This mum just blocked my toddler from approaching hers

[Skysky1]

was in town today walking through M&S , with my 3 yr old.
We had just bought toys in the previous shop so he was out of pram and walking with his new toys in his hands and was excited about them.
Walking parallel to us was also a mum with toddler (around two)
My son approached him from the side and started walking directly next to him showing him his toys whilst they were both walking , the child smiled in response and didn't appear to seem at unease, however the mum swiftly stopped and put her arm out in front of my son blocked him between her arm and a Column so that he couldn't go any further and then she said ' excuse me ' as if for him to back away.
He turned to face me and I swooped him up and said ' he's only a toddler'
To which she didn't respond, she carried on walking and I changed direction.
I was left feeling quite sad for my son
I just wanted other mum's opinions on this . Was I in the wrong for letting my child approach hers , I guess everyone is entitled to their personal space. However I never anticipated that reaction it just seemed like a mean thing to do , and I'm always very welcoming to other kids that approach us

This interaction doesn’t need a second thought, never mind a MN thread.

I would never have let my toddler brandish their new toys in front of another toddler anyway. It feels kind of mean if you are not intent on sharing, as they don’t really understand.

When my youngest was a toddler, I'm sure there were occasions where I looked like a helicopter parent. The reality was that I knew my happy smiling chubster had the reflexes of a striking cobra, and could scratch another child's face in milliseconds!

He's fine now.

Could be anything, but I would do that if my child was maybe unwell. Last week my little girl was off school with a stomach upset, I had to take her with me to run an errand and just tried my best to keep her away from people. An old lady was making a fuss of her and I just kind of smiled and pulled her away. This boy may have had chicken pox, a virus, anything. I wouldn’t give it another thought.

YANBU OP, she was rude. Whatever her (supposed excuses reasons people want to make up for her here.) His a 3 year old little boy being friendly and sociable, it’s very sweet. If people are too grumpy to realise that then I’d judge them hard too. Bunch of miserable gits on this thread!

Maybe her little one is a grabber, pusher or a bitter. Maybe he had D&V or Covid. Maybe she knew he'd kick off if he realised your DC had a toy. Maybe she was in a rush. You shouldn't take it too personally.

Life is a lot easier when you accept that you aren't the centre of the universe and 99% of what people do is about what is going on in their life and none of your business.

I have seen my friends with an immuno-compromised child (post chemo) do similar. Having to repeatedly explain to strangers must be draining. It would be better if people didn't assume they were owed an explanation for everything that other people do, particularly when it has barely any objective impact on your day.

Like the OP is bashing the other mother?

Just a thought but perhaps her toddler is unwell and can’t mix with others their age?

Blimey, some of the replies here are savage. She sounded downright rude, all she needed to do was politely say why she didn't want your DC near hers.

Sadly, it seems like politeness is out of reach for a lot of people.

Wow. Really?

Maybe she actually did! Like a GP/midwife/dentist/school appointment?

Or maybe she just knew an older child carrying a toy would be too much for her 2 year old to handle not having one himself.

A 3 year old is not a toddler by the way, @Skysky1

There are a 101 reasons to explain why she did this, you will never know!

Don’t take it personally, just forget it and get on with your day.

I have to say these responses are a bit surprising…

yes, there are a whole host of reasons why the other mum might have acted in this way; anxiety, mental health, worried about her child’s behaviour.

however the most obvious doesn’t seem to here…

maybe she’s just rude? Nowt as queer as folk.

I’m a bit jaded by the attitude that we must all assume that everyone has a terrible back story/ND/introvert etc and that any rudeness is therefore excusable because we haven’t walked a mile in their shoes.

OP- you did nothing wrong. Neither did your child who behaved like a normal, happy toddler. The other woman’s behaviour says more about her than you. There are 101 ways you can politely avoid approaches from a toddler- this woman chose to be rude.

if your child continues with this sociable, open and friendly attitude, he’ll grow up to be a contented, sociable person who derives great pleasure from social interaction. He may even answer the door to unexpected callers!

But Pps are right when they say don’t give this headspace.

@Catastrophejane maybe she's just rude

That's the thing though, people are rarely just rude to be rude. They have their reasons. it's helpful to be mindful of that as it makes it easier to let stuff go.

Just being rude in order to cause distress to someone else -well that's sociopathy which is much rarer than all the other reasons you think are less obvious like ND, Anxiety etc.

Either way rude for no reason, or with good reason. OP doesn't have to make it her business.

@MysteryBelle

you ok Hun?

How tall is your 3 yr old? If I put my arm out, my 3 year old grandchild would just run under it!!!
YABVVVU

There's way too much introspection and judgement about this tiny incident. The other woman might have just been rude, or stressed or any of the other things that people have mentioned on this thread.

There is no need for you to feel sad for your child, no need for you to think anything at all about the other woman, no need to dwell on it, or seek any kind of explanation. She didn't want your child near hers, for reasons unknown, that's all it was. You weren't wrong for not redirecting your child away beforehand.

Ok, so your child was not next to her child.

Your child was behind. Following her child. That's different, if she's trying to move away, and your child is behind actively following them with toys. I presume her child was getting distracted. Mine would be, I don't expect a child with multiple toys wandering around the supermarket waving them under the noses of my toddlers and I wouldn't appreciate it either. I have toddler twins, and one of them would think they were being offered the toy. Then I'd be dealing with the meltdown you had allowed your child to cause, while you and your child happily toddled off with their multiple toys.

She felt the need to block the way of your child to prevent him following hers further. Saying "excuse me".

It sounds like your child was making a nuisance of themselves and you are genuinely not seeing it/minimising it/didn't do anything yourself and so she stepped in quickly to nip the situation in the bud.

Obviously this ignores all the other possibilities such as her child was sick, maybe has additional needs etc. Even taking this into account, a supermarket, is not the place for your child to be playing. If mine wandered up to someone, and was hovering or following, I'd guide them away.

Oh, were you there to witness the incident?

Thought not. Your interpretation is absolutely bonkers. It's not 'mean and aggressive' to separate your kid from another toddler and say 'Excuse me' and it's not even close to assault. What the fuck's wrong with you?

There could be a million reasons why this parent didn't want another child walking along with hers showing him toys. I don't even have kids and I can think of loads of reasons why in this scenario she might have wanted deter the OP's son. It's really not a big deal.

The woman said excuse me, stopped OP's kid from interacting with hers and moved on.

That's not really all that rude.

She doesn't owe the OP an explanation at all.

Small stuff.

But it's an endless well of surprises, the sort of insignificant encounter that takes up so much of some people's headspace. I've lost count of the number of 'who was rude' threads on here.

Odd, in RL I tend to go to the shops to buy food. Not to set up playdates, get into conversation with strangers or be told I'm Scrooge because I don't think everyone's snotty nosed, bacteria filled child who never heard the word 'no' is so adorable my child has an obligation to interact with him or her. I never knew the shops were filled with attention starved, bored women hunting for toddlers and their parents to guilt-trip into becoming friends with their overstimulated children. Are you sure you're not confusing 'shop' with 'playground'?

I agree. People saying we don’t know what might be going on in that woman’s life - she also didn’t know what might have been going on in OP‘s life. It’s not a one way street.
She could have smiled briefly, said they were in a hurry, then OP probably wouldn’t end up feeling awkward.
To the PP saying supermarkets are not for making friends - jeez, we’re talking about a three year old here.

I think it was more so her removing my child from her environment

Why should she have to accept other people's children in her personal space, though? She was in a hurry, your kid was trailing after hers and probably she just didn't want him distracted or didn't want him to start screaming for toys because he saw your son had something.

Of course your little boy is the centre of your universe and you cannot imagine why anyone wouldn't want him around - you're his mum and you know he's the loveliest lad in the world, and that's as it should be! But to everyone else, he is just a random kid. I honestly don't think you need to take this personally or worry about your son's feelings being hurt.

It was rude. Don’t listen to all the bollocks on here saying it wasn’t. It was. She could have had a million reasons but all it would have taken was a little eye contact with you and a ‘sorry he’s tantrum prone/not well/about to have a melt down, whatever. I was rude and honestly, don’t let folk on here gaslight you into thinking it wasn’t. So many folk all against gaslighting yet they do it on here to OP’s on a daily basis. It was rude.