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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

This mum just blocked my toddler from approaching hers

413 replies

Skysky1 · 04/10/2023 14:17

was in town today walking through M&S , with my 3 yr old.
We had just bought toys in the previous shop so he was out of pram and walking with his new toys in his hands and was excited about them.
Walking parallel to us was also a mum with toddler (around two)
My son approached him from the side and started walking directly next to him showing him his toys whilst they were both walking , the child smiled in response and didn't appear to seem at unease, however the mum swiftly stopped and put her arm out in front of my son blocked him between her arm and a Column so that he couldn't go any further and then she said ' excuse me ' as if for him to back away.
He turned to face me and I swooped him up and said ' he's only a toddler'
To which she didn't respond, she carried on walking and I changed direction.
I was left feeling quite sad for my son
I just wanted other mum's opinions on this . Was I in the wrong for letting my child approach hers , I guess everyone is entitled to their personal space. However I never anticipated that reaction it just seemed like a mean thing to do , and I'm always very welcoming to other kids that approach us

OP posts:
GalaApples · 04/10/2023 14:38

YANBU. She was rude, and whatever her reasons it would not have hurt her to briefly explain her reasons. It is so sad that many people are inconsiderate of other people's feelings, and just don't bother.

Shopper727 · 04/10/2023 14:41

If she was in that much of a rush her kid wouldn’t have been walking a smile and oh lucky boy and walking off with her kid a bit faster would’ve done she was weird about it
some people are just weird op

Gumbo · 04/10/2023 14:44

Her child has leprosy Sad. She doesn't want anyone to get too close in case they spot it (or catch it) and shes really embarrassed by the situation.

HTH

sodthesodoff · 04/10/2023 14:45

Can you really not see it from her point of view? For any of the above reasons

It's really not all about you

EaudeJavel · 04/10/2023 14:45

GalaApples · 04/10/2023 14:38

YANBU. She was rude, and whatever her reasons it would not have hurt her to briefly explain her reasons. It is so sad that many people are inconsiderate of other people's feelings, and just don't bother.

😂😂😂

TheLongGloriesOfTheWinterMoon · 04/10/2023 14:46

You have no idea why she didn't want her child to deal with your child's overtures.
Maybe she knew her child would thump yours
Maybe her child has Covid
Maybe your child looked like he was going to thump hers
Maybe it's the 10th child that's approached her today
Maybe she just didn't want to be stopping and talking toddler shit with another adult.

It's no big deal. Let it go. 🎵

margotrose · 04/10/2023 14:47

GalaApples · 04/10/2023 14:38

YANBU. She was rude, and whatever her reasons it would not have hurt her to briefly explain her reasons. It is so sad that many people are inconsiderate of other people's feelings, and just don't bother.

She doesn't owe a complete stranger an explanation for her behaviour.

lilyblue5 · 04/10/2023 14:47

Two reasons I would do this..

  1. child looks obviously sick
  2. My child is sick
TheLongGloriesOfTheWinterMoon · 04/10/2023 14:47

GalaApples · 04/10/2023 14:38

YANBU. She was rude, and whatever her reasons it would not have hurt her to briefly explain her reasons. It is so sad that many people are inconsiderate of other people's feelings, and just don't bother.

Like the OP expecting everyone to unconditionally want her kid mithering them?
Yeah, I get that.

WongWifi · 04/10/2023 14:48

Just reading some of these responses saddens me. There’s nothing wrong with being polite.

Mariposista · 04/10/2023 14:48

I'd have been tempted to say 'got somewhere to be have you?' dripping with sarcasm.
obviously wouldn't have actually lowered myself to that level in front of the kiddies. What a twat. Your boy sounds lively and friendly.

TheLongGloriesOfTheWinterMoon · 04/10/2023 14:49

Mariposista · 04/10/2023 14:48

I'd have been tempted to say 'got somewhere to be have you?' dripping with sarcasm.
obviously wouldn't have actually lowered myself to that level in front of the kiddies. What a twat. Your boy sounds lively and friendly.

And you'd have looked unhinged.

LemonLight · 04/10/2023 14:50

I think gently YABU to be honest. Out shopping isn't always the time to initiate an interaction with a stranger, some people don't want to be approached by someone they don't know and have every right to go about their business. You can't really expect every random stranger to want your kid hovering around because you think it's cute.

EaudeJavel · 04/10/2023 14:50

Mariposista · 04/10/2023 14:48

I'd have been tempted to say 'got somewhere to be have you?' dripping with sarcasm.
obviously wouldn't have actually lowered myself to that level in front of the kiddies. What a twat. Your boy sounds lively and friendly.

nowhere has the old MN saying be more fitting:

ARE YOU ON GLUE?

CowboyJoanna · 04/10/2023 14:51

Maybe the mum taught her children not to talk to strangers

givemushypeasachance · 04/10/2023 14:51

Replace toddlers with dogs. Someone else has a dog walking close up next to them, and your dog wanders up tail wagging to say hello. Sometimes the other owners are happy about that and see it as nice the two dogs can stop to meet and maybe play together. But other times people just want to get going, or their dog is shy or reactive, or a million other reasons why they don't react positively to your dog's "being friendly". That's not personal it's just life and other people having their own shit going on.

pinkyredrose · 04/10/2023 14:52

Mariposista · 04/10/2023 14:48

I'd have been tempted to say 'got somewhere to be have you?' dripping with sarcasm.
obviously wouldn't have actually lowered myself to that level in front of the kiddies. What a twat. Your boy sounds lively and friendly.

Seriously? It's a shop not soft play. I do think some parents think their kids is the centre of the world.

Hufflepods · 04/10/2023 14:53

@Mariposista I'd have been tempted to say 'got somewhere to be have you?' dripping with sarcasm.

Absolutely unhinged.

truthhurts23 · 04/10/2023 14:53

Weird. Why couldn’t she just give a little smile and then scurry off ? Did she really need to put her arm out and be dramatic ..

usernother · 04/10/2023 14:53

You'll never know why she did it. I wouldn't give it another thought OP.

EaudeJavel · 04/10/2023 14:53

WongWifi · 04/10/2023 14:48

Just reading some of these responses saddens me. There’s nothing wrong with being polite.

Bothering complete strangers and delaying them with inane talks about yourself and your feelings is extremely rude.

it's hilarious on this forum, but in real life, it's bonkers and bad-mannered.

Neverwatchedgameofthrones · 04/10/2023 14:54

Grow up OP

CuriouslyMinded · 04/10/2023 14:54

I don't think either of you were wrong OP. It's fine for you to let your little one approach other kids and it's fine for their parents to nip the interaction in the bud if they don't have time/don't want the interaction.
Try not to take it personally for you or your son.

Original poster
Skysky1 · 04/10/2023 14:54

LemonLight · 04/10/2023 14:50

I think gently YABU to be honest. Out shopping isn't always the time to initiate an interaction with a stranger, some people don't want to be approached by someone they don't know and have every right to go about their business. You can't really expect every random stranger to want your kid hovering around because you think it's cute.

Edited

I think it was more so her removing my child from her environment rather than continuing on with her child.

OP posts:
Playingintheshadow · 04/10/2023 14:55

I wouldn't even give it a second thought. The reason, if there is one, doesn't matter.