To think that 14 year olds don’t need educated on sex positions?

[fourelementary]

My dd doesn’t want to go to school this afternoon as she is embarrassed to go to her sex education lesson. I spoke to her about how it was good that young people were being taught about sex and she went into more detail about why she is uncomfortable.
Last week they discussed sexual positions and different ways to have sex including anal. She was mortified and said she doesn’t mind knowing about sex (we’ve always been honest about the birds and the bees from a young age anyway) but she finds this awkward and far too much information about which she has absolutely no interest currently.

I am no prude, but was quite shocked at the detail being discussed and agree with her it’s unnecessary for this age group.

Is it optional ? I think teenagers should be able to skip these lessons if they feel uncomfortable with the content.

Exactly but ‘tools to push back’ are being able to say no. Not hearing with peers that it’s normal and fine, just need lubrication. It’s really not normal or fine to be having sex so young. Talking honestly about porn and pressures is absolutely good, but talking as if this pressure to have sex is normal and fine by discussing sex positions is just being part of that pressure, and ignores safeguarding.

A significant number of kids are basically being abused, by their families or boyfriends at this age, sexually. These are the people we need to help, and they won’t be helped by normalising it. They will be helped by people able to pick up safeguarding issues, by people giving them the strength to see it’s not normal, and also yes giving them access to specialist advice where they, if needed, can talk about contraception and safety but with a trained nurse.

FFS. This is so fvcking wrong.

More and more I'm hearing stories about young girls whose first sexual experience is anal because the boy insists on it and it's all he knows from watching porn from a far too young age. The hyper pornification of society and smashing of sexual boundaries is causing us all so much fvcking damage.

Yeah God forbid gay teens get any sex education that is relevant to them.

Much better we don’t educate gay and bisexual teenage boys on safe anal sex. I’m sure that ignorance won’t have any negative health implications for them or the wider population.

🙄

Bizarre to see those advocating for comprehensive sex education being labelled ‘groomers’. Actual groomers THRIVE on ignorance and secrecy. Their greatest weapons are being able to manipulate children into relying on them for information, not understanding boundaries or consent, not knowing what is safe and healthy and normal in respect of sex.

It's not Option A) 14 year old learns about sex in school vs Option B) 14 year old learns about it later. It's A) kid gets some sort of framework for thinking about consent and choices and safety in school vs B) kid learns about it all from other teens and porn.

Which is exactly why they need to know about it.

It’s not just boys (although the issue with boys and porn is off the scale) my DDs have told me several stories about female friends who thought it was a great way to have sex without the pregnancy risk until they tried it and discovered it wasn’t remotely what they expected.

The problem is that we have a young generation who’ve seen porn and in porn it just looks the same as porn vaginal - get horny, stick it in, slam/be slammed and everyone has a great time. They don’t see the pain, the mess and the injuries that come from rushing it, and they don’t see the time, the effort and the still chance of mess from doing it with time taken.

Consent yes, contraception/STI safety yes.
How-to guide no. The biology of reproduction is not a how-to guide to hetero sex, so a how-to guide for homosexual sex is not needed to balance it.

harmful, misogynistic and dangerous practise

There are your reasons…

More and more young people are sustaining injuries from anal, with it being so normalised by porn.

It's too much. 'Oh but some kids are doing it...some kids are LGBT, some kids watch porn' Yeah but not my kids. Not all kids. Some kids! So why should kids who are no where near ready for this, be subjected to hearing about anal and God know what else?

If you can point out to me the young people who have been abused as children, the ones who are in coercive relationships, the ones who are coming under pressure to have sex they don’t want to have, the ones who are exposed to extreme pornography as the model for sexual relationships that would be great.

At 14 I knew of one girl who was groomed into a relationship by a 30 year old man who did anal when she was on her period. No one would have looked at her and said she was vulnerable, but she was. Three girls ended up pregnant at 14, again not girls you would think were sexually actively. One boy was charged with rape following a house party, claiming the girl consented to various sexual activities and so he thought she wanted sex.

At this time sex ed was of the biological “this bit goes here” variety, these young people were utterly ill equipped for the sex they were having, and one was being abused but had no framework or language to understand that.

Good sex ed is important. Yes we need to take care about how it’s taught and where materials might come from but “nice” kids need to know too, before they’re faced with a situation they don’t have the skills to handle.

Imo teenagers shouldn’t be finding out new things - like anal in porn is not actually normal - in school sex education classes.

By 14 parents should have long since had conversations about porn and its problems with their child.

No no no! Educating kids in a safe classroom setting is the wise thing to do. Make no mistake, they WILL see and hear about these things in school, you can't police other people's kids or your kids interactions with them. It's a sad fact of life now. There is no way of keeping kids away from this stuff, short of home educating and keeping them in the house 24/7. The stuff is out there, it's so much better that they know what they're being exposed to and can digest it, rather than just thinking it's expected. It's just modern life.

Teens, straight and gay need to be taught about anal (especially as it is now mainstream) and learn how to do it in the safest possible way if they wish to do it. Not telling them this information will lead them to make uninformed decisions which lead to injury and to fully consent they need to be fully informed. Porn doesn’t show teens how to properly prepare for sex both vaginal and anal, so I think it is definitely needed.

Yes! They absolutely need to be taught about safety, consent etc as much as girls & that they have lots of options if they want to experiment with sex that need less preparation and have less risk of injury.

Ok, so what’s your plan? You don’t want them being taught about it in school so how are you going to stop them learning about it from porn, or their friends who watch porn? How are you going to keep them safe without offering an alternative to the internet?

Do you think it’s better for them to learn from Billy in the playground who saw it on pornhub?

What is your solution?

wait ...
Eiffel Towering???

Those who think that your kids haven't been exposed to porn yet... have you seen the stats?

It isn'ta minority of 'badly protected' children being exposed to extreme stuff, it's pretty much all children. Even if your daughter isn't exposed to violent anal porn/choking videos etc. while she's still a child, the boys she dates probably will have been.

"Young people were asked in the survey what age they were when they first saw pornography. The youngest reported viewing was at three years old, with the average age 12"

"22% of students had viewed porn on multiple occasions. Of those, one in five said they had a porn habit and one in 10 said they felt addicted."

"Those who watched more than once were more likely to report having acted out something they first saw in pornography videos"

"two-thirds of young adults aged 18-21 saying they had seen violent pornography before turning 18."

https://www.theguardian.com/society/2023/mar/10/porn-study-survey-uk-teenagers-addicted

I agree with a lot of this. My DC explained to me exactly what was uncomfortable about the lessons and it felt really wrong to me to then override the boundaries she had asserted and her unwillingness to be engage in sexual context in the specific setting that she was being asked to.

Actually not. There evidence that for kids who are sexually active, chatting about it improves outcomes. So normally this would be, if you look at America, where most of the research is conducted, Lower income neighbourhoods, downtown new York etc. For other children, you just make them curious. Over sexualizing children does not have good outcomes. But it's not politically correct to say, aye? So we all pretend kids should learn about gay sex and bdsm and this that and the other, 'to improve outcomes'. When it is not nearly true.

Would you say sex education is better (or more in depth, started earlier) now or some years ago?
Now right?
We barely had any sex education back in the day.

Would you say teenage pregnancies had increased or decreased?
Increased.
Would you say children engage in sexual activity earlier or later these days?
Earlier
Std's? Anal sex? Sexual perversions (ie bdsm etc)
Up or down?
All up.

So sorry we don't buy the bullshit of it 'helping our children'