without someone stopping to coo at him. Honestly, he gets so much attention! My 3yo still gets a lot of fuss too. If there are two kids in a shop here it's quite usual that the parents will encourage them to wave to each other or stop to say hello.

Even at soft play my DC knew not to talk to the other children they didn't know.

So how do they make friends then, both at school or in clubs? How old are your children now?
What have you taught them about what to do if they get lost or otherwise separated from you or the adult looking after them?

Soft play is not a structured environment like school or a club is.

I told my kids the common sense thing. I taught them our home address and phone number from an early age. If they ever got lost, they would find a trusted adult (eg shopkeeper, policeman) and tell them they're lost.

Reading some of the posts on MN, I really do feel like there is a real growing culture of rudeness.
Is it really that hard to utter a few words such as “sorry we’re a bit tired” or “sorry we’re in a huge rush” rather than just wordlessly sticking your arm in a child’s face.
I agree OP that it was quite rude.

I think it's rude to allow your child to bother a stranger when they are shopping or at least without accepting the fact that not everyone wants to be bothered by a random child for whatever reason. Not everything revolves around children and not everyone thinks other children are adorable.

OP herself said it happened very quickly, maybe the other mum just did what she felt was fastest to stop the child.

Some peoples responses on here are just unnecessarily brutal. Absolutely fair enough if the mum did not have time for her child to be distracted by yours but she didn’t need to be so dramatic about it. She could have politely directed him away from your child. No need to respond to him like that. He’s just a kid, he doesn’t know any better.

Yet you seem v offended by my perfectly reasonable post 😂

A 3 year old is nor a toddler

You’re 100% being unreasonable here.

You were not in control of your child, 2 metres is too far, and nobody - and I mean literally nobody - is obligated to interact with your child in this scenario.

You’re also not helping by over egging it…she did not hit your child or even nearly hit your child, she set a gentle physical boundary, the “she could have hit him because he was still walking and she did it so quickly” was the part where it became clear that the issue here lies with you.

Why would she be sorry though?

Yep! Somewhere, out there... this mum won't even have registered this interaction with you and DC!

I think the arm out was possibly her hiding the toy from her own child's view - I've done similar in the past ! The new toy would have absolutely caused a meltdown or whiney unhappy child to tow around town. Not fun in any scenario.

Who knows why she felt the need to stop your child interacting with hers because there are a myriad of possible scenarios, including she's maybe just rude.
I think it's quite strange that you seem to think it's such a big deal though. I'd have forgotten it by the time I'd left the shop!

@BBQchickensalad

I agree. A lot of the replies I was reading at the time seemed to be reprimanding the mum for even allowing it to happen in the first place.

My 14m loves other children but is learning most parents don't want him to mx with their children because people do this all the time.
It's very sad to see his crestfallen little face when another parent turns their child around so they can't meet.

I'm sure some have valid reasons but actually I think it's mainly parent preference and its sad. Dh who is also very chatty to everone even commented how rude lots of young parents are. Even on the park people don't want kids to interact.